Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my toasty snow bunnies! How are you? I know you’re toasty because there is no snow and little cold outside. It certainly has been an unusual winter so far. To be honest, sometimes I feel a lot like I’m “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” A small voice in the back of my head keeps saying, “There’s going to be hell to pay for this. Mother Nature and Old Man Winter won’t allow this for long. It’s a trap.” We should enjoy it while we can. I know some golfers and other sports enthusiasts are out. I’ve seen a number of motorcycles. We should be aware that the unexpected can occur at any moment, especially in regard to the weather. Have fun, but don’t put your winter wardrobes away just yet, my dears.

On a sad note, my deepest condolences to Green Bay Packers offensive coordinator Mr. Joe Philbin and his family on the loss of their son. May you find the strength and courage that you need at this tragic time.

The Packers, of course, were on a bye last weekend. This Sunday, January 15, at 3:30 PM, in Lambeau Field, the Green Bay Packers, NFC North Division Champions, face the New York Giants, NFC East Division Champions. It will rock ‘n’ roll, but I predict that the Packers will sing the final tune.

I received an email from our esteemed and noble fellow Irregular, Mr. SER. His missive was entitled “Big Foot - Sasquatch????” and appeared thusly,

“Ever since I was 10 or younger people have been searching for Big Foot!

“To date no one has ever captured such an animal or creature. There have been many programs on TV where people, teams, clubs have been on the hunt.

“I personally do not believe they exist.

“Madame Zoltar, what are your thoughts on this subject and do you believe they are real?


Thank you, Mr. SER, for contacting me on such an important matter. Despite your misgivings, Bigfoot does indeed exist. In fact, I know three personally. One young single guy, Lemoth, and a slightly older couple, Satisan and Rozen. They certainly do believe, and know, about us.

For everyone’s sake, especially their own, the Bigfoot have decided to avoid as much human contact as possible. They don’t want to appear snobbish, but, for one thing, they find our odor very offensive. Satisan says he knows of no other smell so foul on earth. Oh my.

Please understand, the Bigfoot are intelligent beings. They have chosen to avoid us. I believe it would be best if we just ignored them and went about our own business. In fact, they are behind many of the Bigfoot hoaxes that are exposed. That’s right. Any false evidence they can leave behind just further proves the point that there is no such thing as Bigfoot. That is exactly what they want us to believe. And I agree with them. Most of aren’t ready for Bigfoot yet. We are too savage.

Oh dear, I can ramble on once I get started. Thank you again, Mr. SER, for your astute question. And thank you everyone else for reading my blog this week. I love you all for stopping by. The pleasure has been all mine.

How do you spell relief?

Keep an eye on the weather, kids. I don’t want to be a pessimist, but if it doesn’t become winter pretty soon, I’m going to spend all spring and summer worrying about when and how we’ll pay for this. Don’t let your guard down. Nor anything else, for that matter. Vaticinate!


SER said...

Thank you much for your response; and I love the picture!!!

I am impressed that you personally know some. When I think of Wisconsin deer hunting season, there are around 350,000 hunters in the woods you would kinda think someone would see something, but then again it is possible none reside in the state.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend in the City of Racine who, on a late night trip to Whitewater (sober) in the 80's swears he saw the Delavan Devil!

It wasn't quite like Bigfoot because it had a pointy snout, like the beast that was seen in Holy Hill and had grabbed the dead Deer out of the back of a truck.

When I was in Fairchild WI I kept my eyes open for the Big Guy - there are a few reports of Him being sighted up there.

Herre is a great place to go for Bigfoot sightings.

jedwis said...

Mme Z...Want some of my beef jerky?

jedwis said...

I had to look up the definition of the definition of vaticinate to understand what it meant...That can't be a good thing. lol

kkdither said...

Well... now that we know Bigfoot does exist, we now need to know if Ronald McDonald is real.

Looks like our bare ground will be ending tomorrow. Just as we speak of the abnormality of the season, Mom Nature will rear her ugly head. I walked out of work without a coat and enjoyed the last of what might be our warm stretch. Make sure you all have your snow gear...(scrapers, gloves, shovels) ready, and watch out for the drive home from work.