Friday, January 11, 2019

Four for Fridays!

Good morning everyone I hope your having a good week. Drew has been working ten hour days this week and believe it or not he actually has the weekend off. here are your questions.

1) With this crazy weather have you been hibernating?

2) Have you come down sick with the weather?

3) Has the weather made you just want to stay in bed?

4) When it is cold out what do you do?

Have a great weekend!

"Elwood, Illinois (Pop. 2,200), Has Become a Vital Hub of America’s Consumer Economy. And It’s Hell."

Elwood, a gateway to six major rail lines, has seen the emergence of immense warehouse projects from the country’s biggest companies.  
"The rural town south of Chicago is now a crucial stop for Amazon, Wal-Mart, IKEA, Home Depot, and other giant retailers. Developers had promised growth and good jobs. So why is everyone so miserable?"

Read more:

Open Blog - Friday

Time for a fish fry.

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

The End of DIY Car Repair, Why New Cars are So Hard to Work On

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my merry munchkins! How are you? As I write this, the sun is trying to peek out, but for the most part the days have been a winter gray. What's been abundantly missing is the s-word. (Shhhh! Don't say it too loud.) The lack of it is disastrous for the wildlife and the landscape. What can you do? I think it's the result of climate change. The weather is screwed up everywhere. Glaciers and arctic areas are melting. Scientists are discovering permafrost uncovered, and melting. (Not so perma-,eh?) Much of the worst of our winters has disappeared. Nature has difficulty responding quickly. A hundred species a day go extinct. We're all going to hell. 

It looks like the Green Bay Packers are hiring Matt LaFleur, offensive coordinator for the Tennessee Titans, as their new head coach. Oh boy. That still doesn't help the problem of an injury prone quarterback. Give Rodgers some coaching position. Try to dump him. Groom a new quarterback, one that doesn't get his bell rung in every game. Or else put a steel cage around Rodgers.

Speaking of steel cages, have you seen this travesty yet? The man kept one of his daughters in a kennel cage. His sentence? Well, after the derelict Judge Nielsen dropped four felonies against him, he ended up with probation. Children in Racine are just so much meat. Everyone knows it, everyone tries to hide it, and it spills out regularly. Judge Nielsen deserves to be put in a kennel cage. What kind of monster is he? My God.

I wonder if Foxconn took into consideration the effect that just their announcements have had on local labor and supplies. Everything has gone way up in cost, and even if you can afford it, you can't find it. Will this slow down the progress of Foxconn in building their factories? I would assume so. The stresses that such an operation inflict upon our local economy are telling. It's kind of like the gold rush in the wild West. Every man for himself! Soon, there will be gunfire over something. Welcome to the USA!

We have a new governor in Wisconsin, Tony Evers. He says he's going to veto the poop out of a lot of the so-called “lame-duck legislation” that the Republicans enacted. Oh boy. Another fight. Nationally, Trump picks fights left and right. Half the government is shut down because of his fight with Democrats over The Wall. His fight with China has resulted in trade wars that are hurting both sides. Everyone is fighting someone. What happened to the love generation? Boy, that “revolution” didn't last long.

I once held the door to a fast food restaurant open for an elderly gentleman and his wife. His eyes met mine and he said, “The world is changing.” I said, “I know.” I should have added that I'm not going to change for the sake of change. Let the world change. I'll still have manners and dignity. As will SeƱor Zanza and Junior.  Or I'll slap them silly.

Here's a funny from Lewis Black on drinking in Wisconsin:

I love you, one and all.  If you need help, contact:

Enjoy the "warm" weather.  Take a walk.  Say "hi" to your neighbors.  Pet a dog.  Chase a cat.  Wave to motorists.  Don't get beat up.
Please donate:  If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday

Happy Wednesday.

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

The Eyes Have It

From The Shepherd Express:

Jan. 08, 2019
4:26 p.m.

