Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Dear Madame Zoltar
What the hell happened to all of the plow drivers this morning? I was out from 10 a.m to noon and never saw a government plow. Apparently, they're saving up for major snow removal tonight. I hope so. Some highways were impassable because of the drifting snow.
Clean up the roads, boys, and on Friday you get green beer. Please have a designated driver, and get shit faced. When I've been the designated driver, I don't even go into the place(s). I drop my friends off and tell them to call me when they're ready to go. I've never found it interesting to watch someone else get drunk. I'd rather go online and await the call in a few hours. I can nap, too. Whatever. St. Patrick's Day has become a big, hyped-up mess, like most of our holidays now. It certainly condones the consumption of alcohol, and lots of it. Just like most of our holidays. Most Wisconsinites don't need too much prodding to have a shot and a beer or two on any given day. No wonder our highway fatalities compare poorly with other states.
The liquor lobby in Wisconsin is huge and multifaceted. One way or another, you're going to pay. You can pay now while it's clean and easy, or wait until it's a mess. No matter what else happens this time of year, St. Paddy's is a great day for a cop to hustle and/or drink. Just don't push it. Let it unfold, instead. This Friday. Be there or be square. The best of the state vs. the best of the rebels Wow.
I'll bet you that my dad is working in a bookie joint. That's where this road leads. Want out? Contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Well, the JT Irregulars wish that the road may rise up to meet you as you fall on your drunken face.
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