Open Blog - Monday

I'll have a cup, please.

"WiGWAG: A Cher musical, trapped in an ATM, and more"

News with a twist

Lisa Neff and Louis Weisberg, Staff writers Jul 27, 2017 Updated Jul 28, 201

Texas hold ’em

A man hired to service an ATM at a Bank of America in Corpus Christi, Texas, found himself locked inside an ATM access — and he’d left his cellphone and keycard in his truck. When he realized customers were at the ATM to withdraw cash, he started passing notes through the receipt slot on the machine. “Please help. I’m stuck in here and I don’t have my phone.” Police said customers thought they were being pranked, but one called police after hearing an ever-so faint voice seeming to come from inside the ATM.

All shook up

More than a few people fell for an old hoax recently recycled by Now8News and circulated on YouTube. The fake story goes like this: Elvis Presley did not die Aug. 16, 1977, but instead entered the federal witness protection program. He only died recently, as a homeless man living in San Diego and going by the name of Jessie. All that would come as a shock to the tens of thousands of pilgrims preparing to visit Elvis’ grave at his Graceland mansion in Memphis, Tennessee, in August for the 40th anniversary of the King’s death. Elvis Week begins Aug. 11 and continues through Aug. 19.

This one’s on the Federal Reserve

Those guarantees about your money being safe at the bank? The Federal Reserve’s going to have to come through and replace an unspecified amount of cash ruined by flooding at the Fox River State Bank in Burlington, Wisconsin. When the Fox rose past flood stage, water flooded the bank and its vault, which is water-resistant but not waterproof. The water reached as high as 21 inches inside the bank.

Oversight

The current issue of the British medical journal, BMJ, contains a case report about a woman scheduled for cataract surgery based on her complaints about vision problems. Her doctors, however, discovered 27 contact lenses in her right eye. The woman had been wearing disposable lenses for 35 years and, apparently not all of them were disposed of.

At the ‘dive in’

In 1975, the movie-going public was warned about seeing Jaws: “You’ll never go in the water again.” Well, in July, to celebrate Shark Week, the brave and the bold paid $55 not only to go into the water but also to watch Jaws, Jaws 2, Jaws 3 and Jaws: The Revenge while bobbing on inner tubes in Lake Travis in Austin, Texas. The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema movie parties featured sneaky scuba divers to guarantee plenty of screaming during the screenings.

Over a cliff, again and again

Remember those long summer days spent playing video games? Yes, WiGWAG is talking about last week, when we became obsessed with an online game — “Push Trump Off a Cliff Again!” — at pushtrumpoffacliffagain.com. Using simple keystrokes or mouse clicks, players could send Trump running, jumping, flying and dancing over a cliff or into a volcano. As Trump tumbles, he says “bye” and “I’m really rich.”

Bad call

A Florida drug dealer called the sheriff’s office in Okaloosa County to report that someone broke into his car and stole $50 in cash, a crack pipe and a quarter-ounce of cocaine. Unluckily for the complainant, a deputy found the car with the cash missing but the drugs and paraphernalia untouched.

Egg on their faces

Two Florida teens picked the wrong bicyclist to throw an egg at: The cyclist was a police officer. He chased the vehicle and called for help with his cellphone. A responding patrol officer pulled over the teens’ car and found two cartons of eggs and a small amount of marijuana.

Tres Cher

Cher is the subject of a new musical that producers say could hit the stage next year. The three-act play will focus on the superstar at three stages of her storied life, and three actors will portray her as “Babe,” “Lady” and “Star.” Tony award-winning writer Rick Elice is at work on the production, which will feature such hits as “I Got You Babe,” “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves,” “Believe,” and “If I Could Turn Back Time.”

Big tipper

Actor/singer Donnie Wahlberg left a $2,000 tip on an $82.60 bill for workers at a Waffle House in Charlotte, North Carolina. He explained the generosity on Facebook: “My mom waited tables, and my dad tended bars — for years! So, when I walk into a #WaffleHouse, and the staff treats me like a king, you better believe I treat them like queens!”

Over-sharing

A Maryland man was arrested after strangling his stepfather and then posting photos of himself with the body.

From: http://www.wisconsingazette.com/blogs/wigwag-a-cher-musical-trapped-in-an-atm-and-more/article_2dacd310-72d2-11e7-8008-0be220ac14dd.html

FOXCONN! FOXCONN! FOXCONN!

Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!
Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!
Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!
Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!
Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!
Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!
Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!
Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn! Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!  Foxconn!

Hwys. 31, 20, and C a Mess

Hwy 31 from MM to 20 is being heavily rebuilt.  At the same time, portions of Hwys. 20 and C that intersect with 31 are also being rebuilt.  I live out here now and I've never seen worse driving.   Anything out of the ordinary and the average motorist is bewildered.  A little while ago I was very tempted to give another driver a whack on the side of the head with a 2 x 4.

Every day brings new obstacles and the drivers' little brains just stop working.  I was screaming, "Go!  Go!" to another motorist and he looked totally lost.  There were some orange barrels up, so he didn't know what to do.  In fact, 90% of the motorists can't handle anything out of the ordinary.  I've never seen so many fuck-ups in my life.  Maybe I should spend a day out there and videotape the madness.

Racine drivers are idiots.  Give me Chicago drivers any day.

Open Blog - Weekend

Cool clouds.

"4 Real Flying Cars That Actually Fly"

Me want.

Four For Fridays

Once again I'm filling in for Tender Heart Bear.  She and Drew are dog sitting up north.  Your questions:

1)  If you could be anyone, living or dead, fictional or real, who would it be?

2)  If you like candy, what kind?

3)  If you like nuts, what kind?

4)  Who has the best Friday night fish fry?

Bonus question 5)  What should we do about North Korea and Kim Sung Tongue?

Enjoy the upcoming weekend, Irregulars.

Open Blog - Friday

Hurray, hurray, hurray!

