Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my New Year babes! How are you? It’s been nippy the last few days, but there’s still no significant amount of snow on the ground. Hip Hip Hooray! Unfortunately, no snow cover in winter is bad for wildlife and the landscape. So, I suppose, we should hope for some snow, right? Oh dear, was that me just making the case for snow? Perhaps the hangover from New Year’s Eve hasn’t worn off completely yet.

Of course, you know that our gallant Green Bay Packers defeated the Detroit Lions this past Sunday. And Mr. Matt Flynn did some remarkable things while Mr. Aaron Rodgers rested on the sideline. Huzzah, huzzah, we are rich with talent. Our extraordinary Packers have won themselves a bye this weekend, so the game to watch is Saturday night’s match up between the Lions and the New Orleans Saints. The winner of that game will meet our green & gold on January 15 for the divisional title. I don’t care who wins, because the poor fellows will have to meet our monsters of the midway the following week. You call that winning?

I know this is the time of year when many people make predictions about the year to come, but I usually refrain from such things. Pay as you go, pay for what you want to know. In any case, I’m particularly glad that I’m not involved in any of that 2012 nonsense. I happen to know for a fact that the world does not come to an end this year. That’s next year. Tee-hee! Of course, I’m fooling. It’s the year after that. No, stop me. I can’t help myself.

I don’t dabble in mass predictions because humans really can’t handle the truth. We are better off not knowing the future of the universe. For those so gifted, however, we should also take advantage of our innate psychic abilities to help others on a personal and economic level. Thus I offer my services to the world. Discounts may apply and you know I will always help a fellow Irregular free of charge. Rates vary for others. Contact me for estimates: Contact me within the next 30 minutes and I’ll throw in a free personal reading.

Thank you so much for reading my blog, dears. You have no idea how much I prize our friendship. I cherish every moment you spend here. Time makes our relationship better, like fine wine.

Dress for the weather my friends. There’s not too many slippery spots out there now, but when they appear, be careful. None of us wants to take a tumble. The hospital doesn’t always have spare parts for irregulars. Septilateral!


jedwis said...

Hi Mme Z...A couple observations on my part...Correct me if I am wrong, but the Chi Bears were always known as the "Monsters of the Midway". Just saying. Maybe you can work out a deal for your services, 2 irregulars for the price of 1, you know double the offer like they do on infomercials. lol

jedwis said...

BTW Mme Z...sep·ti·lat·er·al   [sep-tuh-lat-er-uhl]
having seven sides.

Explain the logic here? I am playing Mr Spock.

Tender Heart Bear said...

Mme Z- I have confidence that the Packers will be in the Superbowl.

Also yes snow is a dirty word for me because I don't like it.

Jed- you are right about the Bears being called the Monsters of the Midway. That has always been what the team was called.

SER said...

MZ, ya know how gullible people are, maybe you should add signs to you sales saying, Repent Now the End is Near!”

Anonymous said...

No logic, Mr. jedwis. Remember Mr. Spock's sex life? Who wants logic?

My apologies for using the term 'monsters of the midway.' I know that it generally means the Chicago Bears. I thought it might be OK to refer to our monsters, but I was wrong. The Packers-Bears rivalry is too strong.

Yes, Mr. SER, if I ignored my principles, I could make a lot of money from the '2012' hysteria. Those poor suckers...