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So yeah yeah, there was no regular Shepherd issue last week and if you enjoyed my absence, you’re in luck ’cause come next issue I’ll be on a week’s medical leave on account of having one cataract carved out of an eyeball—the other one due to be scraped out in February sometime I’m guessing, what the fock.
And you bet I’m sure as heck looking forward to this schmutz-removal, so much that I’ve been on the inter-focking-net pricing tin cups and canes so that when my procedure somehow gets botched, I’ll have the necessary means to earn a living.
So right now, I’m at the Shepherd office to pick up a couple, three items, whip out this essay and check the mail since I haven’t been here for a while. And lo and behold, I got a package from my would-be guardian angel El Jefe out of Maryland, the “Old Line State,” containing a fabulous tub of Old Crow, I kid you not.
God bless the Jef’ because the Crow is the only thing I got for Christmas that I asked for. Once again this year, Santa, the fat fock, did not deliver to me the busload of Vegas showgirls I asked for. Nor did he deliver the personal butler I requested, the one who would keep me seasonally sartorially correct, manage my daily schedule such as it is, and make me a nice egg sandwich now and then.
So I really ought to cut this essay short and commence taste-testing the Old Crow to make sure it hasn’t gone bad. But before I do, I also got to tell you I noticed I received a letter postmarked sometime before Christmas. The writer asked me for advice, what the fock. He wrote:
Hey Artie, the wife wants a new puppy for Christmas. I know they don’t sell them at your Best Buy or Old Navy. Any idea where I should go?
The letter even contained a self-addressed stamped envelope for my reply. Well, Christmas has come and gone, hasn’t it. Had I been able to reply in a timely fashion, this is what I would’ve wrote:
Yeah, I’ve got an idea where you should go. How ’bout Divorce Court? Full disclosure: My scariest thought is whether or not animals get to go to heaven. For christ sakes, that’s all a guy like me needs is to spend his entire focking life busting his butt, finally gets puking sick, croaks, walks through the Pearly Gates and the first thing that happens is he steps right smack-dab into one heaping, heaving pile of dog-doo. Praise the lord.
And this is supposed to be for eternity ever-after? I’ll tell you’s, I want to be buried with a rolled-up newspaper so that when I’m shaking hands with St. Peter and some canine starts humping my leg, I can give it one good ol’ whack right across the goddamn snout.
I pray they must go to the other place, ’cause spending a couple, three eternities in the company of household pets and assorted animals sure sounds like focking hell to me. Or at least that these creatures would have their own animal heaven where they could all go and sniff each other’s butts and leave mine alone. That I could live with ’cause when it comes to other species—your animal and insect societies to name two—you can call me a “specie-ist,” but I firmly believe in a “separate, the hell with equal” kind of arrangement, you betcha.
So, before I go, I really ought to close-up Art’s Ba-ding! Boutique now that the holidays are mercifully focking kaput. But I see I’ve got one item left, so take it if you can use it. It’s yours:
A very spiritual and holy priest dies and is swept up to heaven. St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates, and says, “Hello Father, welcome to Heaven! You are very well known here, and as a special reward because you are such a devout man, we’re going to grant you anything you wish even before we enter the Kingdom. What can I grant you?”
And the priest says, “I am a great admirer of the Virgin Mother. I’ve always wanted to talk to her.” St. Pete nods his head to one side, and who should approach the priest but the Virgin Mary!
The priest is overcome with joy and says, “Mother, I have always been a great admirer of yours and followed your life as best I could. I have studied everything I could about you—every painting and portrait ever made of you, and I’ve noticed without fail that you are portrayed bearing a wistful expression. Forever I’ve wondered what it was that made you seemingly so melancholy.” And Mother Mary says, “Honestly, I was really hoping for a girl.” Ba-ding!
That’s it. See you next time, I hope, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.


Open Blog - Tuesday

Happy Tuesday.

Monday, January 7, 2019

New Car

On December 19th Drew and  I got in a car accident with our 2011 Ford Escape XLT on Main St. and Yougt after delivering Christmas cookies. I was waiting for a car to make a left turn then the car made the left turn and another car hit us in the back on the passenger side of the car. The side air bags came down and Drew's glasses flew onto the dashboard. Our car ended up on the double yellow lines in the middle of the street and the other car ended up on the grass. Come to find out the jerk had no insurance so our insurance paid for a rental car. We are so thankful we gave my daughter our HHR so Drew called her and she came and got us. We are fine.

On January 2nd we got a 2009 Ford Escape XLT with 56,000 miles it is gray. Yes it is a couple years older and has everything the same we had in the other one. We both like this kind of car so this is what we looked for. This time we did not get it from the Ford dealership on Washington Ave in Racine. They did try to sell us a 2009 Ford Escape with 106,000 miles on it for the same price and was forcing a Ford Taurus X on us for the same price this think is like a boat and we kept saying no. I wanted to choke these people so bad. We told them that we would think it over and call them back. So Drew and I picked the one that we have and we got it from Budget Motors of Wisconsin in Kenosha. I did call the dealership back and told them we decided on this one and not to call us back at all.

First picture is from the accident and the second one is the new car.

Open Blog - Monday