Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my midsummer night’s dreams!  How are you?  The drought has made me near delirious.  I’ve envisioned a marvelous machine for Racine: a huge water sprinkler atop the Courthouse.  It could be set to water only portions of the city at a time, or all of it in each sweep.  That should take care of any excess capacity at the Water Dept., plus provide the city with much needed precipitation.  Once again, my dear Racinians, I offer you my idea for free.  Take it, run with it, and become known as Sprinkler City, or continue the current decay.  The sprinkler could be lit at night for effects.  Sell the naming rights to offset costs.  Maybe put it atop Monument Square rather than the Courthouse.  Go, sprinkler!

If that doesn’t work, there is this:


Finally, we could build an ark and gather animal pairs.  That started some rain the last time around.

I feel it necessary to comment on the Racine Common Council’s recent decision to color the roof of Festival Hall copper.  My comment is, “No.”  Sell the naming rights to Festival Hall and/or sell advertising space on the hall’s roof.  There, problem solved and some revenue generated.  Perhaps I should run for mayor.  It’s not that hard when you aren’t playing favorites.  “Madame Zoltar: Bringing You Tomorrow’s Bureaucracy Today” “Madame Zoltar’s Ten Year Plan: I Already Know What Happens”  “Madame Zoltar: I Won’t Sue You” 

Thank you so much, my dears, for reading my blog today.  It’s our weekly chance to touch base.  I enjoy giving some small measure of delight to my audience.  You are my raison d'être.

Want to know a secret? madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy the warm days of summer, my butterflies.  You know the routine: stay hydrated, wear sun block, wear a hat.  The days grow imperceptibly shorter.  Enjoy, enjoy.  Kalokagathia!

4 comments:

jedwis said...

Mme Z...I'd vote for you, several times in fact.

BTW...if your are going to build an ark, I Noah guy. Is it still funny the second time around?

kkdither said...

Truth be told? When the sky darkened the other day, I did a makeshift raindance. Didn't work. Must not have been feathered enough. lol. Lawn update: beautiful, but tiny seedlings struggling. grrrr.

As long as we're installing this sprinkling system, can we also build a dome over the city so that winter isn't so harsh? Gotta plan ahead.

Yes jed, still funny, but "urine trouble" still has it beat.

SER said...

I danced my ass off and could not make it rain, Madame Z, how about if you put in your good word and this winder gives us at least 8 to 10 feet of snow. We really need the moisture in the ground.

OrbsCorbs said...

I like the large sprinkler idea. That would get us and our water national recognition.