A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence,
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on Little Vito.
He replies, "None. They will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."
Then, Little Vito says, "I have a question for YOU. There are
three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied,
"Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Vito replied, "The correct answer is 'the one
with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
LITTLE VITO ON MATH
Little Vito returns from school, and he says he got an "F" in arithmetic
"Why?" asks Little Vito's father?
"The teacher asked me: 'How much is 2x3'? I said '6," replies Little Vito.
"But that's right!" says Little Vito's Dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me: "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks Little Vito's father.
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE VITO ON ENGLISH
Little Vito goes to school, and the teacher says,
"Today, we are going to learn multi-syllable words, Class.
Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable ! word?"
Little Vito says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Little Vito, that's a mouthful."
Little Vito says, "No, Miss Rogers. You're thinking of a blow-job."