From Knuckledraggin My Life Away:
"Hey, you know me – if I find something that is a good deal, I share it
with you. But this shit? I could’ve spent the money on premium porn for
all the good it did me. No numbing sensation or nothin’ – all it did was
make my hands and dick greasy so you know where that led…..
"And CharlieGodammit [his dog's name] dry humped my leg for 3 days afterwards. Not the company’s legs, mine. That’s unforgivable right there.
"Yeah, I’m giving this product 0 stars as it was advertised, but 3 stars
for being a mild aphrodisiac and I’m taking those away as a penalty for
the fucking dog jizz everywhere".