When Winning Isn't a Motivation...

Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing goes the saying attributed to Vince Lombardi. But in some cases, winning isn't what drives a person.

I just got an email about my employer's wellness program. They have been doing this all year. They have certain wellness events such as health seminars, on site yoga, chair massages (okay, those I can get behind!) etc. You are supposed to keep track on a calendar and get points for prizes.

One of the schools I taught at did a similar thing. You kept track of your physical activity on a calendar and got points for all your exercise. I run, lift weights, bike, etc. so everyone told me I should enter because I would win.

I never did and I am not currently keeping track of my "points" here. That's not why I keep in shape. I do it because I enjoy my workouts (even in the hot summer...season just changed here as the wind shifted on Monday and now it is getting brutally hot even at 6am.) I "win" by doing what I love. Don't get me wrong, I can be competitive, but I will save that spirit for the upcoming Fourth of July 5k Race!

If they have an event I want to participate in, I will, but not for the points. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make a reservation for my next chair massage!

Fungi for Fungi

I was in South Carolina last week and took these pictures just for our Fungi. Enjoy. Yeah, I know, the snail isn't of the same ilk!

Had a devil of a time with Comcast going down all afternoon...so am publishing it before they screw with me again~

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my loquacious larkspurs! How are you? Are you ready for our visit from President Obama? Is Racine ready? The weather is supposed to be perfect. I certainly hope that Mr. President has a wonderful day in our fair city. It’s too bad that the Dr. Laurel Clark Fountain won’t yet be functional for splashing in while President Obama is here. It would be a perfect photo opportunity: the President with his shoes off and pant legs rolled up, splashing in the water with some local inner city children. And it is conveniently located right behind Memorial Hall.

I read about the library being closed today and the book drop off boxes being temporarily removed, both for security purposes. At first I thought, “Why are they removing the boxes?” Then I remembered what world we live in today. What a shame. What an utter, utter shame that things are the way they are. I know that the younger generation grows weary of hearing, “When I was your age . . . ,” but it is true: it was a kinder, gentler world. When we were young, we heard it from our elders, too, and it was true then, too. For generations now, the world has become a less kind, less gentle place. Oh my, indeed. When I look into the future, it can get pretty grim.

The other big upcoming event is the 4th of July, celebrated on the 5th of July this year. Can you believe it’s almost here? We have a three day weekend coming up because of it, and our big parade and fireworks are on Monday. The parade is one of the premier (if not the premier) events in Racine. The noise and hoopla and celebration and revelry are outstanding. The marching bands are stupendous and the floats are delightful. Even the politicians who make their obligatory appearances are almost tolerable on such a great day. The fireworks display is beautiful. The 4th of July is our nation’s birthday, and we know how to throw a party.

At the Zoltar household, I think we’re going to ingratiate ourselves with the esteemed Mr. OrbsCorbs, who lives near the parade route, and see if we can’t wrangle an invitation to use his home as a base of operations for the parade. Later, we’ll probably do some grilling. Junior and I both enjoy brats and potato salad and chips and all the usual picnic food. What are your plans for the 4th? Are you going to stay in town and watch the parade? Or are you heading out somewhere for the weekend? Whatever you do, be careful. A lot of people overindulge on holidays and make it a little more dangerous for the rest of us. May you all be safe on the holiday and every day.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my blog. It’s nice to just relax with the Irregulars and others, spending time with friends. If there is anything you want to chat about, or something “like a splinter in your mind,” post it below in the comments, or email me: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com. I’m always delighted to hear from others.

These are busy, heady days for Racine. Stay calm, stay alert, stay centered. Enjoy our president’s visit and enjoy the holiday. I love you all, Irregulars and non-Irregulars(?)! May good fortune bless Racine and all of her children. Happy 4th of July! Zwitterion!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Wednesday's child is full of woe . . .

