Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my fascinating friends!  How are you?  The sun was actually out a few times in the past week.  Goodness gracious, it was quite a sight to see.  Some snow melted and I even drove with the car window open.  Of course, we soon got more snow, then the deep freeze, rinse, repeat.  Everybody’s running out of salt for the streets and highways.  Here’s a suggestion: Spread potato chips and pretzels and other salty snacks on the roads.  The salt will melt the snow and the crunched snacks will improve traction.

Another snowstorm is bearing down on Racine and should be here by the time you read this.  Here we go again.  Snow, snow, snow, then the deep, deep freeze.  Doesn’t Old Man Winter know any other song?  Or is it the Weather Witches?

I have an announcement and an offer to make.  I’ve decided to make my blogs available to the if they want to post them.  They can put them in the print edition of the paper, too, if they so desire.   I make these available for a nominal fee. 

Journal Times, adding my blog to your site will result in a move personable, dare I say it, more positive online atmosphere.  It’s a scientific fact that people smile when they see me.  They even smile when they see my avatar online.  What’s it worth to make every customer smile?  You let me know, Journal Times.  My email address is below.  Happy readers make for happy advertisers.

I’d like to publicly address Mr. Justin Bieber, but he’d never know about it.  What I really want to do is bend him over my knee and wail on his posterior a few times.  Such a spoiled brat.  When you start abusing other people and their property, I think it’s time for the joyride to come to an end.  I give his last appearance in court -5 stars.  I hope they put him away for awhile, before someone does it for them.

I’d also like to address the Internal Revenue Service over their refusal to allow my travel expenses for places that I’ve astral projected to.  I’d like to, but I won’t.  I’m no dummy.

Thank you for stopping by my blog this week.  I love visitors.  We each bring a flavor to the communal pot.

When will you have your day in court?  Find out:

Be careful, dears, though I believe you already are.  You don’t get this far into winter without major trauma by not being careful.  I love you all and I love Sol, our sun.  Enjoy your week.  Fefnicute!


BL Basketcase said...

I have some Pork rinds ..... But I think the grease
Will make the roads more slick . It is getting to the point where we should use softener salt or salt licks out there.
If we haven't any of these try throwing bags of sugar
That will trick people into thinking there is salt but it will become gummy and may still work.

I would like to see you have a column in the Journal Times.

Thanks again for you updates MZ!

Anonymous said...

Mmde Zoltar,
Will it ever stop snowing?
Will we ever see green grass again?
Will the birds return?
Or are we destined to live in the winter wonderland of Wisconsin forever?
Please Mmde. Zoltar, give us encouraging news.

Anonymous said...

No amount of money is worth lowering yourself to JT standards. Stay smart, stay independent, and thanks for your weekly wisdom.

kkdither said...

Anon #2 is right on the money. You are so far above them. Do not soil yourself. Besides, they've never been interested in printing the truth.

SER said...

Madame Z, I agree with Anon #2 and KK.

is it an income thing, can you do a couple of test weeks and see how it works out?

Best of luck if you.

Ole Mother Nature sure has been being a bitch and I'm afraid she isn't going to listen to anyone and put an end to this crap weather.

Anonymous said...

To, Anon #1 and Anon #2

Your Bipolar brain is in need of repair, please report to the assimilation booth immediately.


BL Basketcase said...

They are one in the same people

Anonymous said...

BLB, Has the Florida sun has gotten to you? Or perhaps dehydrated?
Only the SHADOW knows.

Anonymous said...

I’d also like to address the Internal Revenue Service over their refusal to allow my travel expenses for places that I’ve astral projected to. I’d like to, but I won’t. I’m no dummy.

It wouldn't be a problem - if you were a non-taxpayer.

Super Scam

The book gives a detailed explanation of our Constitution’s taxing limitations, including the Sixteenth Amendment. Key sections of the Internal Revenue Code and the Constitution show that the Code does not impose an income tax on the earnings or other receipts of U.S. citizens. The deceptive wording in the Internal Revenue Code which leads the public to incorrectly believe that the taxing provisions of the law apply to them is revealed. Book shows how every American citizen can legally stop both withholding and paying income tax they don’t owe and give themselves an immediate pay increase!

As opposed to SCAM-O-RAMA Racine!

Season Of The Witch

legal stranger said...

Senor Head,
This indeed is the Season of the Witch.
The Weather Witch has been at it all winter long.
Even Old Man Winter doesn't stand a chance against her powers.
Anons are a busy group today.
Stay warm irregulars, the weather indeed is frightful.

OrbsCorbs said...

Thank you, Mme. Z, for being here for us. I could never be as wise and centered as you. You're one of my heroes.

Anonymous said...

Why does Legal frequent Salem if he cares not for witches?

Anonymous said...

Be careful, dears, though I believe you already are. You don’t get this far into winter without major trauma by not being careful. I love you all and I love Sol, our sun. Enjoy your week. Fefnicute!

WTF is Fefnicute?


MME Z. - Why are you talking about Tom Friedel?

Anonymous said...

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

No worries, my dears. The Journal Times made no offer. It's their loss.