Monday, September 29, 2008

Suckers! I am Making Out on This Bailout!

Yep, while you all are left holding the $700 billion bag, I am going to be on a beach in Rio. I just got an email from the Minister of Treasure asking for my help in the money transfer ensuring me of a healthy commission for my efforts.

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Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
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Easy money...what could possibly go wrong?

3 comments:

kkdither said...

Hate to break it to you hale, I will be on that same beach. I got it too.... ;)

Anonymous said...

I got my third request so I knew it was legit! I am soon going to get my $$. Maybe we can plane-pool. If any of the airlines are still working. Wait...we can buy our own. Of course we will be co-owners. See ya!

OrbsCorbs said...

Dang, I didn't get one.

:(

However, it appears that I've won a few foreign lotteries that I never entered and people I never knew are dropping dead left and right leaving tons of money to people who need me to help them get it, so I should be OK.