And from the "getting on my soapbox" department

“I am sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and you disagree with this administration somehow you’re not patriotic. We should stand up and say we are Americans and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration.”

Hillary Clinton, 2003

I am sick and tired of being called a racist for one reason - disagreeing with some of the policies and programs being brought forward by the administration in Washington.

Mrs. Clinton is correct. Foolishness has to stop. People need to get over themselves.

IM stepping off my soapbox

President Obama is Coming to Racine

http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_3aef56f4-8371-11df-8307-001cc4c03286.html

Are you excited about the President's visit? Did you get tickets for the show?

To me, his appearance here means traffic tie-ups and the added costs for security which our damaged city will have to absorb. Racine is already full of bread and circuses - we need solutions to our problems, not more campaigning on our dime.

Facebook

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Victoria and Daniel

Just over a week ago on June 19th the Swedish Crown Princess was married. Sweden still lives in a monarchy, well kinda. The Swedish King has no political power and not even really crowned King (never went through the coronation ceremony), but still King. The monarchy is quite controversial actually. Many want it to exist and many would like to get rid of it. I of course coming from the US find it strange to have a King and Queen, but even stranger to have a King and Queen that doesn't have any power, just basically costs Sweden money. Although he has many titles he may not speak out politically.

His first born was a girl (Victoria) and not long after she was born they changed the rule that the next in line to inherit the throne would be the first born and not necessarily the first born son, they later had another daughter and the youngest was a son. So Sweden was the first in the world (as I understand it) to start such a tradition. Which I don't know how controversial it was but different none the less. I do not know what kind of reaction that decision got as that was many many years before I moved here, but the wedding was controversial. She has been dating this man Daniel Westling for many years, but was never allowed to marry him. She had to ask for permission and the king repeatedly did not allow it.. You see he is a commoner (gasp!!), well whatever happened the King finally allowed it and they were engaged. The wedding plans were on their way when the Swedish people had a big problem.. She wanted her father to walk her down the aisle and give her away. Well this was a big problem for the Swedish people.. Here they are so much into equality they did not want to see their Princess given away from her father to another man. A woman is not a good to be given away. I found this very strange. I understand that long ago that is what it symbolized but I think you make traditions mean what you want them to mean. I had my father walk me down the aisle, but I saw it more as a way to include him (while the bride and the moms and sisters are running around planning and picking out dresses and flowers the dads are often not a part of the whole, of course I understand it's not always the way things are but I would bet more often than not)and a way to make a bond between families. that is just my opinion I am sure there are many out there that would gasp at the fact that I had my father walk me down the aisle.. well at least here in Sweden..

So anyways, I really only wanted to share a little video about the goings on here in Sweden. Along with the craziness of the World Cup we had a very large wedding.. So here she is the first born Crown Princess Victoria getting married to a commoner who is now a Prince Daniel in line to inherit a title that bares no political power.

Open Blog - Monday

Monday's child is fair of face . . .

Pioneering vet gives cat new prosthetic feet

Timt49 sent this to me in an email. It looks weird, but it works.

Partial Lunar Eclipse Photos

Well, it cleared up nicely here and I managed to get up about 4am to grab a few photos. Of course, being at 4am, I wasn't at my most coherent and looking back at what I got, I could have played with some settings more and probably gotten better results. Still, they aren't a disaster so here goes.

My first shot was overexposed. Being 4am, I instantly started reducing exposure times and got no more good shots like this. In hindsight, I like this shot since you can see the reddened eclipsed side of the Moon even though the lit side is overexposed. I should have experimented more with this type of shot. It was 4am...that's my story and I sticking to it.

This shot exposes the lit side of the Moon a little bit better. Look closely and you can see some craters, rays and maria.

And I wrapped up the night trying to get an interesting tree in the foreground. I need to invest in a flash with a little more kick to really make this work better (could have done longer exposure or bumped up the ISO but wasn't thinking clearly because, well, you know).

