Tuesday, November 25, 2008

"Government announces new loan programs"

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ioHc80xKMiATnqCpK0cDKJzk_nPQD94M2QCG0

In related news, the government also announced that "a thousand gazillion jillion megabillion dollars" are going to be rocketed into the sun in an effort to jump start solar power.

According to one unidentified Treasury official, "We're not going to stop until every last penny of America's money is spent in one way or another. You can rest assured that we are responding to the economic meltdown by mortgaging your and your descendants' future as rapidly as we possibly can."

6 comments:

OrbsCorbs said...

OK, they authorized a $700 billion bailout. Half of that has already been spent. Now they announce two new loan programs worth $800 billion. Where is that money coming from? I guess it really doesn't matter anymore. I wonder if my landlord will accept government promises in lieu of next month's rent?

SER said...

I love the way the government talks "a thousand gazillion jillion megabillion dollars" is “chump” change!

To try to increase the availability of home loans to borrowers, the Federal Reserve said it will buy up to $100 billion in direct obligations from mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac as well as the Federal Home Loan Banks.

It sure is refreshing to know these CEO son-a-bitches will still be able to afford wiener water soup for the holidays!

Anonymous said...

Where is that money coming from? Let me drop my pants, bend over and grab my ankles....you can look for it there.

AvengingAngel said...

Wait, if we rocket all this money into the Sun, won't that increase global warming.

OrbsCorbs said...

You're right AA. We should just burn the money instead. No, that would contribute to air pollution. Dang, it sure is hard to spend other peoples' money.

They should invent a car that runs on money. Instead of gasoline or diesel or alcohol or whatever, you insert cash (or credit card). People would be bragging about how many miles their vehicle gets to the dollar.

Anonymous said...

Next months headline.

Oil companies demand bailout money because of low price of oil?