Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my voters and my non-voters!  How are you?  The weather continues to toy with us, or is it just the weather broadcasters?  Not too long ago, they were predicting up to 18" of snow for this area.  What we got: rain. It's insidious, and it happens over and over.  Soon, you learn to accept their incompetency.  It happens subconsciously.  You write it off when they predict cold rains and we get hot, dry winds instead.  Soon, you accept more and more abuse, and more and more excuses. 

I'm of the opinion that weather forecasters are insane and/or drunk.  They can spew perfect gibberish and still be highly paid.  My favorite weather forecaster was Albert the Alley Cat on Channel 6, especially when he was teamed up for a season with Mr. Tom Skilling.  It was obvious that Mr. Skilling was uncomfortable working with a cat puppet.  Sensing this, the cat's performer made it more and more difficult, and thus hilarious, for Mr. Skillet to interact with "Albert."  The following year, Mr. Skillet was on Chicago WGN 9, predicting the weather minus the puppet.  An era for potheads came to an end.

I received this rather strange email today:


I am trying to contact the poet Antler.  He submitted some poems for another project a few years ago, and I found one I'd like to reprint in the May issue of Quill and Parchment.

Poetically yours,
Sharmagne Leland-St. John
Quill and Parchment

Ease into the day with a poem:

Take a short break to hear some soothing music:

Do You Kindle?

Get a link back to your website or book sales site:

Planning a summer vacation? Need a writer’s retreat?

Butterfly Little Hawk <>

8:23 PM (5 hours ago)

to me

Why on God's green Earth are you asking me about Antler?  Here's what Wikipedia says:

In talking to people about this email, Mr. OrbsCorbs said he had heard Mr.. Antler read his poetry in Milwaukee many years ago.

That's all I know on the subject.  If Mr. Antler is missing or some such other conditions are involved, I can be hired as a consultant.  $40/hr., you pay for gas and my meals.  We can do this remotely, wherein I'll consult my crystal ball, or in person; either way, you pay, I stay, you won't, I don't.  Gee, I'm a poet.

They're already saying that Mr. Ted Cruz and Mr. Bernie Sanders are the winners of the Wisconsin presidential primary.  Hooray!  "Round and round she goes, where she'll stop, nobody knows."  Our country lurches from one extreme to the other like a drunken sailor.  Right down the middle.  That's where we are.  Politically polarized.  I weep for us.  It won't be pretty.

Who to vote for?  Ask

Thank you one and all for reading my blog today.  Let's hope that our country heals rather than gets ripped apart by the elections.  Hang onto your hat, pray, and wonder.


Tender Heart Bear said...

This weather is so crazy you do not know how to dress to go outside from day to day. I watch TMJ 4 for the weather and they are usually right about how it will be and when the storms are coming. I am just tired of having to weather layers of clothes just to go out.

Thank you Madame Z

kkdither said...

I think we are all weeping, Madame. Too much hate. Too much backstabbing, too much underhandedness. No responsibility for ones own actions. It even tore some away from the JTI. Where is tolerance for a differing opinion? Where is the kindness of others? Where is respect?

Soon we may need to grow "like" buttons, or evolve to provide cartoon-like emojis to interact with others.

Thank you for your blog, dear friend.

OrbsCorbs said...

Thank you, Mme. Z., for your blog. We love you.

lizardmom said...

the weather is crazy, people are crazy, just sad it can't be like the 'old days', people weren't so manipulative and near evil, so sad. The good must keep on keeping on, tho sometimes hard.
Madame, you know all, so of course you're our go-to gal for all, even strangers know of your wisdom :)