A good dry run for the big total lunar eclipse later this year!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Well, that's one way to sell tires.

Tires. Yup. That's what this is about.

Gotta love Nanna

Great Time to See the International Space Station

The next few days have an unusually large number of passes of the International Space Station. Every now and again, its orbit lines up with Earth's terminator (the line between day and night). When this happens, every pass of the ISS is visible because it is always in sunlight! Usually, you get one pass per night, maybe two if you are really lucky. Some places are getting up to five passes a night!

For beginners, go to Heavens Above to find when the ISS will be visible. You can find your location from the database, select it by clicking on a map or typing in your GPS coordinates. You can then click the ISS link to see when it is visible. Remember that lower numbers mean a brighter pass (a -3 pass is very bright, a -1 pass is not as bright but still impressive).

The ISS will appear as a very steady light moving across the sky. Be sure to sync your watch to the official time before you go out. Heavens Above gives you the direction to look and the time. Enjoy!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

California Welfare Cards Used at Casinos

"California welfare recipients withdrew $1.8 million at casino ATMs over eight months" - http://www.latimes.com/news/local/politics/la-me-welfare-casinos-20100625,0,1615510.story

I guess we should be happy that Wisconsin's Quest cards aren't used like this - yet.

Four for Fridays

Hello Everyone! It's Friday already? I could barely tell now, seeing I'm on vacation. The day are starting blend together. Anyways, this week's questions are kind of random about summer.

1) What is your favorite summer activity?

2) What is your favorite summer refreshment?

3) Are there festivals you go to?

4) Micheal Jackson died a year ago today. Do you remember where you were when you heard the news?

Open Blog - Weekend Version

Good ol' Snoopy...

GOAL!

For those that didn't watch the game, here it is...the goal that won the group and sent the U.S. onto the next round.



Now to get a little vengance on Ghana for that game in the 2006 World Cup!

Let Man's Petty Nations Tear Themselves Apart...

I recently bought the concert version of the musical Chess. Chess was originally recorded as a concept album in 1984 with lyrics by Tim Rice and music by the two guys from ABBA. There have been many versions of it throughout the years telling the story of world chess championships.

All versions have one thing in common: at one point, the Russian (who plays for the Soviet Union in some versions but Russia in others depending on the time they were done) defects to the west. He sings the song Anthem when asked how he can leave his homeland. The song was performed by Josh Groban in the recent concert version.



Now that is a song of pride in your homeland. I love cranking the stereo and belting that out...I am not thinking of the USSR or Russia. That song can show pride in any country.

Book 22

Is best known for the Song of Solomon, or the one place in the Bible that sex is good. But a lot of Christians aren't quite so comfortable with the seedier sides of sex these days, but still might want to purchase quality sex toys without dodging seedy shops frequented by questionable characters.

Enter Book 22, the online Christian sex toy shop. No graphic pictures and euphimisms abound. And you can be assured they pray over items before they are added to the site.

All I can say is Oh God!

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my woeful water lilies! How are you? Are you keeping dry? That’s becoming more and more difficult to do these days. The National Weather Service says that we can finally wring ourselves out after today, but we’ve all heard that song from them before. Those people give the rest of us in the prediction industry a bad name. If I was wrong as often as they are, I would be out of business before you could say, “Partly cloudy.” I know how difficult it is to read Mother Nature’s moods; that’s why I don’t even try. I do wonder, though how much one of those big shot meteorologists on TV makes. Ms. kk suggested last week that I get into weather forecasting. I suppose I could stand in front of a camera and make up predictions, too. I would do it with a Madame Zoltar twist: “Hello, my delightful dearies! How are you? Today I predict beautiful weather with balmy temperatures, sunny skies, soothing breezes, and a tall, dark, handsome stranger entering your life.” Oh my.

