Saturday, May 28, 2011

Ah....and such is life.

One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when I said to her, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."

She looked at me intently and said, "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

Bud Commercial

This has been around for awhile but it is a good reminder of what Memorial Day is all about!

Friday, May 27, 2011

You Might Be From Arizona If...

We had the Wisconsin version a while is the Arizona version (not my originals).

  • You buy salsa by the gallon.
  • Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags. And several chile ristras.
  • All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
  • You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.
  • Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los."
  • You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
  • You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
  • Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
  • You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.
  • You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
  • You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
  • You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
  • You can say 120 degrees without fainting.
  • Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
  • You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
  • The pool can be warmer than you are.
  • You can make instant sun tea.
  • People will drive more than 100 miles just to see snow.
  • You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
  • People with black cars or black upholstery are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.
  • You know that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
  • The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
  • You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro," "Tempe," "Gila Bend," "San Xavier," "Canyon de Chelly," "Mogollon Rim," "Cholla," and "Ajo."
  • It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
  • Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 SPF is a joke, and you wear it just to go to the Circle K.
  • Hot-air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
  • No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
  • You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a difficult week. A three day weekend is on it's way and it couldn't come at a better time. Let's kick it off with some random questions...

1) If you could own a business, what kind of business would you run?

2) If you could change something in your past, what would you change?

3) Do you think there is life on other planets?

4) Do you know sign language?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

What is candy corn doing in that picture?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Soggy bread

Has anyone else noticed store bread is getting soggy? Almost either undone, or extra water to stretch the bread as it's sold by weight. Not talking about the bakery bread but the brand names.

School Vouchers


Earlier this month I ran a poll about support of “School Vouchers”. The results of this poll indicated people who voted where against school vouchers.

Today in the JSOnline, their results are opposite. You can read the article at

Poll measures support for school vouchers in Racine, Green Bay.

In the poll of voters in the Racine Unified School District, 55% said they would favor creating a school choice program for low and middle income children in Racine, while 33% said they opposed it. The partisan support skewed Republican, with 65% of Republican voters in favor, 46% of Democrat voters in favor, and 57% of independents indicating they would back the voucher program's expansion in their community.


Quality of care at Wheaton Franciscan-All Saints hospital

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

People of Walmart - Music Video

First, there was the website:
Now there is a song.
I assume the next step will be People of Walmart: The Movie.

Mardi gras in Wisconsin

Comic Side of Bin Laden

"The death of Osama bin Laden last Sunday has apparently damaged our relationship with al Qaeda. Al Qaeda has released a statement vowing to make America pay for bin Laden's death. Which - I'm pretty sure we did pay for his death. We paid for the whole thing and even took care of the funeral arrangements. Maybe a thank you would be nice." -Jimmy Kimmel

"Osama Bin Laden's supporters want to rename the Arabian Sea where his body was dumped Martyr Sea. Really? Martyr Sea? Hiding in your bedroom for six years? How about Chicken of the Sea?" -Jay Leno

"Osama bin Laden is in the ocean. How ironic. Once again surrounded by seals." -Jay Leno

"Osama bin Laden had money and telephone numbers sewn into his clothes. Apparently we got him just as he was on his way to summer camp." -Jay Leno

"Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'" -Craig Ferguson

"How about those Navy Seals. We're getting our money's worth there. They broke into Osama bin Laden's compound with 12-foot walls topped by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head." -David Letterman

"Apparently, members of Al Qaeda are online slamming the U.S. I don't understand why they're so upset. Everyone in Al Qaeda just got a promotion." -Craig Ferguson

"Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, 'the ultimate water boarding.'" -Jay Leno

"Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved." -Jay Leno

"Bin Laden lived in this compound in Pakistan with all of his wives for 6 years. So he did suffer." -David Letterman

"Bin Laden's wives didn't have it too looking at the pictures of the inside of the compound, it doesn't look like any of them EVER had to do housework.

Power pays

Curt Johnson's family is moving away. The JT is not allowing comments. Too bad. I see North Carolina has a 16 year old consent law. I'd have thought Curt would move to Alabama or Indiana where consent is 14 instead...

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my shivering sputzies! How are you? I’m beginning to think that Mr. OrbsCorbs is correct in his belief that Mother Nature is a contrarian who purposely sabotages my weather predictions. Oh dear. I do apologize on her behalf for the cool weather. I would appeal to her better nature, but I think that two words explain my apprehension: Japan earthquake. Talk about a temper! Enough said.

I’ll be blunt with you, my dears: I’m running late in writing my blog this week and I don’t have much to say. When a man enters your life, things can get very interesting, but also very time consuming. I swear, on occasion a man demands more attention than a child. Of course, there are rewards… (insert big smiley face here)… I would not continue in my relationship with Senor Zanza if it was one-sided. He is a perfect gentleman and a very gracious man. He is very intuitive and attentive to my needs and desires. Ooo-la-la! He is kind and generous, and very wise and worldly in the ways of romance. He is somewhat evasive about his past, though. Hmm. Well, no one is perfect, but I come darn close. No, oh my, tee-hee, that was a joke.

