Saturday, February 27, 2010

Whales perform for first time since death

Talk about a crazy headline, for a minute there I thought I smoke'in the wrong stuff?

Well actually they (the whales) are not dead, but there was an unfortunate accident where one of the trainers was killed.

Whales perform for first time since death

ORLANDO, Fla. - More than 2,000 people watched killer whales perform Saturday at SeaWorld for the first time since one of the orcas dragged a trainer to her death underwater in front of horrified spectators three days ago.


Whales perform for first time since death

Friday, February 26, 2010

"Feed the Kitty"

The policeman vs. kitty video reminded me of this.

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! I hope everybody is staying warm! This week's questions are about school.

1) Did you like school growing up?

2) What was your favorite subject?

3) Describe yourself in high school.

4) Did you go to college?

Have a good weekend folks!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I've been missing in action

Friends, I have been out of touch for over two weeks...my computer is disconnected and my office is in disarray...we are redoing the whole thing, creating havoc to a once disorganized mess. now the mess is intruding my bedroom, laundry-room and any other place I can stash my office goodies until such time as this project is completed.

The point of this blog, however, is that that commercial with the goofball telling you all how great AT&T and their wireless connection is full of beanie babies...I have been off-line more than on-line and now, somehow, this little computer has hooked into someone's wireless in the neighborhood...the hell with you, AT&T, I don't need you!!! I have some poor neighbor whose router is near enough to let me in the door...has to be some connection since the closet neighbor does not have internet service at all....

I should be back on line soon....and am buying one of those all in one touch screen 'puters....any input on those, guys?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Raw Video: Policeman Vs. Kitty

[No audio.]



"Watch as a patient police officer in Texas puts up with a friendly black cat clinging to him during a recent traffic stop. The ways of the affectionate feline were captured by the patrol car's dashcam."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_zRPWyATZw

When they're that friendly, I wonder if they're in heat.

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS

(Actual writings from hospital charts)

1 The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8 The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Unfortunately, Madame Zoltar has some sort of bug this week and is feeling under the weather. She hopes to return next week.

--The Sheriff

Update: 5:30 pm - I'm feeling a little better now after eating some chicken noodle soup and crackers. Whew! That virus is something. My sides hurt from heaving. Oh dear.

Anyway, Mr. SER sent in an email last week and I wanted to respond while it's timely. He wrote:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

I recently posted an article about the high speed train from Milwaukee to Madison. [http://www.jtirregulars.com/2010/02/state-approves-spenging-for-high-speed.html]

Here is my question to you:

In the near future, do you feel the state is going to add another tax to support this personal agenda of someone?

I am sure they can come up with some kind of crazy name to call it!

.........SER

Thank you, Mr. SER, for your query. Of course, you are right about the tax. Once the federal funds run out on this, the state will have to make up the difference. We are already committed to it, without even knowing what it will cost.

The new tax will be called the M&M tax, ostensibly after the Milwaukee and Madison destinations on the rail line. Some wags, however, will refer to it as the M&M tax because "it melts money out of your wallet, and into the government's hands."

Thank you for reading my abbreviated blog, my friends. And thank you for all the nice comments below regarding my health. I love each and every one of you.

Don't forget to send your home remedies to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

See you next week, in the pink of health, I hope. Gluteus Maximus!

--Madame Zoltar

Lucy Banned From Colorado Springs

Lucy the Slut that is, the lovable big busted puppet from Avenue Q. Avenue Q is playing there and they used a pic of Lucy on an ad on a bus shelter that was too much for this conservative town.

Lucy was philosophical as always: "When my public relations people told me that my cleavage was banned from the bus shelters of Colorado Springs, my first thought was: ‘they could fit my cleavage on a little bus shelter?!’ Then I was disappointed—I simply hoped to further beautify the community. However, given my notoriety as a profligate home-wrecker, I suppose all of the men of Colorado Springs might succumb to my generous charms. My bazooms are widely acknowledged as a threat to the traditional family structure."

Yeah, gay marriage is not nearly as big of a threat to heterosexual marriage as Lucy!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Solar Storm Watch Wants You

Citizen science is big in astronomy. Astronomers have lots of big data sets to analyze and computers can only do so much. Computers are good at crunching lots of numbers. Recognizing complex patterns can give computers some trouble but is something that a person with just a little training can get good at very quickly.

Astronomers have been taking advantage of this for several years with the Galaxy Zoo project where people help classify galaxies and hunt for supernova. These collaborations have resulted in quite a few papers being published in peer reviewed literature. These projects have amassed over 250,000 users and 55 million galaxy classifications!

Now comes the newest member of the family, Solar Storm Watch. In Solar Storm Watch, you look for storms in data from the STEREO mission. STEREO consists of two spacecraft, one ahead of the Earth in its orbit around the Sun and one trailing the Earth, to give us 3-D views of the Sun. You get to look at data from the STEREO spacecraft to detect solar storms and measure their speeds. Solar storms can effect us on Earth with effects ranging from the pretty but harmless (northern lights) to disrupting communications and, in rare cases, causing blackouts by overloading power grids.

Before you can analyze real date and contribute to the database, you do have to complete a short web based training to learn to identify solar storms. It took me less than 15 minutes to do. Basically you are shown a series of pictures and have to identify which ones have the storms. One neat thing is that they also show you how to identify comets, particle strikes on the detector, and optical artifacts (these skills are useful for analyzing any photographs, especially those that supposedly show UFOs!)

This is a great project for teachers to get their class involved with as well. The web site keeps track of the storms you spot and other achievements.

Just be careful...it can be addictive!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Tickle Cock Bridge is Back!

Apparentally, the Wakefiled District Council in England thought the name was inappropriate for some reason and wanted to erect (pun intended) a marker proclaiming it Tittle Cott Bridge. They underestimated the power of the masses, of the generations of young men and women that courted under Tickle Cock bridge and wanted those precious memories preserved by not changing its name.

Well, the fine men and women of Wakefield prevailed...they have their Tickle Cock Bridge...power to the people!

I stole this from another site

You will need to open two windows.

1. Open this:
http://www.rainymood.com/

2. Press play. [It started automatically for me.]

3. Open this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMnrl0tmd3k

4. Adjust sound as needed.

Now lean back with a nice glass of whiskey and enjoy.