Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my prized petunias! How are you? As we approach mid-September, we’re still getting a lot of warm days, but you can tell that Mother Nature’s heart isn’t in it. Most of the evenings are cool, and more and more trees are starting to turn color and/or drop leaves. The bracing air of autumn will be upon us soon. Enjoy the show.

Don't forget that this Friday and Saturday, Sept. 16 & 17, Great Lakes Brew Fest takes place at the Racine Zoo: http://www.greatlakesbrewfest.com/main.html Also this weekend, Fall Harvest Days take place at the Racine County Fairgrounds: http://www.fallharvestdays.com/fhds.html

Of course our exalted Green Bay Packers reigned triumphant over the New Orleans Saints last week. It was a very thrilling, back and forth game, but there was never any doubt in my mind as to the outcome. Madame Zoltar sees all. This coming Sunday our distinguished and most honorable Packers meet the Carolina Panthers. (Excuse me, but are they really a team? Really? Gee, I don’t remember them…) Our titans from Green Bay will declaw and defang the Panthers promptly. They will make nice house pets. Meow.

Speaking of being catty, have you heard the latest news out of Hollywood? Good, me neither. Meow, meow.

Honestly, the news from everywhere seems depressing. I suggest a case of my Blues-B-Gon elixir and a funny movie or videos, like the short clip below, which should serve as a warning to all amateurs trying to perform magic tricks without the proper training:



Oh my. I hope that young man was OK. Now remember, there are good reasons why you shouldn’t try magic unsupervised at home. Knocking over an entertainment center onto your little brother is hardly the worst thing that could happen. What if you unintentionally opened a portal into another dimension, or accidentally turned a family member into a frog? Then what? If you want me to undo the damage, it’s going to cost you, and big. It’s much better not to dabble in the dark arts in the first place. If you’re interested in such things, hire a guide or a teacher, like me. My rates are very reasonable and are on a sliding scale for those on a limited income. You can contact me anytime at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you for reading my blog today, my lovely Irregulars and regulars. It’s wonderful of you to take time from your busy day for me. Thank you, again. I’d like to say that "we are strangers but once,” but the fact is that with the Irregulars, things get stranger all of the time.

[Confidential to Ms. Why Not?: Relax, you and the girls will have a smooth trip home.]

Enjoy the bucolic days of mid-September. Summer lays recent and warm in memory, winter is still but a dream. It’s a lovely time of year. Go, Pack, go! Repristinate!

8 comments:

SER said...

Oh man, I think the kid got squished into the carpet. So much for an allowance for next 10 years.

jedwis said...

Mme Z...I need to borrow a dictionary. Not too much going on up there for me.

Anonymous said...

Mdme Z,

How about using some or your hocus pocus...I mean charm... to get rid of that stinkin' smoke coming from Minnesota?

Anonymous said...

Just watched the video....HOLY SH*T!!!

Toad said...

That's something I was capable of when I was that age.

kkdither said...

Anyone who can effortlessly and effectively throw the word bucolic into a sentence is a friend of mine. Thank you, Madame, for the informative lesson in magic... and, as always, a terrific blog!

Mary said...

Talk about two kids in a lot of trouble.
Madame, as always you make the middle of the week a ray of sunshine.

Anonymous said...

Thank you all, my dears, for the kind comments. Mr. logjam, I would love to clear the smoke, but I believe that most of the hot air emanates from City Hall. Oh my.