Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, Santa’s helpers! How are you?  Merry Christmas!  Rejoice, rejoice!  I hope that Santa brought you everything that you wanted.  I hope everyone has thermal underwear.  Santa must have one heck of a heater in that sleigh to stay comfortable in these temperatures. 

Winter started strong this year and has remained so thus far.  I encourage everyone to dress properly for the weather.  We all know the mantra: layers.  Wear layers of clothing and put a hat on your head.  Drinking alcohol will give you the illusion of warmth, but in reality it takes heat away from your body core.  When it’s very cold out there, stay home if you can.

As everyone in the civilized world now knows, our stupendous Green Bay Packers lost last Sunday.  That was entirely their effort, and it wasn’t enough.  Thankfully the Chicago Bears also lost.  They might have had a little help with that.  Ahem.  This Sunday, our phenomenal Packers face those same Bears, at Soldier Field, for the NFC North Division title.  The Packers-Bears rivalry has never been stronger.  We must beat our archenemy on his turf.  May the force (and a few other things) be with you, Packers!

The Irregular Football League’s season has ended with Mr. Hale-Bopp’s Half-Astrophysicists in first place and my Screaming Psychics in second.  The rest in order are:  Racine Irregulars, third; Fighting Mongrels, fourth; Orbliterators, fifth; and The Mighty Bears, sixth.  Congratulations to everyone who played.  Hip-hip-hooray for us!

I hope that you’re enjoying all of the love of the holidays and feeling none of the stress.  This can be a very difficult time of year for a lot of different people for a lot of different reasons.  Reality may pale in comparison to expectations.  Memories of Christmases past may haunt.  Even the short, overcast days contribute to the problem.  If you suffer from depression or distress during the holidays, be assured that you’re not alone.  There are many like us.  Talk to your pastor or spiritual leader about it.  Or seek help from a social services agency.  Or from your doctor.  “A problem shared is a problem halved.”

While I lolled in Cancun last week, Junior and Señor Zanza finally decorated the outside of our home.  When I fist saw it, I thought, “It looks like a drunken idiot did it.”   I later learned that Señor Zanza was drunk when they did it.  And I suspect Junior was taking sips of Señor Zanza’s beer when he wasn’t looking.  Well, it’s the thought that counts.  They meant well, even as our home has been attracting UFOs ever since.

Did anyone get something very special for Christmas?  Would you like to share with us about it?   Señor Zanza gave me a ring.  (No, not an engagement ring.)  It’s a beautiful ruby which his mother once wore.  It’s breathtaking.  Thank you, my sweet Señor.

Thank you, reader, for dropping by to check out my blog.  May the blessings of this season be multiplied in your life and in your heart.

Enjoy the holiday.  If you’re off from work, enjoy the break.  Take it slow and steady on winter streets and roads.  If you’re drinking, let someone else drive.  Telestich!            


SER said...

Go out and get drunk on your ass and remember to have a designated driver so you can ride and text dumb ass messages on your cellphone.

Merry Christmas Everyone

and GO PACKERS....

kkdither said...

There are wrapped presents under the tree, and soon there will be people to share them with. I still have a bunch more things to do, including cooking and cleaning. Ill try not to get too stressed. It is the fun that people remember, not the dust.

Madame, another lovely blog! I so enjoy them. I wish you peace and happiness throught these few days. Remember how important you are to us, and the love from all your Irregular family. P.s. be very cautious... some of those old family jewelry pieces come with past charms and history!

OKIE said...

Merry Christmas Madame. May Sugar Plum Fairies light your way and bring joy and happiness to you and yours.

Anonymous said...

What Child is This?

I thought it was, Whose Child is This?

The Maury Povich Show- "In The Case Of Baby Jesus"

Adult language and situations warnings. Not recommended for those who are sensitive or who practice accepted Western religions.

Happy Winter Solstice!

Anonymous said...

IN other Good News, The Daily Mail reports that virgin births are on the rise.

Nearly 1% of women believe they have had a 'virgin birth'

* Researchers interviewed 7,870 women aged 15 to 28 and found 0.5% of them who said they were virgins had also given birth - without the help of IVF.

* The average age at which virgins gave birth was 19.3 years.