Friday, February 14, 2014

When you are over sixty who gives a shit

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.  She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose  patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, “Yesterday."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

6 comments:

OrbsCorbs said...

That's one of the few benefits of getting older. I enjoy the freedom of not giving a damn how I look or what others think of me.

The rest of getting older is pretty much shit, though.

kkdither said...

I recognize this comedian. He is English, I believe? Great jokes!

BL Basketcase said...

These really made me laugh , everyday I give less of a damn too! Well on my way to being a crabby old lady!
Have plenty of role models around me!

SER said...

BLB...you can be a "crabby old lady", just be a 'classy' one!

BL Basketcase said...

I promise I will never urinate in public while being a mean
Old biddy! Hah!

OKIE said...

Makes me want to be 60. NOT! But I can start to practice.