Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sons and daughters of anarchy!  How are you?  Summer has arrived a week early around here: hot as hell and raining like crazy.  These are the perfect condition for your garden plants.  Unfortunately, they're also the perfect conditions for weeds.  We've had so much rain and more is in the forecast. Oh boy. The farmers must be using drones to plant their crops.  It's a muddy mess.  Did you know that some seeds have to pass through the stomach acids of birds before they become fertile.

As I write this, some members of a  Republican baseball team were shot this morning.  I  decry this cowardly act unless we get to take shots at the Democrats, too.  This is just further evidence of the decline of our society.  I knew they would start shooting elected officials, it was just a matter of when.  Look for shooters to go after bigger targets.  Mr. Trump, watch your ass.  You might wake up to terrorists in the White House soon.  They won't be impressed with your huffing and puffing.  Most of is aren't.

I was sorry to read that Mr. OrbsCorbs continues to have computer problems even after upgrading his operating system.  It just makes me that much more squeamish about updating my system.  I'll probably buy a new computer instead.  I'll just have to borrow a thousand dollars from Senor Zanza.  Ha-ha!  When hell freezes over.  When I die, I want them to bury my computer with me.  Or at least the hard drive.  I don't want any Zoltar secrets being made known.

Look at this:

Cats stuck on the top of a bank. I bet they're tunneling in. I hate Chase, dear kittens, so please destroy the place for me.  From the story:

"On Tuesday, El Segundo Animal Control and city fire department officials tried and failed to rescue three kittens that have been stranded on the roof of a Chase Bank for nearly two months.

"For weeks, volunteers from three separate animal rescue groups have been going at night to feed the kittens by tossing food up to the roof of the building, located on Sepulveda Boulevard in El Segundo.

"The bank, which is leasing the building, said the property manager has been denying roof access to everyone thus far due to liability concerns — except for fire department officials, who first responded Tuesday but were unable to locate the kittens"
O my,. are these cat burglars? Better get the cops after them, too. Meow.

I hope the week to come is grand for you.  It's going to be warm and wet, but that's wonderful compared to freezing temps and snow.  Go out and have a blast.
Contact Mme. Zoltar:

I love my readers, each and every one of you.  Be careful, but enjoy the freedom of the warmer temps.  Maybe we'll meet on the jogging track.  And maybe hell will freeze over.

1 comment:

jeff hayes said...

FIBS don't like responsible spending.
nuff said