Saturday, March 14, 2009
"California laughed. Look at California now."
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynn, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10
Martin is wise beyond his years
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Aww heck, gotta let this one squeeze in here before I head to bed
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, 'It's Lent'.
In tears, she sobbed, 'Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?'
Thursday, March 12, 2009
GLOBE at Night is a citizen science campaign to raise awareness of light pollution and collect data on how bright the night sky is at various locations around the world. Anyone can participate and contribute data (and it is a good project to get students involved in, teachers!)
The procedure is simple. Go outside on a clear night from March 16th to the 28th and find the constellation Orion in the southwest. The GLOBE at Night website has magnitude charts (which I have included below...click to embiggen).
If you have a bright sky with a lot of light pollution, you might see something like the magnitude 1 or 2 chart. If you are lucky and live in a dark site, you would see the magnitude 5 or 6 chart. Simply select which chart most closely matches what you can see in the sky. That's your data. You then go to the web and report your data. The report form will be up on March 16th when the campaign starts. You will also be asked for your latitude and longitude as well as the local time. You can find your latitude and longitude using a variety of online tools or a GPS system. Once you have entered your data, you can zoom in on your city and see your data as well as data collected by others around you.
You can (and are encouraged) to take lots of observations. We need lots of measurements in suburbs, city centers, parks, the countryside, everywhere. I take some nightly bike rides during GLOBE at Night and make measurements every half mile, taking different routes each time. I have a small GPS system I use to track my runs and use an MP3 voice recorder to record my data. I can canvas dozens of square miles over the course of a few nights (I know night bike rides can be iffy in Racine this time of year!)
So why should you care about dark skies? Won't decreasing light make the night more dangerous? Well, lights pointing up = energy wasted. The least we can do is shield lights and be sure they point downward. Second, very bright lights create lots of glare to the point that too much light can decrease safety. Glare can make it difficult to see pedestrians on the street and stop signs. Wasting energy and money and decreasing safety makes no sense.
Poor lighting effects wildlife in many ways. It can disrupt mating patterns of certain animals, disorient birds, and we know they can attract insects! Research is well underway on the effects of excess nighttime lighting on human health including studies indicating increased cancer risks.
Fortunately, this is a problem that can be solved and save money at the same time. Lighting companies make lots of high quality, well shielded lights that cost no more than poorly designed fixtures. Racine's Ruud Lighting is one of these companies. They are members of the International Dark Sky Association and have many well designed lights. Many cities are passing lighting ordinances and will be installing shielded street lights as their old ones wear out. The International Dark Sky Association has sample lighting ordinances and lots of information on good lighting design.
The first steps are raising awareness and collecting data. So please take a few minutes the next couple of weeks and contribute a little piece to this ongoing project!
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
This one's for Beejay who commented in my previous blog about seeing the full Moon rise last night. The Moon was rising over the Rincon Mountains on the east side of Tucson as I rode my scooter home after my after-work run. I saw the Moon from when it firste peeked above the moutains. The Moon illusion was in full force (the illusion that the Moon appears larger near the horizon). I have always thought the Moon illusion is more pronounced over the mountains.
March's full Moon is known as the Worm Moon. Guess it signals when the worms come up after the winter. Here is a picture I snapped when I got home.
And here it is through the Galileoscope. I used a different camera tonight and like the results better. I literally just took a cheap HP point and shoot digital camera on a tripod and pointed it into the eyepiece (although it is tougher to get it lined up than you might think! It has to be really well centered and pointing straight into the eyepiece...if it's off just a little bit, it doesn't work).
Here’s a prediction: old man winter will go down for the count sooner rather than later. I see little buds peeking and poking out here and there. Which reminds me, I’d like to apologize to Mr. Hale-bopp for posting a silly comment on his blog about the National Phenology Network earlier. I made a dumb pun by bringing up phrenology. That was uncouth of me. I am sorry. I have removed the offending comment.
