Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my wonderful friends and lovers.  How are you? Have you been up and down, like the weather?  No, you’re not bipolar, but the weather is.  The atmosphere needs antipsychotic medication.  Maybe we could fly up and blow out a huge cloud of Seroquel over the state, or country, or world.  What the heck, we can’t screw up the atmosphere much more than it already is.  Maybe it would stabilize a bit.  They call some drugs antipsychotic, but many of them are also mood enhancers.  Blow up a Seroquel bomb in the air and make everyone content.  Or at least sleepy.

How are your gardens coming along?  I’ve put Señor Zanza and Junior in charge of the gardening this year, both vegetable and flower.  I’m getting a little too old to work all day and then work in the gardens while those two are home all day.  Get to work, boys!

Once North Beach opens, I won’t see Junior unless it rains out.  Maybe not even then.  He might stay with a friend or even in a tent.  He’s pretty good at letting me know what’s going on.  That’s because if he doesn’t stay in touch, he knows I’ll appear and embarrass him in front of his friends.  It’s bad enough to have your parent(s) show up, but dressed like a Gypsy queen?  That only had to happen one time for Junior, when I worried for hours where he was.  I finally had to teleport to where he was and give him the dickens in front of his friends.  I understand that hurt him, but he also remembers to check in with me.

Señor Zanza changes his behavior in the summer.  He likes to go out on one of the piers and stare into the water.  That’s right, he stares in, not at.  If you walk with him, he describes what he sees underwater.  I keep telling him to look for Captain Kidd’s lost fortune, but he ignores me.  I wonder if he’s part amphibian.

Did you hear that a giant waterslide may be coming to Racine?  This is important news locally.  Personally, don’t expect to see me or Señor Zanza on the slide, but I’ll bet Junior rides till he pukes.  Giant waterslides and backyard chickens.  Yep, the living is great here.  As long as you don’t scratch the surface too hard, the stink is almost tolerable.

Thank you, ladies and gentlepeoples, for reading my blog today.  I enjoy readers of all stripes. 

Before the Ghost Busters, try

I hope it warms up sooner rather than later.  I don’t want large electric bills because of the air conditioning, just a little warm up, please.  Don’t forget to look both ways before crossing the street on foot or in a car.  Have fun.  Spring, such as it is, is here.  I love you all.


OKIE said...

We are quite cool down here as well. I was just out replenishing the bird feeder and when I checked the temp, it was 50. What I would like Madame, is the sun to be out ALL DAY, not just once in a while.

As always thank you Madame.

OrbsCorbs said...

Thanks for the blog, Mme. Z.

lizardmom said...

if it would just stay warm after we get teased by it!
Smoked on the Water should be reopened for the season, can't wait to get down there and welcome Caleb back!