I would like to once again express my gratitude to the SC Johnson Company for coming to the rescue of Racine’s Dr. Laurel Clark Memorial Fountain. Preparing and maintaining the fountain for children’s play is a wonderful act of kindness from a company known for its generosity. Racine is fortunate to be home to such a fine corporation. I understand that Mr. Fisk Johnson took a personal interest in the plight of the fountain. Thank you, sir, for intervening on behalf of Racine’s children. May good fortune continue to bless you and yours. (And if you’d like to guarantee that, I am available for private consultations, at very reasonable rates. My prices do not rise with my clients’ incomes.)

While I’m on my soap box, I’d also like to address another issue that has concerned me lately: motorists and bicyclists. Please, everybody, please be careful out there! The good weather and plethora of things to do, along with the health and energy conscious consciences of the younger generation, have brought a multitude of bicycles to Racine’s streets and roadways, some of which were already congested at places and times. Everyone needs to watch out and be aware of each other. Motorcycles get into the mix during fair weather, too. I narrowly averted two separate accidents with bicyclists yesterday, and I’m still shaking. One ran a stop sign and the other ran a red light. But many is the time I’ve seen motorists cut off or ignore bicyclists. When I’ve been out for a spin on my bicycle, you wouldn’t believe the filthy things that have been shouted at me and/or the objects thrown at me. A few times I have barely managed to keep myself from casting the dreaded Zoltar® Curse™ on a car full of idiots. In any case, we need to respect each other and remember that we are dealing with human beings on our streets, not “the enemy.”

Finally, here’s an interesting little clip that involves a Segway (kind of a motorized bicycle) and a Zoltar fortune telling booth:



To find out all you’d ever want to know about that contraption (including how to build your own), check out: http://www.segnyc.com/. You can even follow Zoltar_Speaks on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Zoltar_Speaks. All I can say about that, my dears, is whatever my ex “speaks,” I guarantee you it is lies. Oh my, so true!

Thank you everyone, irregular and otherwise, for taking a few moments to read my blog today. I can sense when others are pondering my writings, and it makes me feel warm and loved. I want to do whatever I can to return those feelings to all of you. Please let me know if I can be of assistance to you. Don’t forget, you can always contact me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

National Weather Service, Schmnational Weather Service, the sun is going to shine soon, I predict, in more ways than one. May the light enfold us all. Just not blistering heat and smothering humidity, OK, Mother Nature? OK? Are you listening? Isotherm!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Just in case you were wondering where all this rain is coming from.

a computer error message I can understand

I'm still here, had to go in for a little tune up (couldn't handle the pain any more) then went fishing!

Open Blog - Monday

Rain, rain, please go away!

Cala Boca Galva!

This enigmatic phrase appeared on Twitter during the World Cup last week. Instantly, everyone wanted to know what it means. It came from Brazil, and means Shut up, Galva! It is directed at one of the sports announcers on Brazilian television (much like my harping on the winter Olypmics).

But did the Brazilians on Twitter tell people what it meant? Of course not! Those crazy Brazilians started spreading false info. The first one they spread is that it was a new Lady Gaga song. Problem is, there is no Lady Gaga song of that name. Fortunately, the crafty Brazilians promptly created no fewer than half a dozen videos on youtube in the style of Lady Gaga that incorporated Cala Boca Galva! See the sample below.



Now they couldn't stop at one hoax now, could they. The second reference is that it is a campaign to save a rare Brazilian bird. Each time you tweet, 10 cents will be donated to save the Galva. They even made a promotional video for that campaign as well.



And no good meme would be complete without the obligatory Hitler video.



Hope that stays up...Youtube has taken down lots of the Hitler parody videos using this scene recently due to the DMCA nonsense.

Almost makes me wish I had tweeted "Shut up, Costas!" during the Winter Olympics!

Bats and Bats!

