Friday, April 7, 2017

Four for Fridays!

I just can not believe that it is Friday already. It feels like we just came home from up north and trying to get the house in order. Also a next weekend is Easter already and we will be going back up north again.

Here are your questions-

1) What is the first game show you remember watching on t.v.?

2) What game show do you watch on t.v.?

3) What is the worst game show you have ever seen on t.v.?

4) What game show would you like to be on?

Have a great weekend and enjoy the nice weather we are going to have.

Open Blog - Friday


Oh, hell yes!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hi, gang!  How are you?  I'm demented.  This damp, gray weather is getting to me.  Come on, it's April already.  Enough with the snow and ice and freezing weather.  Daffodils and tulips are popping up everywhere.  The Winter of 2016-17 was a bust.  Now please leave.  Spring needs some room to grow.

John Dickert is resigning.  Or not.  He won't give a specific date. I suspect it will be a day or two before the FBI announces indictments against him.  God, I hope so.  I don't want to believe that lies and cons pay off.  Does he get any sort of retirement money from the city when he retires from lying and stealing?  Gee, I can't believe he'd ever stop.  John Dickert means skullduggery.  He means unfair labor practices and lies, lies, lies.  When confronted with a lie, he lies again.  Maybe we should start a nationwide contest to find the lyingest mayor in the USA.  It would be a great event.  It would bring people from all over the USA to Racine.

But, noooo.  Dickert would never allow it.  There's thousands of money-making schemes for Racine, but Dickert won't allow them because he doesn't get a piece of the action or they embarrass him or both.  Watch some TV shows and get some ideas.  The search for a new city administrator should have been handled in this way,  but Dickert needed a hand-picked criminal to fill the post.  He will run the city whenever Dickert eventually steps down.  Kind of scary, isn't it?  A non-elected, non-Racinean running the city, I'm sure at Dickert's behest.  Oh my, isn't there some way to prevent this constitutional violation?

All sorts of people are leaving their city positions all of a sudden.  That seems to indicate that something big is coming down the pike that would have knocked their lying asses off of the rails of good government.  I hope that the FBI tracks down every single one of you pieces of shit and prosecutes to the fullest capacity.  Lying liars deserve Lying Liars Court, where everyone lies all of the time and the defendants don't have a chance.

Unless, of course, if your last name is Johnson.  A billionaire pedophile.  That's the perfect symbol for Racine.  Absolutely PERFECT!  Racine hates its children and putting this monster on the loose amongst them should assure some results.  Maybe he could visit every class in RUSD to make his picks.  Oh, the possibilities are endless.

Of course, that's if you tell the truth.  When you lie, the possibilities continue to narrow down until you find yourself lying to protect your lies, right lying John?

Thank you for reading my blog today.  I love my readers.  I love my commentators.  I love just about everybody except for criminals, caught or otherwise.  Thank you for stopping by to give my blog a look.  I hope you return.  I'm here every Wednesday (almost).  I'm considering a run for mayor if Dickert ever really steps down.

Why are we bankrupting the city to build apartments and an arena? Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

I thought Easter was this Sunday, but Ms. Tender Heart Bear straightened me out: it's next Sunday.  This Sunday is Palm Sunday.  That's the day when Catholic priests check the palms of members to see if any fuzz is growing there, indicating masturbation.  Man, you can't put one by the Church, can you?
__________________________
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If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday


Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

"Fock It To Me"

From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 1 hour ago
 
 
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? You know, what with these despotic days we’re having in the Land of the Free, sometimes a guy or gal really has to take a break from watching the news, reading the news, listening to the news, thinking about the news. And so the other night I drifted on the ocean of channels flooding my TV and landed on reruns of the late ’60s numero uno hit, “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In.” And later, I dreamt about it. It went something like this:

A man and his dog are shipwrecked on a deserted island. After a few days he decides to reconnoiter the island. He discovers that the only other inhabitants are sheep. He recalls how his farm buddies would brag how they would screw sheep for kicks and he says to himself: “I’ll never be that desperate.”

Sooooo, a few weeks pass and he can’t get those sheep out of his mind, so soon he’s sneaking up on the flock. Just as he’s about to pounce on a really cute one, his dog grabs his leg and won’t let go. He snaps to, and thanks the dog for keeping him from making a fool of himself. This same scene happens every night for a month and the guy is really getting pissed at the dog.

Suddenly one day, the man spies a life raft bobbing in the surf. In the raft is a beautiful young girl near death. He takes her back to his hut revives her and nurses her to health. After a few days the girl is feeling fine, and that evening a rush of gratitude sweeps over her.

She confronts the man: “I owe you my life. I’m yours forever. I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?”

“Anything!!”

And the guy says, “OK, hold that dog for ten minutes!” Ba-ding!

