Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my cherished chestnuts! How are you? Did any of you go to the Christmas Parade in downtown Racine last Saturday? I heard it was wonderful. I so wanted to make an appearance, but I closed my eyes for just a few moments to take a catnap, and then awoke hours later. I’ve been so busy boosting supplies for the holiday rush that I tend to overwork. I stress out at this time of year. I don’t sleep enough or eat properly and get whacked out of shape. It’s important for all of us to remember what the holidays are for and why we celebrate them. Slow down and enjoy them, for soon they will be gone.

I also wanted to make an appearance at the JTI Bowling Bonanza and Demolition Derby last week, but I received a call that I could not ignore: one of my best clients had an emergency need to speak with her departed husband about an important business matter. I rushed to her side and we contacted her beloved “William,” who channeled the appropriate advice to her through me. If only President Obama knew how much influence the dead have on our economy, he might send a little stimulus to those of us who act on their behalf. Hmmm, maybe I should contact him… I am so sorry to have disappointed you, my dear Irregulars. Please forgive me. I was on a mission of financial mercy.

Hooray for our Packers in their win over the Cowboys! I must admit to a tad of a crush on Tony Romo, local boy made good. He has great moves on the field and off, and one of his best was dumping that trashy Simpson girl. Nonetheless, our Packers contained and detained him, sacked and wracked him. If only they had done the same to Mr. Favre a couple of weeks earlier. No, Ms. kk, I haven’t heard from him yet, but when (or if) I do, I’ll let him know that you’re interested. ;)

There were no yards gained, no yards lost, no penalties, and no personal fouls in this week’s email.

I thought a little public service announcement might be in order in light of the Thanksgiving holiday next week and the growing popularity of deep frying turkeys. (Mmm.)



The gentleman below uses the Archimedes principle in his expert approach:



You know, there’s nothing wrong with the traditional method of roasting turkey, either. For that matter, it doesn’t even have to be turkey. Whatever you want to share with family and/or friends to give thanks for what you have is fine. What’s important is saying thank you. We should say it to each other more.

So, thank you very much for stopping by to read my blog. I enjoy sharing with others and hope you enjoy what I have to share. Stay warm, my dear Irregulars, and watch out for the nasty flu bug.

Send your favorite recipes and secret desires to madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Ipana!

5 comments:

OrbsCorbs said...

We were discussing what excuse you would come up with this time, Madame Z, for jilting us. Some of the Irregulars are beginning to think that you don't really like us.

kkdither said...

The weather really is a questionable excuse... Solving financial problems in this economy is a little more believable.

If you can get the government to come up with some stimulus funds and the coffers of the JTI benefit, we will certainly forgive your absence.

Anonymous said...

Mr. OrbsCorbs, that is a terrible thing to say. The Irregulars are my family. I love all of you.

I am so sorry that events have conspired to prevent my attendance at previous get-togethers. Please forgive me.

Beejay said...

Now, Orbs, we don't want Mme Zoltar to spread herself too thin; there could be dire consequences for one and all!!!!

OrbsCorbs said...

Beejay is right. I apologize, Madame Zoltar, for questioning your loyalty. Please don't shrink anything again, OK?