"NOT REAL NEWS: A look at what didn’t happen this week"

by Lisa Neff

A roundup of some of the most popular, but completely untrue, headlines of the past week. None of these stories are legit, even though they were shared widely on social media.

NOT REAL: Trump Is Furious After Discovering Gov’t Waste

THE FACTS: A story posted by borntobebright.com falsely claims that Trump initiated an internal audit of the Social Security Administration. While the piece correctly states that the audit found the agency spent nearly $32 million on conferences from fiscal years 2013 to 2016, the inquiry ended in January, before Trump was inaugurated.

NOT REAL: SEVERAL BLACK MEN FOUND DEAD IN MASS GRAVE AT DEAD KKK LEADER’S ESTATE

THE FACTS: The story shared by the Jackson Telegraph and other hoax sites claims the FBI announced the discovery a mass grave of black men at the former Mississippi home of KKK leader Eldon Lee Edwards. Brett Carr, a spokesman for the FBI’s Jackson, Mississippi, tells the AP the story is “fabricated” and has “no validity.” The announcement was attributed to an FBI spokesman named Adrian Cartwright, but Carr says the bureau has no spokesmen by that name.

NOT REAL: Gretchen Carlson: “The 2nd Amendment Was Written Before Guns Were Invented”

THE FACTS: The former Fox News anchor did come out in support of an assault weapons ban last year and defended her stance on Twitter. But she never claimed the Second Amendment was written before guns were invented. In fact, Carlson said on Fox News that she wanted to “hold true the sanctity of the Second Amendment while still having common sense.” The story shared by redherald.com, therightists.com and other sites also claims Carlson doubted that Elvis Presley is dead and man landed on the Moon.

NOT REAL: Trey Gowdy Ends The Russia Investigation ONCE AND FOR ALL

THE FACTS: Gowdy said the House Oversight Committee he leads would end its investigation into ties between President Donald Trump’s campaign and Russia, but he has no power to halt other inquiries. Investigations by other Congressional committees and special counsel Robert Mueller are ongoing. Gowdy, a Republican from South Carolina, is a frequent target of false news sites focusing on politics.

NOT REAL: Urban Meyer resigns as head football coach for Ohio State

THE FACTS: The Buckeyes coach hasn’t stepped down despite this story from hoax site channel23news.com. The item is clearly marked as a prank and takes a shot at Ohio State’s archrival, Michigan. The fake article quotes Meyer as saying that his resignation is the only way Michigan can beat the Buckeyes. Ohio State has beaten Michigan five straight times since Meyer took over at Ohio State in 2012.

From http://www.wisconsingazette.com/news/not-real-news-a-look-at-what-didn-t-happen/article_c2c8e8be-70aa-11e7-8699-3f2387c0546b.html

Alltime10s Thursdays

Open Blog - Thursday

The same to you.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my children!  How are you?  Does it seem to you that colors are more vibrant, birds chirp more often, everyone looks a little happier?  That's what I call the lying John effect.  Everyone felt a load taken off of their shoulders as soon as lying John left office.  I know that I feel better with that conman out of office.  Unfortunately, we'll be living with the effects of his years in office for a long time to come.  I was hoping that the idea of an "events center" and hotel would die, along with Machinery Row, with lying John gone.  We'll just have to wait and see on those.

I'm already getting excited about the Packers' new season.  Will they finally make it to the Super Bowl?  Or am I being unrealistic?  Actually, I know.  But you don't.  Go, Pack, Go!

Did you read about the man who bought an ice cream cart to make some money, but says he's been kicked out of every location?  Now he's selling the cart:  http://journaltimes.com/news/local/ice-cre
am-business-not-worth-it---unlucky-chuck/article_9dad4524-a6cd-11df-ae31-001cc4c03286.html
Is that poor planning by a startup, or over regulation of businesses in Racine?  At first, I believed the city was throttling new, small businesses.  But now that I think of it, every ice cream cart I've seen was moving unless making a sale.  $3,000 he paid for the cart.  Oh dear.

I just read that the body found in a ditch in Mount Pleasant has been identified as that of a missing Kenosha teen: http://journaltimes.com/news/local/police-identify-body-found-as-missing-kenosha-teen/article_9d27d167-5cfc-513d-b333-946a12da011a.html There is so much violence in our society that I can barely take it.  Many Europeans consider all of us to be gun fanatics who get off on killing each other.  I'm just waiting for the next cop/civilian shootout.  The Europeans may be right.  Canadians have as many guns per capita as the USA, but only a small percentage of our deaths.  So why do we have so many gun deaths?  Is it our media or movie or music business to blame?  Or all of them?  I don't know this one.  You tell me.

Junior wants a gun (and a Playmate and a car), but I tell him he has to wait until he's 18.  I assume that Senor Zanza is qualified to teach him gun safety.  I have no objective reason for believing this, but every time I've needed something or someone, he's always been there, and quickly resolves the problem.  Maybe I should propose to him.

Thank you, guys, for reading my blog this week.  I love a lot of readers.  I love a lot of things.

madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

We're in the heart of summer.  Get out there and enjoy it. 
 __________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

"Car show will feature American muscle cars"

"MOUNT PLEASANT — The sixth annual All-American Modern Muscle Car Show will be held from 4 to 9 p.m. Saturday, July 29, at Georgie Porgies, 5502 Washington Ave. Registration for show car participants begins at 4 p.m.

"The event will feature a car show, silent auction, 1980’s and ‘90’s music, participant voting, 'car'-icature and pencil artists and awards. Cars must be 2005 or newer and are restricted to All-American modern muscle brands. Dash plaques will be given to the first 75 registrants.

"The cost is $10 to show a car. There is no charge for spectators. Proceeds will benefit Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin. Last year, a check was presented to Children’s Hospital for $1,500.

"For more information, call 262-633-1806 or 262-639-8960 or go to www.allamericanmodernmusclecarshow.weebly.com."

