Friday, June 13, 2008

I've been left behind? Here's your chance to gloat

I have been told many times that I am not exactly in God's good graces by a wide variety of people. Now a web site called You've Been Left Behind give you the opportunity to leave me a message saying, in effect, "I told you so!" after the rapture.

For the low price of only $40 for the first year, you can leave messages to be sent to up to 62 email addresses of your damned (literally) friends and family. Yep, you can finally tell your gay uncle, the ACLU member at your office, your feminist friends, and college roommate who had an abortion exactly why they weren't carried away in the rapture. While you and your family are safely in heaven, automated emails will go out to those behind to suffer on Earth.

How does the system know when the rapture has occourred? No, they didn't hire some atheists to monitor the system. If three of five top execs do not log in for three days in a row, the system for three days in a row, the emails are set to go out (I find this interesting since it implies they think there is a good chance that at least two of them will be left behind!)

I can see this leading to some embarassing situations when I get an email from someone telling me I have been left behind and then seeing that person at work the next day...awkward!

5 comments:

kkdither said...

I'm not sure if I really get it. I think I would rather this scenerio:

I keep my true thoughts of people whom I can't stand or who have done me wrong in emails, just waiting to be sent.

If I don't sign in at some point within say 2 weeks, the emails go out. Therefore, In the event of my demise....the emails go out, the people whom I can't stand get notified of what I really think of them.

I don't lose my job, I'm not caught up in any possible retribution, scandal or nasty situations. Sweet deal.

Anyone wanna sign up?

I'd just worry that somehow I would miss a deadline at some point and they would go out while I'm still around.

OrbsCorbs said...

My usual cynicism/satiric bent fails me here. I don't know what to say about people who are so caught up in a "contest" to get into heaven that they feel the need to deride those who aren't. Isn't the idea of religion, especially the "Christian" religions, to love one another and take care of each other? I do not understand the use of religion as a weapon of intimidation against others. I had 12 years of prejudice and perjury rammed down my throat in parochial schools by scum whose actions daily gave the lie to their hypocrisy. Today I cannot even look their likes in the eyes for fear that I will explode into a rage.

I agree that this has more to do with gloating than anything else. How utterly sick and twisted some things become.

Huck Finn said...

I once had a fat black lady with a gaggle of kids come to my door to ram the word down my throat. I sat down on my porch and asked about heaven and if it was true that you'd be joyful all the time. She claimed yes, and for eternity.

I told her when I was young I'd done acid and it made me grin. It was all good fun and I grinned and grinned with happyness. After about six hours though, I didn't want to grin anymore. I wanted to come down but ended up grinning for another two hours. Now you're telling me I'd be stuck grinning in heaven for an eernity? Man, that's longer than a DAY!

Then there's the euphoria. We all know saddness, and we all know happyness. One is the opposite of the other. How will you know you're happy after a milenia passes? Without a bit of sadness to give you a scale of happyness, I think after a few years, no one will know if they are happy, sad or without any feeling at all.

By the time I got done, the kids were nodding their heads in agreement, and the poor gal was beside herself. "We have to go now." and she left very quickly. So much so she forgot to give me one of the Jesus saves pamphlets. She didn't even bother with any of the othber houses in the neighborhood. Musta thought she was talking to Satan himself.

hale-bopp said...

Wow! I found something that even Orbs couldn't get digs in on...feel like I accomplished something there :)

OrbsCorbs said...

When I said, "How utterly sick and twisted some things become," I was referring to myself. ;)