Saturday, December 3, 2016

Friday, December 2, 2016

Four for Fridays!

Good morning everyone it is a cold morning outside. I hope if you are going out today that you bundle up and stay warm. Here are your questions for today.

1) Have you started your Christmas shopping?

2) Have started or are you done with decorating your house?

3) Do you still send out Christmas cards?

4) Do you see family and friends over the Holiday?

Have a great weekend.

Open Blog - Friday


Hot damn!

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my lovely ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between!  How are you?  I'm already done with the holidays, and the biggest one is yet to come.  Perhaps Señor Zanza will see fit to finance a holiday meal on Christmas.  If not, then I'm making some totally unrelated foods.  I'll call it my melting pot meal.  If you don't like it, move on.  There will be millions of turkeys being cooked.  And millions of hams.  Hmm.  Maybe I'll make roast beef for Christmas...

We've just had a blast of pleasant weather, but "they" say a temperature drop starts tonight.  We should see more rain and even some snow in the next couple of weeks.  "They" get paid, whether right or wrong.  I wish I had a job like that, where you get paid even if you're batting below 500.   Plus all the perquisites.  However, it's wrong to envy.  I started in childhood and never really stopped.  I've prayed over this thousands of time.  Still no results.

Here's the latest standings in the Irregular Football League:


How did I end up in 2nd to last place?  What kind of witchery is this?  I'll have a talk with my team and suggest that they try harder.  If not, heads will roll, literally.

Hurray!  The Green Bay Packers won one.  They defeated he Philadelphia Eagles, but they're still 5-6.  Beat the Houston Texans this Sunday, December 4, at noon, and their record will be tied.  You can do it, guys!  There's only five games left in the regular season.  Head for victory.  Blow by the Texans.  Onward, forward, and mush!  Show them the back of your hands and the heel of your boots.  Give 'em hell!

The holiday season has already taxed me out.  It wouldn't be bad if everyone believed in the Christmas Spirit.  But most people are in a rush to do holiday shopping, decorating, cooking, etc.  The only time I see the Christmas Spirit is when a family gathers for the holiday meal.  Otherwise, most of us are far too busy to even think of the Christmas Spirit.  We're a nation of liars, playing all that music and singing/talking about tradition and love when our only intention is to get through the mess as soon as possible.  That's the difference between Christmas and Xmas.  I hope you enjoy the season whatever your intentions are.  

It appears that Mr. President-Elect Donald Trump has toned down his rhetoric and is acting much more responsibly than he did during the presidential campaign.  I don't know if that was his plan all along: appeal to the baser instincts of the electorate to get elected, but then doing the job much more responsibly.  I hope so.  Our nation needs to heal.  Otherwise, I fear for our future.

Locally, Mr. Mayor Lying John continues to waste precious tax dollars on pie-in-the-sky real estate schemes.  He has lent out millions of our dollars to his cronies with nothing to show for it.  Taxpayers are repeatedly raped in Racine.  Until we stand up to the corruption in city government, it will just continue.  So far, it appears that nothing will be done about it.  Mr. Mayor Lying John will never be brought to justice.  It's so depressing.

Don't let my bad mood infect you.  Enjoy the holidays.  Why?  Because I love you.  I love all of my readers and wish you the best for the holidays. 

Looking for the truth? Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

During the holiday rush, don't forget to take time out for you.  Sit down with a cup of coffee and unwind.  Remember, you're the only one of you, so handle with care.  I love you all.

__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday


And I say Good Stuff!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

"Browsing the Ba-Ding! Boutique"

From Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 2 hours ago

 
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it’s now December and once again time to fling the doors open to Art’s Ba-ding! Boutique for those of you’s struck dumb by your Christmas shopping monetary obligations.
ABB is the shop that answers this question: Why not give everyone on your goddamn list the gift of laughter ’cause it’s a gift that won’t cost you a focking dime? You can then use those savings on a big ol’ bottle of holiday cheer all for yourself and drown your seasonal depression like a bag of cats over the bridge.

What follows are a couple, three items that may interest you. Feel free to stroll around the page and choose whatever catches your eye.

[holiday icon]

Three ministers and their wives, Presbyterian, Southern Baptist and Methodist, are on a cruise. They all come down with severe food poisoning and croak. The next thing they know, they’re standing before St. Peter at the gates.

First in line is the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shakes his head and says, “Sorry, can’t let you in. Yes, you were moral and upright, but you loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.” St. Peter waves his hand, and bingo! Down the chute to Hell they go.

Second is the Southern Baptist couple. St. Peter says, “Sad to say, can’t let you in either. Sure, you abstained from liquor, dancing and cards, but you loved food too much. You loved food so much, you even married a woman named Candy!” St. Pete waves again, and boom! Down the chute go the Southern Baptists.