I was out this evening near a bridge that crosses over the Pantano Wash on Broadway here in Tucson and snapped a pic (as usual, click to embiggen).
This might just look like another sunset picture with Venus. However, if we zoom in close on the bottom, something else pops up.
Look closely and you can see some faint dark streaks on the image. Those are bats. I had to take a few tenths of a second exposure to get the image and they were flying pretty fast so they show up as dark streaks (I didn't have a tripod with me so I handheld this...blurring the image slightly in spite of an image stabilized lens).

Bats are pretty common here. About 30-40 minutes after sunset, you can watch them start streaming out from underneath lots of the bridges here. There were probably about a dozen people there watching them tonight. I have seen them before, this just happens to be the first time I had my camera with me and tried to see if I could get any images of them. Estimates of the number of bats per bridge range from 10,000-40,000. This bridge is believed to have one of the bigger colonies (but not the biggest which is the bridge over the Rillito River on Campbell Ave, but that one is way across town!)

Here is one more pic of them, but without Venus.

Be a Geek Dad on Father's Day

Well, a special shout out to father's out there this weekend. Good father's are involved in their child's education and there are ways to make it fun.

Enter the book Geek Dad: Awesomely Geeky Projects and Activities for Dads and Kids to Share by Ken Denmead, author of the Geek Dad blog. There was a nice interview with him talking about the book yesterday on Science Friday. It sounds like a lot of fun...among the projects (from Amazon.com).

•Fly a night-time kite ablaze with lights or launch a video camera with balloons
•Construct the "Best Slip n' Slide Ever," a guaranteed thrill ride
•Build a working lamp with LEGO bricks and CDs
•Create a customized comic strip or your own board game
•Transform any room into a spaceship
•Make geeky crafts like cyborg jack-o'-lanterns or Ethernet cuff links

Many of these projects can be down with low cost materials, possibly even stuff you have laying around the house. What better way to spend Father's Day (or any lazy summer weekend) than showing your kids how much fun it is to mess around with science and engineering.

You can also check out his Top 10 Dads in Science Fiction and Fantasy while you are there.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Coming to Your Senses at the Right Time...

Swan Song

One of my favorite places to go to get away is Up North. It's a peaceful and tranquil place out in the boondocks in northern Wisconsin. A great place to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. A place to go fishing, hunting, four wheeling in woods, snowmobiling, and other outdoor activities. Here's a song about it...Swan Song

The lofty trees of green
Go far as eyes could see
Sun is held high at noon
Summer can't go too soon

Oh, you're so fine dear girl
Oh, can't we find a thrill?
The shines through your hair
Through breezes in the air

In the woods there is a fawn
An early sign of dawn
The birds sing in the trees
Because they're only free

In the lake a swan swims
Sun comes out from the dim
A bird chirp breaks the hush
There is no need to rush

Birds flying in the air
I just stood there and stared
Sun ripples on the lake
It's wonders the Lord can make

Light colors the lake blue
Colors in the eyes of hue
Overhead a hawk screams
I must be in a dream...

The sun draws to the west
Baby, I'll do my best
To give all that I can
For promise of a man

Butterflies you can chase
I know you love this place
The sun may go away
For another dawn we'll stay.....

Joe Jackson - "One More Time"

Crank it UP!!!

I don't expect comments. I posted this because I felt like hearing that song and thought I'd link it here in perpetuity (more or less). The song is from Look Sharp, an incredibly tight album.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! It's finally Friday after a long week. Seeing Father's Day is the weekend, this week's questions are about fathers.

1) Do you celebrate Father's Day?

2) How do you celebrate Father's Day?

3) Describe what is your father like.

4) What you think it takes to be a good father?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Weekend Version

Keep doing that and your eyes will get stuck that way.

Um, how did we manage to miss our own 2nd birthday?

http://www.jtirregulars.com/2008/06/welcome.html

June 1, 2008 - JT IRREGULARS - June 1, 2010

Happy belated birthday to us!