It’s just that your priorities shift when another person enters your life. I have to continue to operate Madame Zoltar® Enterprises™, parent Junior, head a household, manage my business and personal affairs, and still make time for Senor Zanza. We try to combine as many activities and as much time together as possible. For example, Senor Zanza loves to hang out at work, learning every detail of my operation. His appetite for knowledge is voracious. He wants to know everything about my business, so that he can help out whenever or wherever he may be needed. I really appreciate that.

I am so glad that Why Not? and Stoughe and their girls have arrived safe and sound in Racine. Hip-hip-hooray! Racine’s summer will be better for your presence. I hope you have a wonderful time here and create many happy memories to take back with you to Sweden. The Racine area has a lot of fun stuff to do. Unfortunately, we have our troubled areas, too. If you got a good grasp on things the last time that you were here, I don’t think much has changed. Be careful, be vigilant, be aware. Major events held downtown are usually family safe (except for that errant Ferris Wheel at Party on the Pavement last year – oh my!), as are any other well-established events and locales. The vast majority of Racinians are honest, hard-working people. Unfortunately, that fact is often overshadowed by the sensationalism of crime.

I know that I’ve grown less trusting of other people in Racine as the years have gone by. That, too, is unfortunate, but also a fact. Does that reflect the reality of life in Racine, or is it my misperception of reality that causes it? I don’t know. You tell me.

Thank you my lovely, lovely readers for spending some time with me this week. I can sense when someone reads my blog. It feels delightful. Thank you so much. I love you all. My, I sure rambled on for not having much to say.

Please send your insider stock trading tips and misheard lyric sheets to:

I swear, it will warm up sooner or later. Uh-oh, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Maybe now you-know-who will keep it artic throughout the summer. Please, I’m sorry Mother Nature, it was just a joke. Please have mercy and shine your love light on us once more. Naupathia!

A Follow up to KK's Protest Blog

This time there wasn't as many protesters but cops...gezzzz twice as many as last time, also lots of high school students this time marching back and forth and chanting 'recall walker'!

All Photos Property of SER/JTIrregulars - To purchase these picture write to

Open Blog - Wednesday

Pucker up!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Morning Grin........

A middle-aged man was asking advice from his trainer at the gym " I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine should I use? "

Trainer: " You should use the ATM machine just outside this gym ''

Guinea Pig....

Why do they call it a ‘Guinea Pig’?

They’re not Italian and they’re not pork!

The End Of The World Has Been Rescheduled For Oct. 21

"An Autumn Date for the Apocalypse"

"OAKLAND, Calif. — Here we go again. A California religious radio impresario who predicted — wrongly — that the end of the world would begin on May 21 revised his prophesy on Monday, saying now that the end is due in October.

"In a rambling, 90-minute speech, broadcast both online and on his stations, Harold Camping, whose Family Radio network paid millions of dollars to promote his prediction, said that he was stunned when the rapture did not happen on Saturday.

"'I can tell you very candidly that when May 21 came and went it was a very difficult time for me, a very difficult time,' said Mr. Camping, 89, a former civil engineer. 'I was truly wondering what is going on. In my mind, I went back through all of the promises God has made, all of the proofs, all of the signs and everything was fitting perfectly, so what in the world happened? I really was praying and praying and praying, oh Lord, what happened?'

"What he decided, apparently, was that May 21 had been 'an invisible judgment day,' of the spiritual variety, rather than his original vision of earthquakes and other disasters leading to five months of hell on earth, culminating in a spectacular doomsday on Oct. 21 — something he had repeatedly guaranteed. On Monday, however, Mr. Camping seemed satisfied with his new interpretation, which apparently spared humankind its months of torture for a single day of destruction."

Well, duh, of course, an invisible judgment day comes first. I thought everyone knew that.

Now we have a lot more time to party before the world really (no, really this time) ends. And there's not going to be any rolling time zone swath of destruction; it's going to happen all at once. The big unbang. That will show all those dummies who think that the world is going to end next year.

"The Red Wheelbarrow"

so much depends

a red wheel

glazed with rain

beside the white

--William Carlos Williams

"The Red Wheelbarrow is a poem by and often considered the masterwork of American 20th-century writer William Carlos Williams. The 1923 poem exemplifies the Imagist-influenced philosophy of “no ideas but in things.” This provides another layer of meaning beneath the surface reading. The style of the poem   forgoes traditional British stress patterns to create a typical “American” image.[1] "

"William Carlos Williams (September 17, 1883 – March 4, 1963) was an American poet closely associated with modernism and Imagism. He was also a pediatrician and general practitioner of medicine, having graduated from the University of Pennsylvania. Williams "worked harder at being a writer than he did at being a physician"; but during his long lifetime, Williams excelled at both.[1]"

Monday, May 23, 2011

"'Zombie Apocalypse' campaign crashes website"

"(Reuters) - A blog post by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that mentions a 'zombie apocalypse' as a lighthearted way to get Americans to read about preparing for hurricanes drove so much traffic that it crashed the website, the agency said on Thursday.

"The Zombie Apocalypse campaign is a social media effort by the CDC's Public Health and Preparedness center to spread the word about the June 1 start of hurricane season."

