Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my boys and girls of summer!  How are you?  Up and down, up and down, up and down.  Know what that is?  A rollercoaster?  The stock market?  The bobbing heads of our City Councilmen?  No, it’s our temperatures.  We go from summer to hot summer to blazing hot summer, then down and over and over again.  The rain last week was very welcome, and so is the rain we’ve had recently.  I think Ms. Mina blowing the clouds our way is what did the trick.  Thank you, Ms. Mina, for your help.    

Speaking of tricks, have you heard about the latest scandal from City Hall?  No?  Good, neither have I.  I’m sick and tired of that dirty business.  I am also embarrassed by it.  Let’s stop it completely, please, ladies and gentlemen of the ruling class.  The people of Racine are better people than you and they deserve better than your scams.

I feel compelled to comment on the Colorado movie theater shootings, primarily to convey my deepest sympathies to the victims and their families.  Another horrifying shooting.  I saw the video of the suspect in court with red-orange hair and a dazed look in his eyes.  All I can do is shake my head in wonder.  These shooting rampages are becoming far too frequent.  Certain Madame Zoltar® brand potions can be used to treat these individuals, but we need to reach them before they go off, shooting everyone in sight.  That is where my predictive abilities could come into play if it were not for the skepticism of most law enforcement officials.  Bah.

I’d also like to plug two new (to me) news sources for the Racine area: Caledonia Patch (http://caledonia.patch.com/) and Mount Pleasant - Sturtevant Patch (http://mountpleasant.patch.com/).  Now that you-know-who is charging for access, it’s nice to have some more local news sites available, especially for free.  There’s even an Oak Creek Patch (http://oakcreek.patch.com/).  “Get patched in.” 

Salmon-A-Rama has ended, but the Racine County Fair (www.racinecountyfair.com) continues through this Sunday.  There’s always something to do in Racine in the summer (and I don’t mean drink).  Besides local newspapers and news sites, the Racine Public Library (http://www.racinelib.lib.wi.us/) is a good source of information.  Stop by and check out all the flyers and posters on community events.  You might even borrow a book.

Oh my, I just had a thought about a book.  How about reprinting my blogs and calling them “The Collected Wit and Wisdom of Madame Zoltar.”  Then I’d have to go on a national book promotion tour.  Oh my, oh my, I don’t have the time for that. So much for being a famous writer.

Thank you, one and all, for stopping by my blog today.  Thank you for reading and thank you for commenting.  Our JTI family knows no boundaries. 

Want to contact someone from your past, or your future?  Madame Zoltar knows the way: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy summer, my dears.  Have fun, fun, fun.  In six months we’ll be complaining about the cold, maybe.  Do your civic duty by having parties and inviting visitors from out of town.  Make them spend a lot of money here.  A whole, real lot.  I love you all.  Uberous!

4 comments:

TSE said...

Problem solved with sites that monitor your IP - or to surf anonymously!

NUIP

Hit "SURF NOW" and a new window opens with Google Search! Fool the local shopper and get it for free!

OKIE said...

As always thanks for the wonderful post Madame.

OrbsCorbs said...

Mme. Z, you should write your autobiography. That would be a best seller.

kkdither said...

Ah, madame, the places you've been, the faces you've seen.... I find "the patch" to be very slanted, very controversial. If the JT got me riled up, the patch can really get me going.