From: http://journaltimes.com/lifestyles/leisure/car-show-will-feature-american-muscle-cars/article_f08f4ce4-d164-5a42-b689-32041553c213.html

Open Blog - Wednesday

2. Still not even Thursday.

"Sim Sala Ba-ding!"

From the Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 2 hours ago

 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, I’m on special-reporter assignment to research the whereabouts of the past, so I’m short on the wherewithal to pony up an essay for you’s this week, what the fock.

I thought to take a look-see over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school. The past may be hiding out there. Problem is the Uptowner isn’t open yet, so I figure to swing by my favorite open-24-hours restaurant where a guy like me can get a jump-start on girding his loins in preparation for the day’s daily shit-storm to follow. Come along if you want but you leave the tip. Let’s get going.

Bea: Hey there, Artie, what’s your pleasure?

Art: Bea! How the heck are you? Haven’t seen much of you around here lately. Everything all right by you?

Bea: Everything’s fine, Artie, I’ve been just so busy lately. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. First, I had jury duty.

Art: Yeah yeah, the jury duty can really eat up the time.

Bea: Yes it can.

Art: I’ll never forget the one time I had the jury duty. This guy’s on trial for aggravated assault. The judge says to the guy, “You are charged with assaulting your wife with a hammer,” and I hear a voice in the back of the courtroom yell, “You bastard.” The judge bangs his gavel and continues, “You are also charged with assaulting your mother-in-law with a hammer.” Again, the voice in the back yells, “You bastard.”

The judge is really angry and directly addresses the guy who’s been yelling. Judge says, “We cannot have any more of these outbursts from you, sir, or I shall charge you with contempt. Now, what seems to be the problem?”

And the guy who’s been shouting says, “Fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!”

Bea: Really, Artie.

Art: Oh yeah Bea, I swear.

Bea: And I’ve been busy helping my niece get ready for college.

Art: Well, it’s nice to see you back here, Bea. How ’bout you bring me a nice cup of the blackest, thickest and cheapest of whatever it is you’re calling plain old American coffee today, thank you very kindly.

Bea: Coming right up, Artie. There you go.

Art: So what does your niece plan to study?

Bea: International relations.

Art: Good idea, Bea, ’cause you read the papers these days and gosh darn if we couldn’t use more people who knew how to relate internationally—what a world, ain’a?

Bea: That it is, Artie.

Art: Take this terrorism, for example. A lot of people say, “Oh yeah, terrorism. We ought to fight fire with fire.” And I say, you got to be jerking my beefaroni. That’s like you discover your kitchen’s on fire, so you say, “Hey, my kitchen’s on fire. I know what I’ll do. I’ll start my bedroom on fire to boot. That’ll take care of it.” Cripes Bea, how stupid can you get, ain’a?

Bea: Couldn’t tell you, Artie.

Art: These so-called terrorist countries—the people seem to me to be a pretty grumpy bunch.

Bea: I suppose they don’t have much to be cheerful about.

Art: Exactly. Call me crazy, but I happen to believe that bombing the bejesus out of them is not exactly going to improve their disposition. We’d have a lot better chance of turning things around in these countries if we were to fly over and airdrop a couple, three hundred-thousand whoopee cushions for the people ’cause I ask you Bea: Who doesn’t get a kick out of those magical little rubberized gas bags?

Bea: Beats me, Artie.

Art: See, Bea? Once the people get the hang of how to use them, they just might think that “Hey, the world’s not such a bad place, after all.” And along with the whoopee cushion, let’s include the squirt bow-tie, the fake dog doo-doo and a complimentary translated copy of the “Henny Youngman Bedside Joke Companion.” Time to put the “fun” into fundamentalism.

Bea: I suppose it’s worth a try.

Art: Darn tootin’, Bea. And you know, some of these nutball leaders in the threatening countries, they got like a couple, three, four wives each—talk about your perfect audience for Henny on the topic of marriage, ain’a? Like: “I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.” Or, “I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me!” And my favorite: “First guy says proudly, ‘My wife’s an angel.’ Second guy says, ‘You’re lucky. Mine’s still alive.’ ”

Bea: You might be on to something, Artie.

Art: Anyways, I got to run, so thanks for the coffee and for letting me bend your ear there, Bea—utiful.

Bea: My pleasure, Artie. Always nice getting talked at by you. Take care.

(It’s off to the Uptowner, if I see you there, you buy me one ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.)

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-30134-sim-sala-ba-ding_.html

Open Blog - Tuesday

Wednesday will get jealous.

"This crowd saw something suspicious: See how they react"

"'If you see something, say something' has become a national slogan, but if something suspicious happened in front of you, would you notice? How would you react? TODAY national investigative correspondent Jeff Rossen reports the results of a revealing hidden camera experiment."

http://www.today.com/video/this-crowd-saw-something-suspicious-see-how-they-react-1007434819644

I ALWAYS speak up now.  I don't want to be someone's victim.  Twice now I've reported suspicious packages at the Post Office.  A guy came in, dropped a parcel on the desk, and left.  I immediately spoke up.  Turns out, he had a girlfriend in line and she was mailing it.  But you never know.  Better off safe than dead or maimed.

Open Blog - Monday

 
Whisper back, "No, you go fuck yourself."

Open Blog - Weekend

The same to one and all.

"5 teens who recorded, mocked drowning man will not be charged in his death"

"COCOA, Fla. --

A group of Florida teens who taunted a drowning man while filming his death from afar will not be criminally charged, according to police.

"In the more than two-minute long video, the five teen boys -- who are between the ages of 14 and 16 -- can be heard laughing as the man struggles to stay afloat, police say, in a pond near his family's Cocoa, Florida, home.
 
"Instead of calling for help, the teens recorded the incident on a cell phone, chuckling during the victim's final moments.

"The teens can be heard warning the man that he was 'going to die' and they were not going to help him. At one point, one of the teen boys can be heard laughing, saying 'he dead.'

"The state of Florida currently does not have a law where a citizen is obligated to render aid or call for help for anyone in distress.