Police Punch Probe

Based on what I've read and see here, I agree with the police on this one. Don't mess with the police in the performance of their duties, and especially don't shove a cop when he's trying to arrest someone. To me, this is just further evidence of the breakdown of law and order in our society.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my wild and (very) wet ones! How are you? Does anyone remember what the sun looks like? That big, yellow thing that sometimes appeared in the summer sky? I heard a rumor that it might do a cameo today - if we’re all very good and finish all of our vegetables. Perhaps a human sacrifice to Sol? I just don’t know what it will take to get Mother Nature to finally engage the clutch on summer’s gearbox. Oh my, how’s that for a mixed metaphor? Summer’s engine is racing, but its wheels aren’t spinning. C’mon, let’s go!

Even though we have been cursed with forty days and forty nights of rain, the summer celebration time is here in Racine and I don’t think too many events have been rained out. It’s always good to see crowds of people out interacting with each other at local shindigs. And there is even so much more available in Milwaukee and Chicago. We are truly blessed to be able to call Racine home. At least when it’s not January or February.

I received an email this week from the always festive Mr. fungi. In a message entitled “Trademark Infringement,” he wrote:

Dear Madame,

I have read and heard of the many imposters trying to pass themselves off as a true soothsayer. I was out of town last weekend and made an interesting discovery in my travels.

I found this shameless charlatan hawking his "services" on the Vegas Strip. (Please see attachment.) [At right.] On the plus side I did not see anyone checking out if he had the right numbers to bet on or which slot machines would pay out the most. I figured it was because he doesn't have the pristine reputation that you enjoy.

Spiritually Yours
fungi

It is so good to hear from you, Mr. fungi. I am simply delighted. Thank you so much for your concern about me, my reputation, and my rights. That is just another reason why I so love my Irregulars. We are all a family, watching out for each other and helping when we can. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, kind of like when I drink too much wine, but without the hangover.

The fellow in that picture, Mr. fungi, is my ex-husband, or, more likely, one of his many clones. I had hoped that we saw the last of his kind when Ms. Beejay encountered him deteriorating on some forgotten stretch of Florida. However, he is legion. There are copies of him everywhere, cruel reminders of our bittersweet love. I am quite used to it by now. It does not bother me anywhere near as much as it used to. Today, I am a respectable businesswoman, and I am no longer easily manipulated by the wiles of what you so aptly described as a “charlatan.”

Thank you, again, Mr. fungi, for your concern. I deeply appreciate it. As I also appreciate the love and concern of all the other Irregulars and our friends. Thank you each and every one for taking the time to read my blog today. Our time together is precious.

Don’t forget, if you have anything you want to express, suppress, or repress, send it to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Really, I heard the sun would actually shine today. In the sky. Like in days of yore. I am not kidding. Dust off your old sunglasses, and dig out the sunscreen, if you still have any. Otherwise, use lard. I love you all. Oleo!

Open Blog - Wednesday

So start humping!

New Dental Extraction Methods

WTF?



I'll save you the trouble by making the obvious joke: This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Obamacare.

Venus and the Moon Again...

Venus and the Moon are in the process of another nice encounter after sunset tonight. Had to get out and snap some pictures since I haven't done that in a while. Here is what it looked like from Tucson.

It will still be pretty good tomorrow night. The Moon will move higher in the sky and be above Venus.

Being so close in the sky together, it is a good time to try and see Venus during the day. I have blogged about this before. If you can find the Moon, Venus will be a little closer to the Sun. Scan slowly with your eyes. You really have to look directly at Venus to see it (when its image falls on the most sensitive part of your retina called the fovea). It can difficult to find, but pops right out when you hit it. Another hint: stand so the Sun is behind a building. If you do this, you can even try to find it with binoculars (be sure the Sun is totally hidden behind the building so there is no chance you can accidentally view it!) As long as the Sun is hidden, you can even get a picture of Venus during the day!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Golf Sector 6

Alan Shepherd made golfing on other planets famous during Apollo 14 when he became the first and only person to take a shot on the Moon. I am sure a lot of duffers would relish the chance to take a shot and see an amazingly long drive leave their club due to the lower gravity.