Our first message today arrived as an email from Mr. Logjam, entitled “Getting cursed:”
Dear Madame Zoltar,
I have been honored to have my postings of And From the "(whatever)" Dept..... to be featured on the sidebar (or any other bar for that reason) here on our illustrious JT Irregulars Page. I did notice however, my blog on the sidebar is above yours. Now I hope that doesn't upset you and can I be assured that I won't be turned into a frog or have a wart placed somewhere on my body?
Yours in JTI journalistic peerdom,
My dear Mr. Logjam, why in the world would I curse you? If I were going to do such a despicable thing, I would direct my disdain toward whoever placed your blog above mine in the Features section, not you . . . entirely . . .
Hee-hee, I’m teasing. Don’t worry, I won’t harm you.
Our next query comes from Mr. RWWackoStu, who writes:
Dear Madame Zoltar,
I hope you and the other Irregulars can understand that I have been busy with the election stuff but do check in every day, and Friday Videos will be back soon.
Now to my question. How do you see me doing in the Village Board Election on April 7th? Should I be planning a victory party, or a sorrow drowning party? Can you also predict the weather on Saturday for my literature distribution?
Dear Mr. RWWackoStu, of course I understand how difficult it is to campaign for public office. My own campaign for mayor must take at least one or two hours a week. Unfortunately, I have made it my policy not to publicly predict the outcome of local elections. I do not want my predictions to affect turnout at the polls. Once people already know who will win the election, there is little incentive for them to vote. And that is un-American.
I can tell you however, that Saturday’s weather will be delightful. Stick that in your windsock and shove it, National Weather Service. ;)
The glamorous Ms. Beejay sent the next email, entitled, “You knew it would happen:”
I am pleased to let you know that I did receive a large credit to my MasterCard from the resort in Barbados. My blood pressure would have come down sooner, had I known this would happen! I know you must have placed a spell on the tour company to accomplish this and I do thank you.
Now tell me, my travel agent said there would be more to come. Is there? Or do you think I am to be satisfied with this large, but somewhat measly amount when you consider all the pain and suffering I had to go through listening to my two adult nieces berating some poor unsuspecting bartender about the problems?
Dear Ms. Beejay, I am delighted that you are pleased with your MasterCard credit. It is not difficult to influence simple minds.
As for being satisfied with what you’ve already received, I want you to know that I’ve never been fully satisfied in my adult life. I think that every woman should expect, and go for, more. More of what you want, when you want it, where you want it. Go for it, Ms. Beejay, expect the best. And take a few more twirls on the dance floor while you’re at it.
Our final message today comes from my dear friend, Mr. SER, in a missive entitled, “retransmit:”
I appreciate your work on trying to send me the winning numbers to the lottery.
As you listed in you last post, “I will be transmitting the numbers to you throughout the course of the day. I have a sort of auto-dialer for brain wavelengths. All you need do is relax, clear you mind, and let the numbers seep in.
“I’ll also expect the customary 10% donation of your winnings to Madame Zoltar’s School for the Psychically Challenged.”
Unfortunately, I can only receive on UHF (Ultra High Frequency) channel 600.06. Can you please adjust your auto-dialer to transmit on that frequency?
As for the customary 10%...I think 15% would be much better once it happens.
Oh my, Mr. SER, I am so sorry. My message must have been received by that lovely woman who won the Badger 5 the other day. At least all was not for naught. Thank you for upping my school’s percentage of your winnings. The poor underprivileged dears will greatly appreciate it.
I will do specifically as you have instructed and transmit solely on channel 600.06. As of this blog’s post time, 4 AM, I will be broadcasting the winning lottery numbers to you via UHF waves. Let’s hope that there are no unscrupulous ham radio operators out there to intercept the signal.