"'If there was (a law like that) we would charge them,' Cocoa Police Department spokeswoman Yvonne Martinez told CNN by phone."

Read more:  http://abc7chicago.com/news/5-teens-who-recorded-mocked-drowning-man-will-not-be-charged-in-his-death/2239141/


Our society is very sick.  I'm glad that I won't be around for the climax, when everyone goes to war against everyone else.

Four for Fridays!

Hello everyone I hope you had a good week. I am sorry for not posting last week but I would like to send a special thank you to Daddy Orbs for posting Four for Fridays last week for me. You know the people that are there for you when you need them and Daddy Orbs is there for me. Here are your questions for this week.

1) Have you ever had a garage sale?

2) Have you gone to a garage sale in the summer?

3) When you have gone to a garage sale is there something special you are looking for?

4) What is that something special you are looking for at a garage sale?

Have a great weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Oooo, fat and pudgy.

"Sandy Weidner announces she's running for mayor"

"RACINE — After months of speculation about her intentions, 6th District Alderman Sandy Weidner announced Wednesday that she plans to run for mayor in the upcoming special election.

"Weidner made the announcement during Prospect Heights Community Living Center's annual friends and family party Wednesday night. Weidner had hinted at a run for mayor  since former Mayor John Dickert announced in March that he would be stepping down, but was waiting for aldermen to indicate when the election would take place.

"'I'd made up my mind a long time ago,' Weidner said. 'I just was not prepared to make an announcement until I knew when the mayor's seat was going to be vacated and when the City Council was going to make a determination as to when the special election would be.'"

Read more: http://journaltimes.com/news/local/sandy-weidner-announces-she-s-running-for-mayor/article_e071328f-6bdd-55a8-845c-44f9836d5cb5.html


As far as I'm concerned, Sandy Weidner is the only candidate running who gives a damn about the people of this city.  Time after time, she stood up to lying John when all the other Common Council members cowered in fear.  If she becomes mayor, I hope she appoints a special counsel to investigate the crimes that lying John has committed against the city.

Alltime10s Thursdays

Open Blog - Thursday

 No shit, Sherlock.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hi, boys and girls!  How are you?  Enjoying this beautiful weather?  You better be or you can't complain about winter's cold.  These are the glory days of summer, before August's heat.  We get it again near September's end, but not as long or warm.  In between are the hot days of summer, when the grass goes dormant for lack of water.

Well, there's your landscape lesson for the day.  I couldn't help but notice that lying John is out of office one day and a company in Yorkville decides to re-commit to the area.  Hmm.  Gee, maybe the problem was you, lying John.

Now all we have to do is shoot down the event center and Machinery Row.  How many millions of dollars did we give to the "developer" of Machinery Row that won't be repaid?  My God, when it came to the ghetto, lying John took down streetlights, but when it came to far-fetched real estate developments, he threw around millions of dollars.

He left a hole to be plugged, so they temporarily appointed Dennis Wiser to the mayor's job.  The mayor's election should be sometime this fall.  Get ready for bucket loads of bullshit, in the mail, on TV, and on the telephone.  How dirty will it get?

If it matters, I endorse Sandy Weidner.

If she can't/won't run, I endorse OrbsCorbs.  I'd endorse Senor Zanza, but I',m not sure of his immigration status.

I read online yesterday that once President Nixon got so drunk that he wanted to nuke North Korea.  His generals talked him out of it.  Too bad.

Our current president provides all the entertainment that we need.  Maybe too much.

Junior and Senor Zanza get into some pretty heated arguments over politics.  I don't know which one is on which side.  It doesn't matter.  The arguments would be the same.  I only get involved if it looks like one is going to hit the other.  Then I call for a "timeout."  Amazingly, it works.  If only world leaders would volunteer for a timeout.  It might settle a lot of problems.

I hope that you have few problems.  I hope that you enjoy the weather.

If you still need help, contact:  madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.  I hope you enjoyed it.  The more readers, the better, is my belief.  Thank you all.
 __________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.  

Open Blog - Wednesday

Nothing. S'up with you?

"Name That Throne"

From the Shepherd Express

By Art Kumbalek

14 hours ago

 

 

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, the other day I happened to mosey past the twinkle-in-the-eye new Bucks’ Shangri-La on my way to a nearby George Webb Restaurant and remembered the joint didn’t yet have a moniker slapped on it that somebody shelled out some big-time dough for, what the fock.
And what kind of ballpark figure are we talking for what-you-call your “naming rights”? I thought I’d scout a potential price ’cause it might be nice to have something named after myself besides a tombstone or a court case. And HOLY FOCKING COW. To have your name affixed to a basketball court goes for about $120 million paid over 20 years—about $6 mil per year. Yeah, tell me about it, that’s a little rich for my blood, too. That’s one pricey shingle to hang out, I kid you not.

But maybe I’ve got a deal for you’s. And that is I’m offering naming rights to this here weekly column, “Art for Art’s Sake,” to the highest bidder. So what would it run you to affix your handle atop this page? Let me run some numbers here. Somewheres around 60,000 Badgerlanders and what-not sit down to read this paper at a weekly crack—not to mention a whole bunch of younger people who read this paper on a screen ’cause they’re too lazy to stop and pick up the hard stuff.

In the newspaper game, it’s called “circulation” rather than “attendance” like in the sports business, but it’s the same goddamn thing. Of interest to all potential pigeons who’d like to land my naming rights, out of these 60,000-plus weekly fans, 60,000-plus of them turn to this page first. And not just 41 times a fall, winter and spring—at only a max 17,500 fannies per Bucks game—but 52 focking times a year at 60,000 fannies, Jack.

So do the math: 52 times a conservative 60,000 equals 3,120,000, 3,120,000 satisfied and enlightened consumers of this column come rain, sleet, snow, mad dogs, hell, Englishmen and high water who each and every week will associate your name with truth, justice and the American Way.