[8th note] Da Da Da da-da Da [8th note]

Two old friends meet each other on the street. The one says to the other, “What brings you my way today, after so long?” The other says, “I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law.” The one says, “I’m sorry to hear the news. But why is your face scratched all over?” And the other says, “The burial was difficult. She put up a hell of a fight.” Ba-ding!

[8th note] Da Da Da da-da Da [8th note]

Four retired guys are walking down a street in Sun City, Ariz. They turn a corner and see a sign that says “Old Timer’s Bar: ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!” So they go inside, and the old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you! What’ll it be, gentlemen?”

The bar seems to be fully stocked, so the men all ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis—shaken not stirred—and says, “That’ll be 10 cents each, please.”

The four men can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced and the bartender says, “That’s 40 more cents, gents.” They pay up but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They’ve each had two martinis, and so far spent less than a dollar. One of the men says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

Bartender says, “Here’s my story. I’m a retired tailor from Brooklyn, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $50 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime—wine, liquor, beer, all the same.”

The four men sipped their martinis and couldn’t help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn’t have a drink in front of them, and hadn’t ordered anything the whole time they were there. One man gestures at the three without drinks and asks the bartender, “What’s up with them?” Bartender says, “They’re from Wisconsin. They’re waiting for happy hour.” Ba-ding!

[8th note] Da Da Da da-da Da [8th note]

So this teacher walks to the blackboard one day and notices someone had written the word “penis” in tiny letters. She turns to the class, scans the faces for a guilty one, no such luck, so she quickly erases the highly offensive word and begins class.

Next day, teacher walks into class and notices in larger letters this time, that word “penis” on the blackboard again. She looks around the classroom for the culprit unsuccessfully, so erases the word and begins another butt-boring lesson. And every day for a week, teacher sees the same word on the blackboard, written larger than the day before. Her prosecutorial efforts remain constant.

Finally comes the day the teacher enters but instead of seeing “penis” on the blackboard, reads the following, “Hey Teach’, lesson for the day: The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.” Ba-ding!

[8th note] Da Da Da da-da Da [8th note]

Say good night, Artie. “Good night, Artie” ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.



"NASA at Saturn: Cassini's Grand Finale"



Published on Apr 4, 2017

"The final chapter in a remarkable mission of exploration and discovery, Cassini's Grand Finale is in many ways like a brand new mission. Twenty-two times, NASA's Cassini spacecraft will dive through the unexplored space between Saturn and its rings. What we learn from these ultra-close passes over the planet could be some of the most exciting revelations ever returned by the long-lived spacecraft. This animated video tells the story of Cassini's final, daring assignment and looks back at what the mission has accomplished.

"The Cassini mission is a cooperative project of NASA, ESA (the European Space Agency) and the Italian Space Agency. The Jet Propulsion Laboratory, a division of the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, manages the mission for NASA's Science Mission Directorate, Washington. For more information about Cassini's Grand Finale, please visit https://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/grandfinale"

"Babysitting dog never had to be taught how to love baby(Charlie the beagle)"

Stranger than Fiction

(AP) - Steve Eve, 40, of Gladstone, AZ was recently confronted by a mother bear with two cubs while he was out camping.  "I peed my shorts," Eve says.  "I didn't move and I didn't even realize that I was pissing."

The bear seemed very interested in Eve's wet shorts, then she gave a snort and ran off with her cubs.  After some experimenting, Eve realized that all the bears he tested were driven off by his urine.  He would pee onto some rags in a Ziploc bag and head out.  As soon as he saw a bear, he unlocked the Ziploc bag and threw the pee-soaked rags at it.  Every single one was driven off.

Eve is now marketing his urine as a bear deterrent.  He calls it "Steve's Pee."

Eve says, "Never go out into the wilderness without a bottle of Steve's Pee, or take me along."  Eve says that if you take him along, he will provide his own beer, but you must provide the food.

Our Trip Up North!

This past weekend Drew and I went up north to help my older daughter move from her friends house to her new apartment. My son and his family, and a friend of my kids helped her move also. With everyone's help it really went easy. We did have one mishap that was something being handed to Drew and he pulled a muscle in his shoulder but he is doing good. In between packing the truck and going to her new apartment we had to wait to get the key so we had  a picnic at a park.

We did spend the weekend at Drew's parents and we did get to sit and talk with them. We had a good time and we were able to see his sister and brother in law too. I just feel bad because the time we have with them is short but we try to make the most of it with them.

Here are some pictures to share.

                      This is the sunrise Saturday morning on the way to move my daughter.

                                            Everyone sitting and having lunch at the park.

                                                                The Grandkids eating.

                               The Grandkids moving their aunt into her new apartment.

                                            Our Granddaugher inside the moving truck.   
                                       
                                                 Our Grandson inside the moving truck.




Open Blog - Tuesday