Read more:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention zombie blog page:

I think that's great. I'm sure there are many people who consider this an unfit use of tax dollars, but I like it. You never know when zombies might attack.

joke of the day

Having already downed a few power drinks, a woman turns to the guy on the stool next to her, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here, good looking, I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on. It doesn't matter to me. I just love it."

His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm in Congress too. What state are you from?"

Open Blog - Monday

Hallelujah! It's Monday!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Police Women from around the World

JTI Brewers Game and....

The VA sometimes gets complementary tickets to Brewers games. I have three tickets to the game Thursday. My sister cannot attend with my niece so I have two tickets for two lucky JTI folks. I'm open for getting there early for some tail gating, or just in time. I can grab a bite before we left if you aren't into tail gating. The only expense would be help with parking fees and your eats/drinks. I'll cover transportation and gas. These tickets are on the level with wheel chair access. Who wants to go?

Fenway Park: A Small Item Ticked Off the Bucket List

I would only describe myself as a casual baseball fan. I go to the occasional game and have a couple of teams I follow. However, one of the things I have wanted to do for a long time is attend a game at Fenway.

The Red Sox are not one of the teams I follow (nor are the Cubs who they played last night). I wanted to go for the park, for the history. There are only two classic ballparks left in the country (and I have already been to a few games at Wrigley). The new parks just don't quite have the same charm as the classics (I am happy to say I also went to Tiger Stadium and Yankee Stadium before they were replaced).

I walked down to Fenway last night. Much to my surprise, tickets were still available at the game day ticket sale window. They sell standing room tickets, but I sprung the extra $10 for a seat in the right field grandstand, lower level. I was sitting under the upper deck as you can see from the pic. At first, I thought about walking up top to look for a seat in the open but a breeze was kicking up and some fog/mist rolled in and I was happy to have the extra shelter. By the fifth inning, lots of people in the upper deck had left due to the weather but they played on.
The picture is from the first pitch ceremony. The man in the uniform who threw the first pitch is Lou Zamperini. He finished 8th in the 5000 meters at the 1936 Olympics. As a runner, I thought that was uber cool. He joined the air force in 1941, was shot down, spent 47 days adrift at sea before being captured by the Japanese. Amazing story. The woman was introduced as "The daughter or Red Sox legend Babe Ruth". Funny that I don't normally associate Babe Ruth with being a Red Sox legend.

Sponsorship is everywhere in the games. Even the game time temperature was "sponsored" by Dunkin' Donuts (funny, I thought the temperature just existed regardless of sponsorship!) This is the first time the Cubs have played at Fenway since the 1918 world series so the theme of the night was rolling back the clock to 1918. The teams wore throwback jerseys and the even put an image of a 1918 scorecard on the jumbotron (jumbotron circa 1918). No 1918 prices at the concession stands, though. Guess they can only rollback so much.

David Ortiz hit a home run (his 300th as a member of the Red Sox) over the green monster, something you want to see at Fenway. I thought about leaving after the seventh inning stretch with the Red Sox up 3-1. Glad I didn't as a wild top of the eight saw the Cubs score seven runs with two Red Sox errors thrown in (a misjudged fly ball was dropped and the Red Sox had a runner trapped between third and of their throws was errant which allowed two runs to score). Cubs went on to win 9-3.

So a little item has been checked off the bucket list, one that every baseball fan (even casual fans) should do.

Saturday Night Videos

As I was on my way off to to attended my girlfriend's youngest daughter's graduation party in Elkhorn, I found myself listening to Back Door Slam's first album, Roll Away. As I was explaining my girlfriend about what a phenomenal guitar player Davy Knowles was, I finding myself molding into that blues/jam band frame of mind. Yet, I wanted to do Davy Knowles justice with his live music. Now, I don't have any Back Door Slam live materiel in my collection, just recollection of seeing him in concert back in the summer of '09 at Summerfest.

After I returned home, I dug through YouTube on a search for some excellent live Knowles. Guess what I found? The very show I saw at Summerfest almost two years ago! Reeling back memories and getting stoked here, I was totally amazed to even FIND a show that I've been to. As I was watching the video, I noticed whomever was recording this show was sitting behind me and off to the right. (We were in the first row on the left) So, I didn't myself nor my companion in the vid, yet I did some familiar faces.

We DID get to meet Davy Knowles and his manager after show, thanks to our friend, Joe Heuer, the Rock and Roll Guru. Davy Knowles seems like a very humble young kid, unaffected by his recent fame. Really pleasant to hang with. My companion and I were thinking of staying to see Buddy Guy, who playing after wards, but we had to leave early to catch an early flight to California.

On the way home, I was in the mood for some Rolling Stones. This time, something off their mysterious classic Exile on Main Street. The Stone's most druggist and creative effort ever! Recorded in a dirty basement in France and smacked up on heroin, the Stones pulled off an album that was considered among the best in rock and roll per say.

As I was sifting through videos, I came across a local band I used to get into back in the '90's-Zoot Suit Boogie. Their guitarist Robert Allen Jr, held me captivate with his impressive hollowed bodied Eliphone guitar flowing through a tiny Fender amp playing the blues....