And what am I asking for these naming rights? Let me tell you this. If you think forking out $120 million to have your moniker identified with an up-and-down basketball squad that—with a significant injury here and there, and/or free-agent desertion—would promise only disappointment is good advertising, then I got a weekly column I’d like to peddle you the naming rights to at a fraction of the cost. It won’t cost you $120 million. It won’t cost you $60 million. It won’t even cost you a paltry $1 million, no sir. I’m not here to rob you blind.

What I propose to soak you for the right to impress 3,120,000 potential customers per year with your corporate/store/product/restaurant name at the top of this page is two-bits a head. That’s right, a mere one-time $780,000 to name this column whatever the fock you want in perpetuity. Be it “Oscar Mayer for Oscar Mayer’s Sake,” “Chesterfield for Chesterfield’s Sake,” “Jim Beam for Jim Beam’s Sake” or “Hooters for Hooters’ Sake”; hell, makes no difference to me what kind of racket you’re in. If your business is selling the Lord, you can name this column “Christ for Christ’s Sake,” for christ sakes. All’s fine by me.

Believe me, I could care less what you call it. As long as you pony up the three-quarters of a million dollars, you can call this weekly essay “Piece of Crap” or even “Shit on a Shingle.”

So I hope you’s all seriously consider my generous offer to be a winner. I’m sure it promises a rosy future of so much winning; besides I really need the dough ’cause I could use a nice air conditioner. And speaking of the future, how ’bout I leave you with a supplemental astrological look-see that may be easier to read than one you may otherwise find in this paper ’cause it leaves out all the bullshit:

Aries: Spirits improve following the writing of a check for “cash” and mailed to Art Kumbalek, c/o Shepherd Express.

Taurus: Same as above, no bull.

Gemini: Send two checks, same address.

Cancer: See a doctor after writing check for “cash” to Art Kumbalek.

Leo: See “Aries” for special message, hairball.

Virgo: Ditto.

Libra: Hey knob, where’s my check?

Scorpio: See “Libra” for special message.

 

Sagittarius: Fock if I know.

Capricorn: It’s a wonderful life, but what would it be like without you around? Before you try to find out, take out a life insurance policy. Stars indicate “Art Kumbalek” to be beneficiary. Go jump off the Hoan, but make it look like an accident.

Aquarius: Hey waterboy, bear me a couple, three Jacksons why don’t you.

Pisces: Fish got to swim, and eagles got to fly from you to me.

Assclown: Yeah, you may never have heard of this sign before, but you know who you are and if you don’t, I do, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

"time for sushi" & "late for meeting"

Open Blog - Tuesday

 It could be worse.  It could be Monday.

WigWag

News with a twist

• Lisa Neff and Louis Weisberg, Staff writers
• Jul 13, 2017 Updated Jul 13, 2017

What about the SPF?

Fashion magazines say last year’s trend in the U.K. has washed up on U.S. beaches. Some sunbathers are using Coca-Cola as self-tanner. Is it effective? Apparently, Coke can provide a temporary stain — but it isn’t the real thing. Dr. Joshua Zeichner, a dermatologist at Mount Sinai, told Allure magazine, “I recommend staying away from it. Applying it to the skin may lead to a temporary darkening or staining of the skin, but because sodas are acidic, it may exfoliate dead cells, enhancing the ability of UV light to penetrate into the skin.” So, cola to exfoliate? Maybe.

AI for Alpha kids

IEEE, a professional organization dedicated to advancing technology, recently released results of a survey asking millennial parents of generation Alpha kids — children 7 years old or younger — about artificial intelligence. About two-thirds of the parents would prefer to have AI rather than their kids help them live independently in their golden years. About 48 percent of parents would get a robot pet instead of a real pet if their kid wanted one. And about 40 percent would hire a robo-nanny in place of a real nanny. Of course, a new survey will be required next year, after the release of Mary Poppins Returns.

Love it or list it?

A man who bought a dilapidated house next to his childhood home in Pennsylvania undertook an extensive renovation and discovered the eyesore was a 300-year-old log cabin — one of the oldest homes in the state. After removing layers of exterior, the 71-year-old man found a log home untouched — except by time — since 1704.

Hairy survey

Whether you like men smooth, hairy or not at all, you might find this interesting. MissTravel.com asked more than 4,000 people about their opinions of hirsute men. Sixty-one percent of women said they prefer their men bare, while 58 percent of gay men said they like them bushy. But asked whether they manscape their chest hair, 46 percent of men said yes, while 54 percent said no. “There’s a disconnect between how a woman wants a man to look, and how he actually looks,” said MissTravel.com CEO Brandon Wade. But apparently not so for gay men.

Harvest time

Italian artist Dario Gambarin used his tractor to transform a field near the city of Verona into a portrait of Russian President Vladimir Putin ahead of the Group of 20 summit. The AP said the artist creates his giant images with a good eye and tractor skills. Last year, Gambarin created portraits of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. To everything, there is a season.

Sip and slurp

The Collective Brewing Project in Texas is catering to college students — or perhaps nostalgic college grads — with its latest concoction. The Cup O’ Beer is brewed with ramen noodles and, according to the Fort Worth brewery, delivers notes of ginger, lime, lemongrass and a seaweed-cured sea salt. From tap, the beer is served in Styrofoam cups. To go, the beer retails for a not-so-nostalgic price — $7 a bottle.

Another pour

The label of another new craft brew, Amigous Cerveza, shows a frowning Donald Trump wearing a sombrero and a swastika belt buckle and declares the president of the United States belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.” Luis Enrique de la Reguera, chief executive of brewery Casa Cervecera Cru Cru, said the beer has been selling “extremely fast” since it arrived on the market in May. Credit for the IPA goes to Cru Cru, Mexican partner Error de Diciembre and U.S.-based Epic Brewing, in a show of cross-border cooperation.