That’s my blog for this week, my lovely friends. Don’t forget to transmit your questions, comments, and diatribes to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have a gorgeous week. And watch out for the green beer on Saturday.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
What I'm asking here is how can a creature that has been damned for eternity get time off from the promised damnation to do acts on earth? Logically it don't jive. You're either damned or you aren't. So, if your god damns something and the Devil lets em out, then the Devil can subvert god's orders. Again, the logic of all powerful don't pan out.
Just an atheist wondering how each religion manages to look past their own foibles while condemning all others.
I just got back in from a short session with the Galileoscope. I put a webcam on the back and took a couple of videos of the Moon. here is my favorite.
The Moon is near full again as it was for my previous session (purely coincidental...I want to try this near first quarter!) which means you don't get lots of nice shadows from mountains and craters. I wish Youtube would do a better job of processing the video as some neat features are more prominent in the original. I want to point out the three craters at the top of the Moon near the end of the video. Look closely on the bottom one and you can see its central peak!
Remember to order your Galileoscope!
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicst Blog.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Phenology is the study of recurring patterns of plants and animals in nature. Things like when ou get the first sprouts of plants in the spring, when birds migrate, when flowers bloom, etc. Many of these phenomea are very sensitive to small changes in temperature and can be indicators of climate change.
Monitoring these patterns all over the country is a task that is difficult for researchers to do. They don't have the funding or manpower, so this is where the citizen science effort comes in. They currently have a list of over 200 plants that they want to monitor. You can search by state to find out which plants you can monitor. They plan on adding animal monitoring in 2010 (which I think would be more fun for me personally...I am not as much of a plant person). You can make your own observations of these plants and submit them to the database, contributing a few points of data to scientific research.
In order to get significant results, you need to monitor plants over a long period of time. Fortunately, many gardeners keep meticulous records of their gardens. If you are a serious record keeping gardener, they want to see your records as well. This extra data will give the researchers a longer baseline. This type of research can make a good class project as well (teachers, I am talking to you!)
One of the interesting things they talked about was the relationships between different plants and animals. The same temperature change has different effects on different plants and animals that may have evolved an interdependent relationship. If the flowers bloom before the bees are ready to polinate them (or after) then both species can be negatively effected.Climate change can have these types of unexpected consequences. Studying these patterns will help us understand the complex interactions between different plants and animals.
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
I have an adapter that is wired for two lines coming out of a single jack (not two devices into a single line, but two separate lines). Suddenly, it does not work. I went to replace it and found the adapter for two separate lines. I plug it in and only the main phone line works. Why would this be? Does this mean I should climb up in the attic (85 degrees here today and tomorrow) and see if the other number wires have come loose or is there something else I could check first .... I tried to find one of those phone line testers, but Home Depot doesn't have one.
Any assistance would be appreciated.
Australian Man Wrestles Kangaroo Intruder
Sunday, March 08, 2009
CANBERRA, Australia — When a dark intruder smashed through his bedroom window and repeatedly bounced on his bed, Beat Ettlin was initially relieved to discover it was a kangaroo.
"My initial thought when I was half awake was: it's a lunatic ninja coming through the window," the 42-year-old told The Associated Press on Monday. "It seems about as likely as a kangaroo breaking in."
But his relief was short-lived. Moments later, he heard his 10-year-old son Leighton Beman scream from bed: "There's a 'roo in my room!"
"I thought: This can be really dangerous for the whole family now," Ettlin said.
The extraordinary ordeal for the family of four began at 2 a.m. Sunday in their house in the upmarket Canberra suburb of Garran.
Ettlin, a chef originally from the Swiss city of Stans, wrestled the thrashing and bleeding 90 pound marsupial out the front door.
"I had just my Bonds undies on. I felt vulnerable," he said, referring to a popular Australian underwear brand.
The kangaroo, which Ettlin said was around his height, 5 foot 9 inches, left a trail of blood through the house and claw gouges in the wooden frame of his bed.
Ettlin, who was left wearing just his shredded underpants and with scratch marks on his leg and buttocks, described himself as "lucky."
