Friday, February 3, 2017

Four for Fridays!

I'm filling in for THB because she's feeling under the weather.  Here are your questions:

1)  Are you watching the Super Bowl?

2)  Do Daylight Saving Time changes bother you?

3)  What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

4)  Do you take after your mom or your dad?

Stay warm, Irregulars. 

Open Blog - Friday

Snoopy is quite the hoofer.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. America!  How are you?  Has anyone been thrown off of the weather roller coaster yet?  We go up, down, and all around.  We're going down tonight to a couple of days in the 20's, then back up into the 30's and 40's.  This stuff really wreaks havoc on the landscape.  I have a friend who fears for his daffodils and tulips coming up too soon on the south side of his house.  I told him to throw more mulch on the flowers beds, but he says he's done that almost every year and he doesn't want to create berms out of mulch.  So, if we can't regulate when our flowers appear, can you imagine the the thoughts of farmers?  What do they plant and when?  Our weather is so out of whack that you don't have to travel to Australia to have "summer in winter."  Just step outside.  It will either be very warm or be snowing.

Did you read about Mr. Mayor Lying John sputtering out his nonsense on illegal aliens? Mayor Dickert: 'Racine will not actively pursue undocumented immigrants'  Racine will also not actively pursue the criminals running and ruining our city.  They pronounce mighty statements, but don't do shit except wiggle deeper into your wallet. Mr. Mayor doesn't give a damn about immigrants.  He just wants to look good for the Journal Times.  If he had spent years waiting to enter the USA legally and gone through all the procedures to become a citizen, I think he might feel differently.  If he followed all of the rules, do you think he would be telling illegal aliens that they're welcome here?  My parents took years to enter the US legally from Romania.  Why should people who break the rules be given preference over those who follow the rules?  Only in Mr. Mayor's warped mind is that fair.  The criminals that Mr. Mayor so lovingly embraces are not so wanted by the people who live here.  My parents followed the rules.  Why the hell can't you?

The city is also wondering what to do about Horlick Dam: Residents look for answers on Horlick Dam replacement  I think a couple of sticks of dynamite would do the job quickly and inexpensively.  But, of course, we'll be pitched some extremely complicated resolution that costs at least $1 million.  And then it will run over budget.  And then the new dam won't work right.  Of course, I could be wrong.  It could be much worse than that.   

Today is the first day of February and tomorrow is Groundhog Day.  I say that when the groundhog pops his head out of his hole, we grab him and have him for dinner.  He's never been much of a weather forecaster, anyway.

Well, thank you for reading my blog today.  I love my readers and they love me.  We get together once a week and share the good and the bad.  That's what friends do.  Anyone can join in.  We're inclusive.  We want you.

What's the groundhog going to predict?  Ask:

Watch out for the occasional snow, or even rain, storm.  Just a little icing can send you sliding or skidding.  Be careful and safe.  We don't want to lose any Irregulars to winter, or anything else.  Enjoy the warn weather while it's here.  Does this mean snow in July?  I hope not.  I love you all.
Please donate:
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday

Good riddance to January.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

"Deport in a Storm"

 From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, last night as I fell asleep whilst waiting for the knock at the door that would begin my deportation process for the crime of working for a newspaper not particularly partial to President Trumpel-thin-skin, I had a Super Bowl nightmare, what the fock: Patriots, 31; Falcons, 27; ISIS, 44,632. Good lord! Should Tahiti or should Fiji be my choice of deportation destination? I needed to consult with my coterie over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school, where destined we were to rendezvous later to discuss the installation of our Super Sunday agenda.

But first, I be headed over to my favorite open-daily 23-hours and 59-minutes restaurant where a guy like me can get a jump-start on girding his loins in preparation for the day’s daily shit-storm to follow. Come along if you want, but you leave the tip. Let’s get going.

Bea: Hey there, Artie, nice to see you. What’s your pleasure?

Art: How ’bout a nice cup of the blackest, thickest and cheapest cup of whatever you’re calling plain-old American coffee today, thank you very kindly.