Now you can thanks to Golf Sector 6. Golf Sector 6 lets you try your hand at golfing on the Moons of Saturn. Careful, it is easy to launch balls into orbit or even totally escape some of these moons! It is based on real data from Saturn's Moons and incorporates imagery from the Cassini spacecraft currently orbiting Saturn.

It may not be as advanced as Tiger Woods golf games for the PS3, but the scenery is spectacular!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Open Blog - Monday

"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down." - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPmbT5XC-q0

Sunday Evening Chuckle

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the
kids came back and began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff about spilled milk and
pennies saved, when the teacher realized that only Janie was left to
tell her story.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?' ''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me
a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and
her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all
she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down and her parachute landed right
in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the
pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife,
till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare
hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy
tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

Robber FAIL

"I don't get no respect from nobody!"

Friday Evening Grin

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a

box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,

"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!"

Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

I used the government approach of giving everyone something they think they want and then charging them for cleaning up the mess I caused.

The teacher was speechless. . . . . . . .

Lost Generation

If you ever had a brother

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Well, I have the day off and I'm preparing for a road trip Up North. This week's question's are about trips.

1) When was the last road trip you took?

2) Do you have a getaway place to go to?

3) Have you ever been on a boat?

4) Have you ever been on a cruise?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Weekend Version

Are you dancing?

Thursday Night Grin

Cell phone for seniors

World Cup Fever

The Soccer World Cup, that event that makes the world insane, starts tomorrow. I have been a long time fan, watching the Minnesota Kicks of the old NASL in the early days of ESPN, and a longtime World Cup watcher.

The first World Cup I remember watching was in 1990. Wasn't televised in the U.S. much back then and I watched several games on the Spanish language station in Chicago with my roommates (strangely, all five of us spoke German to varying degrees and no one spoke Spanish...Germany won the Cup that year). In 1994, I went to a game at the Silverdome in Detroit where they played on special grass grown to survive indoors (from Michigan State University where I just finished my M.S.) Russia vs Sweeden. Still have the fancy ticket stub. On a side note, I was looking for a job and one of the hiring people at a school in Ohio I was talking to mentioned he was attending the same game. I had a preliminary job interview outside the Silverdome (didn't end up getting that job, but I think the one I finally got in Florida was a much better fit for me so it all worked out in the end).

In 1998 I was driving out to Yellowstone and was camping in the Badlands the night before the World Cup final. I got up and drove to the nearest place, Wall, South Dakota (home of Wall Drug) and found the one bar in town showing the France-Brazil final. It was a great place to watch since everyone was there to watch the game while their families were being tourists across the street at Wall Drug. Great crowd to watch the game (for the record, I went to Wall Drug after the game and ended up camping near Mount Rushmore that night).

In 2002, I was at Yerkes Observatory when the U.S. played Germany in the quarterfinals. One of the Yerkes staff let a few of us come over to her place at 6am to watch the game the next morning (after late night observing). I watched a lot of games in 2006, but no good stories as I was actually home for most of that one!

When I was teaching in Florida, the U.S. under 17 National Team was training in Bradenton. Many of the team members ended up playing high school soccer for a local school, Bradenton Academy. Several of these students are now playing on the World Cup team and I saw them play high school soccer and even chatted with them several times after games (they only played in the playoffs and big tournaments which caused lots of controversy and led to some changes in eligibility rules).

Of course, I already have planned how to catch all the U.S. games and the best of the first round matches (can't watch all of them!) and my DVR set to record ones I want to see that I can't fit my work schedule around. The U.S. games I can catch without missing work since the first one is on Saturday morning and the start time of the others is 5am here.

Who else is watching? Who will win? Is this a typical group of Americans who doesn't care or a bunch who embraces the beautiful game?