Blown away

A Florida man accidentally shot himself in the penis after unwittingly sitting on a loaded gun he’d left on the driver’s seat of his vehicle. Pouring salt into the wound, local reports say that because of a prior conviction for cocaine possession, the man may face a criminal charge for possessing the firearm that wrecked his junk.

Woops, wrong car

A 22-year-old Pennsylvania man is facing charges after breaking into a police cruiser. In a Facebook post, the West Warwick Police Department said two officers witnessed the crime. But police said the man was so focused on “the task at hand” that he only realized his mistake after the officers apprehended him.

Vroom, vroom

A Pennsylvania motorcycle lover was buried in the sidecar of his 1990 Harley-Davidson Heritage Softail. Family members said 89-year-old Steel City resident Arthur Werner Sr. made his burial plans way ahead of his death from cancer.

Unintended consequences

The audience for MSNBC’s Morning Joe jumped 70 percent the day after Donald Trump sent out a nasty, adolescent tweet ridiculing hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski.

"I'm Going To End Political Corruption in Racine, WI"

Why you should support Justin Wheeler

My name is Justin Wheeler and I am running for Mayor of Racine, WI in the upcoming special election.

I was born in this city. I was raised here by my phenomenal parents Allan and Terri. My father has served Racine as a city employee for over 35 years.

I've worked for and in the city, and have a detailed understanding of the day to day operations of city departments and our common council.

My campaign is all about the individuals in our city. We're putting the power back in your hands. No more shady backroom deals and lies to the public.

Transparency and integrity will be the foundation of everything my administration does.

I'm focused on job opportunities and saving money for our citizens.
   
Technology is our biggest asset in retooling our local economy. 

My administration will invest in high speed internet for our city. Cities such as Chattanooga, TN attracted a large number of tech based companies by installing high speed fiber-optic connections throughout the city. They've seen abandoned factories replaced with new 21st century industry. They created 1000 new, quality jobs in just two years.

As a journalist and business owner I've seen struggles and successes from a plethora of perspectives in our community.

Too often local government gets in the way of its people. Local regulations cripple growth and wasteful spending burdens our budget.

Privileged career politicians spend our resources paying off political favors and positioning themselves for their next pay day, usually on the taxpayers' dime.

Our city is over 100 million dollars in debt. Instead of changing our spending, our leaders voted to raise the debt ceiling. This is not fiscal responsibility. 32 cents of every tax dollar is spent on debt. We’re losing street lights, our roads are falling apart.

Remember the guy that told us he would make Racine a top 10 city in 10 years? He introduced Cory Mason at a goodbye press conference as Racine’s next mayor.

Liars are the worst, but we have to move forward. ...Read more

Also see  https://www.elance.com/s/the1life2live4/resume/

And here:  http://racinecommunitymedia.tumblr.com/post/55713077850/former-racine-employee-rips-racine-journal-times

"Dickert offers gratitude, pride in last interview as mayor"

http://journaltimes.com/news/local/dickert-offers-gratitude-pride-in-last-interview-as-mayor/article_40e06dd3-81f5-5654-9ffb-d49cdb13320a.html

Drop dead, you lying liar.  The sooner we get rid of you, the better the chance that we can undo your lies.

Who was the spark plug for Anthony Lane's makeover?  Not you, Dickert, but you'll gladly steal the spotlight.  What the hell did Dickert do to lower our unemployment level?  Nothing.  He's chased every skilled technician out of the city.  What a mess he leaves for his successor.

So glad to see the lying criminal leave.  How do we get retirement money back from his lying cousin, the former City Administrator, Tom Friedel?

Dickert and his cronies:

 

You and me: 

Open Blog - Monday

Oh my.

Happy Birthday, OrbsCorbs!

Open Blog - Weekend

Happy weekend to everybody!

Four For Frifays!

I'm filling in for Ms. Tender Heart Bear, who is performing other acts of charity today.  Here's your questions:

1)  Who is the biggest asshole in Racine?

2)  How hot and how high the humidity before it gets to you?

3)  Will Trump get North Korea jacked up enough that they attack us first, and then we flatten them?

4)  Will Trump get North Korea jacked up enough that they kill him (Trump)?

Everyone have a great week and keep your cool.  I'd much rather worry about the heat than the cold.

Open Blog - Friday

Yeow!

Alltime10s Thursdays

Open Blog - Thursday

Who cut your heads off?

Dear Madame Zoltar

I'm sorry this blog is late, but our basement is flooded.  At first I heard Junior's whoops of joy, soon to be replaced by Senor Zanza cursing.  He's been in the basement for hours now.  What could he be doing?  Fishing?

Mayor lying John has announced his last day on the job: July 16, which also happens to be Mr. OrbsCorbs' 66th birthday.  I can't think of a finer gift to give Mr. OrbsCorbs.  Although he's toned down the rhetoric in recent years, Mr. OrbsCorbs used to taunt the mayor daily.

I wonder if lying John has left an orderly plan for this transition?  LOL.  Not.  I wonder how much money his comrades stand to make?  We've given away millions already.  What's a few million more?

I'm not at all impressed with the three people who have announced their candidacy for mayor.  If this is the best Racine can scrape up, then we deserve everything we get (or don't get).  I can understand, though, an honest person's reluctance to walk into a cesspool.  Most Racinians are blind to lying John's machinations.  No one cares as long as their belly is full.  No one cares until the taxes are due.

This is a real chance to put someone who is ethical and has the community's best interest in mind into office.  I'm sorry to say that I think we'll blow it.  It's like we have a death wish.  We'll elect some Dickert stooge, and not much will change.  Everyone keeps following orders.  The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.

Oh dear!  More swearing from the basement.  That doesn't sound good.  I told him to beware electrocution.  I'm not even going to ask him how it's going.  That would just get me involved in the madness.  When he's had enough, he'll come upstairs.  I can make him a sandwich then and we can discuss the situation.