The Methodist turns to his wife and whispers nervously, “Doesn’t look too good, ain’a Fanny?” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

This drunk at a nice holiday party asks the host, “Do you have green toilet paper that says ‘fock you’”? The host says, “‘Green toilet paper that says ‘fock you’? No, we don’t have that.” Drunk says, “Oh, sorry. Guess I must’ve wiped my ass with your parrot. Never mind.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

So this guy wakes up from surgery for a prostate this-or-that. Doctor enters the room to give the guy the report. Doctor says, “Well sir, I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news. The good news is that we were able to save your private parts.” Guy says, “That’s a relief, I tell you. So what’s the bad news?” Doctor says, “They’re under your pillow.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

A guy walks into a tavern and there’s a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy just stares at the horse, so the horse says, “Hey buddy, what’s the problem? You never seen a horse serving drinks before?” The guy replies, “No, it’s not that...it’s just that I never thought the parrot would sell this place.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

So this kid walks into his new classroom, and the teacher says, “Hello young man, and what is your name?” And the kid says, “Dickie Fockhower.” The teacher told him that she doesn’t allow that kind of language in her classroom. Dickie tells her again that his last name is really “Fockhower,” and that she can go ask his little brother in kindergarten to prove it. So the teacher tells her class to read chapter 4 while she goes to find Dickie’s little brother. She walks into a kindergarten class where the teacher had stepped out for a moment, and asks, “Hello, class. Is there a Fockhower in here?” One of the kids yells out, “Heck no! There’s not even a cookie break!” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

Hey! Over here in the Kids Section: Guy goes to the dentist. Dentist checks the guy’s mouth and says, “These are the worst teeth I’ve ever seen. Do you ever floss?” Guy says, “Flossing’s a big pain in the butt.” Dentist says, “Then obviously you’re doing it wrong.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

In Jerusalem, a TV journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had gone to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to the Wailing Wall to investigate and there he was. She watched him pray and when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

“I’m Rebecca Smith from FOCKS News. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?”

“Sixty years, I kid you not.”

“Sixty years. Incredible. And what is it you pray for?”

“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop. I pray that our children grow up in safety and friendship.”

“And how do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”

“Like I’m talking to a focking wall.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

Okey-dokey, time to close up shop. Hope you found something you liked, you cheap bastards, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.


Read more:  http://shepherdexpress.com/article-28833-browsing-the-ba-ding_-boutique.html

Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

Open Blog - Tuesday


What a cutie. I agree: Have a great day!

Friday, November 25, 2016

Four for Fridays!

I hope everyone has enjoyed their Thanksgiving and did not eat to much turkey. I am trying to recuperate from cooking dinner yesterday. Here are your questions for today

1) How was your Thanksgiving?

2) Did you get to spend Thanksgiving with family and friends?

3) How far did you have to drive to spend Thanksgiving with family and friends?

4) Are you going to do the Black Friday shopping?

I hope everyone has a great weekend 

Open Blog - Black Friday


Aren't you getting up at 4 AM to stand in a freezing line outside of a store?

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my dear friends and enemies!  How are you?  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. How did we get here so fast?  Last week we had temperatures in the 60's.  This week it's been in the 30's.  I guess it really doesn't matter.  The important thing is getting together with family and friends for the Thanksgiving feast.  Are you the one doing the cooking this year, or does someone else have it?  It can be very stressful to coordinate a big meal.  Even a small one tests my patience.

What's really nice is that Señor Zanza provides the meal every year.  I don't know where he gets it, but it's delicious.  Señor Zanza turns out to have strange friends in strange places.  I don't question him, and he doesn't volunteer any information.  Señor Zanza says he wants to show his appreciation for his adopted homeland by providing the Thanksgiving meal.  That's fine by me.

Years ago, I was making the meal.  The turkey had one of those pop-up temperature gauges.  When it pops up, the turkey is done.  I put the turkey in the oven.  Twenty minutes later, the plastic gauge popped up.  Hmmm.

Here's the standings from the Irregular Football League:


Omg, I'm in last place.  If my team doesn't do better, I'm turning all of them into frogs.

Frogs is what the Packers have become.  Their spinning free fall continues with a loss to  the Washington Redskins.  Next, they face the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday, November 28, 7:30 pm, in Philadelphia.  Rah, Rah, Rah, Sis, Boom, Bah!  May the Packers find the help they need...

And may our nation find the help that it needs.  The election results so stunned me that I couldn't talk for three days.  I was expecting our first woman president.  Instead, we got Foghorn Leghorn.  He's never held any office, but he's the president-elect of the USA.  It goes to show you that hard work, perseverance, and a few billion dollars can buy you the presidency of the USA.

Uh, Electoral College, time for you to go.  It's just stupid to have the popular vote receiver not become the president.  Everyone goes crazy for months, campaigning and lying their way back and forth across the country.  There's the big hoopla of each parties' convention.  Then, finally, the popular vote.  Yes, she has the most votes, but the Electoral College decides that Dumbo will lead us.  WTF?  Why go through all that torturous campaigning when the Electoral College has the final say so?  What a load of crap.  It kinda discourages you from voting.  Why vote when the Electoral College decides who will be the next president?

On the local scene, things are as crazy as ever.  Now their talking about a new rehab of a building on Marquette Street.  More low income apartments.  Who wants to pay market rate for an apartment when someone with a low income can obtain the same apartment for a much lower rate?  And, of course, we still have the arena to deal with and Machinery Row.  There's so much federal money being slung around that nobody can track it.  "Just trust us," the current collections of thieves tells us.

Well, with all that negativity, I still wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.  Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my blog.  I love readers and visitors.  The more, the merrier.

When will we get our first real snowstorm?  Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

It's difficult at times ti deal with the cold and early darkness and gray skies.  If you're really bummed out, contact me and we'll party till the cows come home.  Of course, I don't have any cows, so it could be a long wait.  Thanks, again, for stopping by.  Don't get crushed in a Black Friday shopping throng.  I love you all!

__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order. 

Open Blog - Wednesday


Word Up Everyday.