Hello, my frosty friends.
How are you? I actually saw a few
snowflakes in the air on Monday evening.
It begins innocently enough. A
flake here, a flake there, until you have a light dusting. No big deal.
But it escalates from there.
Within a month, you’re removing 10 inches of snow from your sidewalk and
trying to drive to work in a blizzard. I
suggest that we protest snow. Maybe if
enough of us walk around holding signs and chanting, “No, no, no more snow!”
then Mother Nature would listen to us. Ha, fat chance. She’s on drugs or having a mental
breakdown. Nothing that Mother Nature
does makes sense anymore.
Don’t forget, this Sunday, November 18, the Green Bay
Packers meet the Detroit Lions in Ford Field at noon. Our astounding and breathtaking Packers are
coming off of a bye week. Let’s hope
that they are rested up, but not rusted up.
No matter, we can expect the fabulous and fantastic Packers to tame the
Lions handily.
I want to state publicly that Madame Zoltar is against
closing Fire Station Number 5 in Racine. The recent tragedy wherein three children
were killed by a fire reinforces my conviction regarding Racine’s
public safety. We must not let Mr. Mayor
Dickert shut down a fire station, take down streetlights, and close down
community centers. Enough basic services
have been cut enough. This is so
difficult to witness while Mr. Mayor spends millions of our dollars on people
and private projects that he prefers. It
is sickening.
I received an email from the preposterous Mr. OrbsCorbs. It’s always nice to hear from him. He wrote:
Dear Madame Zoltar,
Is there anything more that you can do for an
extraordinarily long run of extraordinarily bad luck? We’ve discussed this before. You’ve made some suggestions and worked your
magic, to no avail.
It’s a curse. We’ve
discussed that, too. Who could hate me
enough to put such an effective curse on me?
Gee, I wonder. Well, if too many
things go wrong too many times for too much longer, I may snap. In fact, I may have already snapped. How would I know? When you’re crazy, you think you’re sane,
right?
Please help me, Madame Zoltar.
Love and kisses,
OrbsCorbs
Dear Mr. OrbsCorbs, thank you for getting in touch with
me. I’m so sorry that my previous
efforts on your behalf have been less than successful. Oh my.
If things are still going that badly, then this can only be a blood
curse, probably put on you by my ex-husband or a member of his family. They don’t care who or what they destroy,
they just want the moola. I don’t know
of anyone else in the area with that much power. If they’ve conspired with one of your
enemies, this could be very difficult to resolve. I promise to attend to it immediately.
Oh, and you’re as sane as I am.
Thank you, my dears and dear nots, for stopping by to read
my blog. I feel the love and love the
feeling. You are all my best
friends.
Curse or karma? Find
out: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Have a wonderful week, everyone. Thanksgiving approaches
rapidly as the holiday season hits its stride.
It’s a glorious time of year. Jactitation!
Posts
3 comments:
Thanks for the reassurances, Mme. Z.
Orbs, I suggest you not anger the Zoltar side any further by publicly signing your correspondence with love and kisses. Maybe there is some jealousy in the works? There had been rumor about your relationship on the streets before Mme. Z. and El Senor became an "item." I worry about Senor Z., too ... ex-husbands can wreak havoc, especially when they have skills.
Madame, I'd like to see you look into the future and see if you can give us any foresight on the political climate in the years ahead. Will we ever become more united, or will the ugliness continue to separate us further.
The only way I see our country becoming untied again is through the legalization of marijuana. If everyone is stoned, everyone is happy. Otherwise, it looks like ugliness on top of more ugliness.
Ms. kk, you are correct about some ex-husbands. I think that Señor Zanza can stand his own ground against my ex and his family, but Mr. OrbsCorbs doesn't have a chance.
Post a Comment