Obviously, we're not the only household that's flooded.  The county has declared a state of emergency.  I think that does little to help me.  I'm not "connected."  No one is going to come here and pump out the water unless I pay him/her to do it.  I'm not even going to ask why our sump pump failed.  It simply has.  There's nothing to do now but deal with the damage.

Thank you for reading my blog.  I love more readers.  Mostly, we're a merry bunch, except when our basements are flooded.

Contact me: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com 

Enjoy the warm temps even if it does rain too damn much.  Wet and warm is better than wet and cold.  We had some beautiful days last week.  They'll return,  I hope.
__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.  

Open Blog - Wednesday

Any guarantees?

"Slinging of the Bull"

From the Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek  Jul. 11, 2017

 

 

So listen, I’m back from my so-called vacation—can’t believe President Orange Circus Peanut didn’t give Alaska back to the Russians at the G20 Summit—just in time to land smack-dab in the middle of this so-called Bastille Days Downtown Drink Beer in the Street and Oui-Oui in Les Boulevard Fest. Focking swell.

Once again this fest coincides with the running-of-the-bulls-shit they got going over in your Pamplona, Spain, which reminds me of an idea I had some years back on how our Frenchie-palooza could attract a more culturally diverse patronage (other than young white people walking around in circles)—a patronage that would be brave, not cowardly, in pissing away their spend-able francs on parlez-vous and what-not, what the fock.

I suggested our Downtown French shebang could garner the annual international attention and fervor like the “running of the bulls.” So why not during the Bastille Days we periodically let loose a couple, three rampaging bulls at the swell corner of Jefferson & Wells so as to attract the wealthy international traveler bent on confronting death? Hey, you tell me.

So yeah, I took a week off and now I’m back from my focking vacances, excuse my French. And why I go on a vacation, I can’t tell you. All I get from a vacation is a reminder of a definition for insanity: You keep repeating some kind of stupid-ass dead-end behavior, each time thinking: “O Lord, please let the outcome be a little better just this one time, would you, for christ sakes.” Yeah, I know that’s also the definition of newspaper-column writing, but I’ll deal with that another time ’cause I got other fish to fry.

You betcha, my vacations never turn out the way I’d prefer. You want to know what my vacations are like? I’ll tell you what they’re like. They’re like what happened to this guy I know. Here:

One day this guy I know is on his way to lunch and walks right by a snazzy travel agency with a sign in the window that says, “Four-day cruise down the Murray River—$40 all inclusive!”

He can’t believe the price, and a nice relaxing river cruise was exactly what he had in mind for vacation that year. So he races into the agency, slaps two Jacksons down on the counter and tells the agent he wants to book a Murray cruise. Agent says, “Very good, sir,” whips out a baseball bat and knocks the guy stone-cold out.

So he comes to and finds himself strapped to a floating log racing down a white-water river. A little ways down, he sees another guy strapped to a log rolling down the other side of the river.

“Forty-dollar Murray cruise?” he shouts out. “Hey, you betcha,” says his fellow cruiser on the other side.

“This blows. I’ll bet we don’t even get breakfast,” he yells. “I don’t know,” says the other guy, “we did last year.” Ba-ding!

Anyways, my “week off” wasn’t to be one of those vacation vacations where you just sit around on your cushy butt spending dough in hopes to convince yourself you’re having a good time, no sir.

Listen, as a candidate to be your next governor of America’s Dairyland, I’ve heard tell that our Badger State is one of these so-called “swing” states that could flip either way, especially for a presidential election. So I thought it would be wise for me to tour outposts like your Ladysmith, Cadott, Cornell, Black River Falls, Solon Springs, Town of Barnes, and bamboozle the bumpkins with my glad-hand just like a regular would-be governator.

But I’ll tell you, “swing” is not the first word that comes to mind during a jaunt through these hinterland haunts, unless come Saturday night you hang yourself from a beam in the basement, just for something to do.

And it’s a mystery to me that candidates for office believe that a quick stop here, a pop-in there, can do very much to jack-up the opinion of elected representatives held by the bucolic wing of the electorate. Cripes, I remember a story from some years ago that shows just how much work needs to be done to improve a would-be statesman’s standing with the cornfield crowd. I don’t know if this story’s true but here it is anyways, what the fock:

On Friday afternoon, the entire state legislature of a state located not-even-close to either coast was aboard the official state bus touring a remote rural area when the driver lost control and crashed the bus into a ditch. Sometime later, a local farmer sauntered by and upon finding the politicians lying in the road, buried them.

It was reported that county sheriffs then arrived on the scene just as the farmer finished tamping the dirt down over the last member of this state’s legislature. Upon questioning the farmer about the wreck, a sheriff asked, “So you buried ALL the politicians? Were they all dead?”

The farmer reportedly answered: “Well sir, some said they weren’t, but you know how them politicians lie.”

Ba-ding! And thanks again to reader Ingrid Mae. When I’m governor, no taxes for you ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

 

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-30054-slinging-of-the-bull.html

"Extraordinary: The Stan Romanek Story"

This is a documentary about a man who is often seized by aliens.  He is often beat up and he doesn't know why, but he wakes up on the kitchen floor a lot, bloodied and disheveled.  He also receives messages from the outsiders, sometime on his TV.  So I'm watching this documentary when suddenly I see this:

There's a shart moment for you.  I dropped my sandwich.  Then I realized that this is the introduction to a part on orbs that follow Mr. Romanek around, often for miles.

Whew.  For a second, I thought ET was coming for me.

Open Blog - Tuesday

You complain to them if you don't like today.

Fear

Open Blog - Monday

Spread love and sunshine wherever you go.

WIGWAG

From Wisconsin Gazette:

Lisa Neff and Louis Weisberg, Staff writers

News with a twist

Seriously?

It’s bad enough to call the police because you think the thermos containing the sperm and dry ice for your artificial insemination exploded. It gets worse when you call 911 to report it, though, and the sheriff’s office posts the story on its Facebook page — and the next day a news crew shows up at your door. That’s what happened to a Florida woman, who was unable to persuade the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office to remove the post, which included a stock photo of a woman with a disgusted expression.