Bea: I’ve still got maybe a cup’s worth at the bottom of a pot from yesterday I could squeeze out for you, Artie.

Art: Nothing from last week left, Bea?

Bea: I’m afraid not, Artie.

Art: Then squeeze away, Bea. Squeeze away.

Bea: Can do, Artie. So what do you hear, what do you know.

Art: I know I’ve been reading a book called The Hidden Reality by some physical scientist who uses some fancy-schmancy mathematics to say there may be an infinite number of parallel universes where no possibility is inconceivable, even as we speak.

Bea: I wonder if there’s a universe where I work only 70 hours a week, make ends meet, can afford to get the health insurance, and know for sure that my Social Security will be there for me instead of for life-blood-sucking Wall Street bankers. That’s a universe I’d like to go to, Artie.

Art: That universe may exist, Bea. It would be the one with no Republicans. Natch’, the universe I’d most appreciate is where all the women are Marilyn Monroe and all the men are me.

Bea: Gary Cooper for me.

Art: I’d also like a universe where before the start of each session of Congress, by law they’re supposed to get the AV crew to set up a movie screen and watch Frank Capra’s Mr. Deeds Goes to Town.

Bea: How so, Artie?

Art: These in-the-corporate-pocket jag-wagons need to see the climactic courtroom scene where Longfellow Deeds is on trial for being nuts ’cause he inherited $20 million and wants to give it away to the needy. It’s when Deeds says this:

“From what I can see, no matter what system of government we have, there will always be leaders and always be followers. It’s like the road out in front of my house. It’s on a steep hill. Every day I watch the cars climbing up. Some go lickety-split up that hill on high, some have to shift into second, and some sputter and shake and slip back to the bottom again. Same cars, same gasoline, yet some make it and some don’t. And I say the fellas who can make the hill on high should stop once in a while and help those who can’t. That’s all I’m trying to do with this money. Help the fellas who can’t make the hill on high.

Bea: Amen.

Art: How ’bout you scoop me out another cup of that dark matter you’re calling plain old coffee there, Bea?

Bea: My pleasure. What kind of job do you think you’d have in a different universe, Artie?

Artie: Good question. I do know there are at least three jobs that right off the top of my head I know I’d never be able to pull off, no matter how hurting the market was. One: Astronaut—heights make me queasy. Two: Gondolier—my Italian sucks. Three: Head referee for the all-lady fan-focking-tabulous Lingerie Football League. And that’s because I’d be the most, and perhaps only, penalized football referee in history, let me count the ways: illegal use of the hands; offensive holding; extra man in the huddle; (p)ass interference; quick whistle on a run-up-the-middle turnover resulting in a play blown oh-so dead; and for those who enjoy a reverse Spoonerism—defensive interference on a fair catch of punt. Ba-ding-ding-ding!

Bea: You are a rascal, Artie.

Art: God bless you, Bea. So I got to run. Thanks for the coffee and for letting me bend your ear there, Bea—utiful. See you next time.

Bea: My pleasure, Artie. Always nice getting talked at by you. Take care.

(OK, off to the Uptowner, where dreams may be drowned but never die. If I see you there, then you buy me one ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.)



Open Blog - Tuesday

This must be drewzepmeister's day.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

"Man Tased And Beaten By Police"

Published on Aug 25, 2015
"Racine, WI - Joshua J. Ammon was accused of stalking/threatening his former girlfriend. When police finally caught up to him, several officers took him down and begin tasing and beating the man. At one point, the K9 officer let the dog bite the man, just for the fun of it."

"Ice sculptures vandalized"

From The Journal

Ricardo Torres
"RACINE — Several ice sculptures made in Saturday's Break the Ice event have been vandalized over night.

"Divino Gelato Cafe, 245 Main St., sponsored an ice sculpture that appeared to be tipped over.

"'When I left here last night it was fine... I don't think the wind could've pushed it over,' said Luke Jackson, manager at Divino Gelato Cafe. 'It's a shame.'

"Racine Police Department say they have not gotten any calls about any of the ice sculptures being vandalized.

"The Journal Times will update this story as it gets more information."


My Kind of Christmas Decorations