Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my thawing friends.  How are you?  Are you enjoying the sudden spike in temperatures?  It's supposed to happen again this weekend.  Give it enough time and enough warm days, and buds will break.  For the landscape's sake, we need more snow and cold.  This is April weather.  It's really creepy.  It gets creepier every year.  Don't tell me we haven't messed up the environment.

We better get going on a solution.  So far, political accord has not been reached because of rogue nations like China and North Vietnam.  They may "agree" to certain terms, but there will be no enforcement once the delegates have dispersed.  So cut them off completely from foreign aid.  No arguing, no haggling, no sabre rattling, just cut them off. I bet we'd see a drop in their emissions then.  I believe that we could use this tactic with many nations, particularly the ones that profess hatred for us.  You hate us and call us the devil, to be shot on sight.  But you accept the $50 million in aid from us "devils."  Cut them off, completely.  Watch how quickly things change.

The warm weather has compelled Señor Zanza to do some roof repairs, with Junior as his assistant.  We have an A-frame roof, so it's quite steep.  Mostly, Señor Zanza was replacing shingles.  The old fashioned way: with hammer and nails.  Junior was content to simply be the weight on the end of Señor Zanza's ladder.

At least Señor Zanza tries to teach Junior some skills.  So far, they haven't found anything that Junior is particularly skillful in  If only they paid you to eat junk food and watch girls all day long, Junior would be rich. For some reason, it seems very difficult for Junior to understand this notion.  When I ask him who is supposed to pay him for watching girls, he says, "Who cares?  I'm not picky."

No wonder that sometimes I feel like burying my head in a pile of junk food.  Ice cream, cheese balls, and chocolate are calling my name.  I hear them now . . .

No, I'll remain strong.  Stuffing my face is not a solution for my son's stuffing his face.  I've talked with him, many times, about weight gain and proper nutrition.  He always says, "Look who's talking."  The little (big) brat!  I hate it when they use the truth and logic against you.  "Do as I say, not as I do," I say.  Then he sticks his tongue out.  Brat, brat, brat!  Sometimes the load of being a single mother is more than I can bear.  That's when my JTI friends chime in with help and advice.  Thank the Lord for Señor Zanza and the JTI!

What do you thank the Lord for?  Tell

Be careful of the melting snow and ice that refreezes overnight.  I'm starting a movement to rename Black Ice to African American Ice.  Enjoy the ups and downs of the week to come.  I love you all!      


Tender Heart Bear said...

Madame I have the same problem with my kids like you do with Junior.

lizardmom said...

I'm thankful that I survived the day! 4 call ins, at least 2 of them are highly doubtful actual sick, then tend to call in if they're not scheduled a full shift... can't prove anything, tho, so the good keep trodding along while the slackers slack....... hi ho, hi ho.....

kkdither said...

Hello, all. The winds are blowing pretty good out there, but it looks like the "S-word" will miss us. I know we need the precipitation, but I'd rather have it in liquid form.

Madame, I think there is far too much emphasis on looking gaunt. If your weight is not to the point where it impacts health, curves are beautiful. Love yourself. We will all waste away to nothing in the end, anyway. Chocolate and Cheetos are my nemeses, as well. I can go for long times without, but then just start jonesing for them.