Royal skies

Some Dutch passengers on KLM flights might have recognized the co-pilot’s voice when he introduced himself on the airline’s Cityhopper services. It was not just their co-pilot telling them weather conditions and estimated time of arrival. It was their king. King Willem-Alexander has served as a regular “guest pilot” for 21 years. The 50-year-old father of three and monarch to 17 million Dutch citizens calls flying a “hobby” that lets him leave his royal duties on the ground.

Dual purpose suit

Sophia George, 88, bought her husband a new gray suit to wear to their 70th anniversary party, which included a renewal of their vows. She figured it was a good investment because he’ll be able to wear it again to his funeral, she said. He’s 93, and recently had a mini stroke. Sophia, on the other hand, is in great health. She led a conga line through the banquet hall.

The company he keeps

Donald Trump’s longtime lawyer Michael Cohen is under fire for posting a picture on social media of his daughter wearing only a black lace bra and stockings. The incident was reminiscent of Trump’s statement during the campaign that he’d perhaps date Ivanka, if she didn’t happen to be his daughter.

Don’t try this at home

A woman pumping gas near downtown Milwaukee stopped a thief from stealing her SUV by jumping on its hood and clinging to the windshield wipers as the man tried to drive away in her vehicle. Video of the attempted carjacking shows the would-be thief braking in the gas station parking lot as he tries to throw Melissa Smith off the hood. The suspect gave up and jumped into another vehicle waiting in the parking lot. Smith admits it may not have been the wisest thing to do.

Fashion backlash

First lady Melania Trump came under fire for wearing a $51,000 Dolce & Gabbana floral jacket in Italy. Critics noted that the value almost equals the median income — $55,775 — for an American family. They say such opulence is just one of many inconsistencies with the president’s campaign promise to focus on everyday workers.

‘Hail Hydra’

Images of President Donald Trump with his hands on a glowing orb are lighting up social media. Trump, on his trip to the Middle East, joined Saudi King Salman bin Abdulaziz and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi in placing hands on an orb to officially open a Saudi center for combating extremism. And what fun folks had on Twitter, especially tweeters who know a thing or two about comic book villains and sci-fi evil-doers.

Poppies. Poppies. Poppies

“With poison in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell.” So said the Wicked Witch of the West. Well, authorities in Catawba County, North Carolina, recently seized an acre of poppy plants valued at about $500 million. The AP reported a person who answered a narcotics investigator’s knock on the door said, “I guess you’re here about the opium.” Authorities arrested one person whom they charged with manufacturing and trafficking by possession.

Bear claws and doughnuts

Doughnut-makers in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, discovered their delivery vehicle damaged in a bear attack — and they know why. The owners of the Moose Watch Cafe found their Ford Focus with claw and paw marks and missing a bumper one morning, and they are certain the bear caught a scent of what usually is inside the trunk. A police officer confirmed the trunk smelled like doughnuts — and said a cop should know. The cafe marked the occasion by selling bear claws.

Polly wants a chocolate?

Mojang, the makers of Minecraft, will be updating the popular video game in response to an outcry over in-game parrots eating chocolate. People protested that in the game, players breed parrots by feeding the birds chocolate chip cookies. The concern is that kids might feed real world birds chocolate, which can be toxic. Minecraft responded by saying it will change what the birds eat. As for confusing kids about how parrots breed? Well …

From: http://www.wisconsingazette.com/blogs/wigwag-north-carolina-poppies-a-sperm-thermos-and-more/article_b952e0ea-4798-11e7-8814-2ba682198930.html

Noise

I moved about 3-1/2 years ago.  I'm literally inches within Mount Pleasant.  To my east are a small field and a school.  The school is in Racine.  And when school is in session, there is almost non-stop screaming all day.  I guess every hour is somebody's recess, but I've never heard a noisier bunch of brats.  I've even come to recognize some of the particular screamers.  There is a young girl who has the most ear- piercing scream, and she does it the entire time she's outdoors.  No long after she goes in, out comes "the murderer."  This young gentleman screams like a monster and chases around other kids.  They, of course, scream.

So, anyway, the school year is over and the school is quiet.  It doesn't matter.  I now live on top of a hill and all of the city's noise pollution can be heard here.  Ironically, it was much quieter living on Main St., south of downtown.  For some reason, every loud motorcycle and "hot" car drives by on our street.  They race like hell up the hill (with no knowledge of who  is at the top) and then race back down it.  To me, the hill is one big traffic hazard. You always take it easy when cresting a hill because you don't know what's on the other side.  Apparently the drivers of Mount Pleasant have x-ray vision.  I've seen so many near misses that I'm very surprised no one has been killed yet.

I also hear every siren activated in Racine or Mount Pleasant.  Again, I guess this is because I live on top of a hill now.  Wow.  We have a lot of sirens.  It never stops.  I hear all of the traffic noise off of Ohio St, and a lot off of Hwy 31.

Everyone here drives 50 mph all the time.  I'm used to sledding around at 20-25 mph on tight city streets.  I know I'm a traffic hindrance here, but I don't care.  The speed limit sign says 35 mph, not 50 mph.  Right now they're doing highway work on Hwys 31 and 20.  It's a super fucking mess.  (Almost forgot to mention the air traffic at Batten Airport. A helicopter just reminded me.)  I didn't like the high speeds when I moved here and I'm not real happy with the construction mess we have now  .(Just listened to a motorcycle cresting the hill.)  My housing specialist talked about a residential neighborhood where you could take walks and enjoy nature.  Bullshit.

Don't get me wrong.  I like living in Mount Pleasant.  The cops are much. much nicer here  There's no long lines at my voting location.  And there's half a dozen grocery stores within a mile radius.  There's no real bus service, so you need a vehicle to live here.  Or a trusted friend.  And don't forget the earplugs.