The kangaroo vanished into a nearby forest from where it likely came. The family reported the intrusion to police and to wildlife authorities.
The animal hopped a fence to reach the family's backyard. The family suspects it felt trapped and tried to escape the yard through the bedroom window which is about 5 feet above the ground. It was likely cut by the broken glass.
Kangaroos rarely harm humans, but when they do, it is usually because they feel cornered. They have been known to disembowel people with the claws of their powerful hind legs.
Although it had been a dangerous and harrowing experience, Ettlin's wife could see a funny side to the family's unusual predicament.
"I think he's a hero: a hero in Bonds undies," Verity Beman, 39, said of her husband
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I should have posted this a couple of days ago. Tonight, March 8th, Saturn is at opposition. Opposition is generally the closest approach to Earth and the best time to observe a planet. Don't worry if you miss tonight...Saturn will be very well positioned for observing and impressive for several weeks (and Saturn is always impressive).
Opposition gets its name due to the fact that Saturn and the Sun are exactly opposite in the sky. When the Sun goes down, Saturn rises. At midnight, Saturn is highest in the sky and it sets as the Sun rises. If you could look at the solar system from above, the Sun, Earth and Saturn would form a straight line.
Saturn is easy to find. It is in the relatively bright constellation of Leo. Here is a finding chart for tonight (click to embiggen).
The backwards question mark is the head of Leo the Lion. A relatively bright star, Regulus, is at the bottom of Leo's body. Saturn is the bright yellow object beneath Leo's hindquarter.
If you can get a small telescope, you can see the rings. Try abot 50x magnification to start out. The rings are almost edge on right now, but they are still impressive. Saturn's rings appear edge on about ever 15 years, so enjoy this unique view of a think ring slicing the planet in half. Some people think this is a bad time to view Saturn, but I enjoy this unique view.
You should also see Saturn's brightest Moon, Titan. You may see a couple of other moons depending on the size of your telescope. To help you find the Moons, you can check out Sky and Telescope's Saturns Moon Applet. Simply type in your date and time and it will plot the positions of the brightest moons.It's cloudy here tonight, but I will be slapping a webcam on the back of my telescope when it clears to try and get some images later this week...stay tuned.
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Everyone seems to be going green these days. Now Jack Bauer is joining Al Gore in an unlikely crusade against global warming. 24 is attempting to be the first network televsion show to become carbon neutral. 24 will do the usual things such as increased recycling and buying carbon credits. To deal with the carbon created from the aforementioned car crashes and explosions, they are subsidizing a wind farm in India.
Try this out for the next season: We have perfected clean coal technology and are sequestering all carbon from coal and natural gas plants. A terrorist cell is plotting to release all the carbon resulting in catastropic worldwide global climate change. Only one person can stop it: Jack Bauer!I would tune in for that season!
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicst blog.
Last Friday, my son and I were out enjoying the mild weather that we were having that day. We decided to take the dog for a walk along the beach behind the lighthouse and Shoop Park. I was amazed by the snow and ice that was still on the lake. Antarctica as my son discribed it. I ventured out on the ice to take a few pictures. Be careful folks, there are a couple of weak spots!
Here's a site that has penny postcards from all 50 states organized by county:
Here's Racine: http://www.usgwarchives.org/wi/racine/postcards/ppcs-racine.html.
At first, his chemistry skills outweigh his knowledge of the drug business. Over time, he learns the trade and starts working with the big time dealers in Albuquerque.
The series is very well produces and Cranston (long known as a character actor) finally got a juicy lead role that he could sink his teeth into and delivered an acting tour de force in season one earning a Best Acting Emmy.
This show is not to be missed, so check it out!
A midlife crisis for Barbie? What's next, Pierced Barbie? How about Laid Off Barbie, complete with 26 weeks of unemployment compensation? Maybe a special Racine edition Sex Addict Barbie - you buy her, then she goes to rehab for 6 weeks.