Thursday, October 18, 2012

Spread the Stupidity

Only in This Stupid World do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the Store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 

Only in This Stupid World do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in This Stupid World do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in This Stupid World do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in This Stupid World do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in This Stupid World do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER

Why don't you ever see the Headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of Day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there Mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the Needle for lethal injections?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called Apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

8 comments:

OrbsCorbs said...

Oh my, the ponderisms. I know Mme. Z doesn't play the lottery because she says it would be unethical.

OKIE said...

Why are Oklahoma City's two airports named after men who died in plane crashes? Will Rogers & Wiley Post.

legal stranger said...

"Stupid is as stupid does"
Mme.Z could donate the winnings to the JTIrr's.

OrbsCorbs said...

"This Stupid World" is one of my favorite subjects. Is there any way to gauge the IQ of a given city? I bet Racine would score below average.

Hey, legal, you should know about this. About fifteen years ago a guy I know was managing an auto parts store in Florida. He told me that they had a product return rate of 30%; i.e., almost a third of their products were returned as defective/junk. He said that was normal. I couldn't believe it. He told me this as he gave me a ride to Auto Zone to return the second defective starter they had sold me. The third one worked. Only in This Stupid World would that be an acceptable figure.

OrbsCorbs said...

Oh, the guy was on vacation back here in his hometown, I wasn't in Florida.

Anonymous said...

The ends do not justify the means, Mr. legal stranger, but I think you know that.

jedwis said...

Hey that is my material!!!lol

legal stranger said...

Orbs, many auto parts chains have defective rates that vary at locations. Product lines will also vary by store locations. The do it yourself market lacks diagnostic equipment to properly evaluate the problem. Most repair shops and dealers may have the proper diagnostic equipment, but not the training and discipline of the employee. Of the thousands of repair shops I have visited, only a select few would get my car.
Mdme Z, share the knowledge