The Road Trip Theme Song...

Here we go, Logjam. I see this song matches your driving skills...an old video of one of my favorite groups, the Bobs (who I just saw in Tucson on Saturday night).

Googling BP

As we become more dependent on the internet for news and search sites such as google, bing and yahoo, we also become more susceptible to manipulation of said sources. We have seen google bombing in the past (remember the search term "miserable failure" used to lead to Bush's biography on the White House web site...ironically, the search term pointed to Obama's biography for a little while since they just swapped biographies on the same page when he took office...this google bomb has been defused).

Well, BP isn't being quite that sleazy, but they are buying placement. Fortunately, their results appear in sponsored links so people that are not totally clueless about the internet know its a paid ad. Go ahead and type in phrases like "oil spill" or "BP oil spill" to get the link to BP's site. Either takes gets you the ad on google. On Bing, "oil spill" gets the ad but "BP oil spill" does not. On Yahoo, they both work.

Not to be outdone, anyone care to guess what you get if you type in something like "oil spill lawsuit"? Of course you get BP's site saying why you should not sue them. On Bing and Google, you get ads for lawyers!

I don't have a huge problem with the PR efforts as long as they are clearly labeled as sponsored links (I even saw a friend on facebook advocate clicking these links repeatedly because it costs them money each time someone does...I think that is too much effort for too little effect but that's just me).

Just another warning that there are lots of people out there on the internet trying to steer you to their sites.

Tinnitus Relief

I thought I would bring you all up to date on my hearing loss...anyone who has seen me in the last year knows that my hearing has deteriorated tremendously due to tinnitus. I wear two hearing aids.

My niece mentioned to me a couple of months back that her ENT (ear, nose, throat) had told her about a product on the market called arches Tinnitus Relief Formula. Available only by calling an 800 # or on-line.

I have been taking four capsules a day for about a month now and I think it is helping somewhat. It is subtle, but I can now distinquish more words than I could in the past. I was at 30% voice recognition in my right ear, but I think that has improved quite a bit.

The next time I'm tested (later this year), I'll let you know what percentage shows up. But I truly think this stuff might work.

Down side of this is that the stuff costs about $40/bottle for a 25 day supply. If it works, it is definitely worth it. Oh and I don't take the b supplement they want you to buy with it...figured I could just buy a B complex for a lot less than $30-some a bottle!

Okay, enough of that advertisement for arches!

Next:

With my hearing problem, I find that all this background music on some of the TV programs is causing me more problems than before. I think they are increasing the volume of the music...anyone else noticing this? I truly love to watch The Mentalist, but it seems like I miss more and more dialogue because of the music. Forget Hallmark movies...way too much music for me.

Anyone else noticing this?

Oh, what I can hear with or without my hearing aids are the commercials...Don't they dare try and tell me they don't up the volume for those!

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my waterlogged wallabies! How are you? Are you keeping your powder dry? That can be difficult in weather like we’ve recently had. My poor baby veggie plants are drowning (and freezing) in their beds. Enough with the weather walloping, Mother Nature, dear. Please, dear, please. Moderation in all things is so much more pleasant than going to extremes. Please give plants and animals a chance to enjoy some sunshine and grow. Show us your beautiful side, Mother Nature, tell us stories of bright and breeze. Caress us in your arms. Whisper us to sleep. Dream us summer, warm and free.

Oh my, I waxed poetic. The season does that to me. Spring’s flush of growth can be intoxicating. Perhaps I’m tipsy.

Have any of my dear Irregulars been to downtown Racine to try out the new rubber sidewalk christened by Mayor Dickert last Friday? http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_4e37038e-7033-11df-b33c-001cc4c03286.html I haven’t had a chance to stop by yet and see how the sidewalk performs. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for or what to expect. I just like the idea of a softer, bouncier, squishier world. Not to be a punster, but wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to install the new sidewalk in Rubberville? Or does that have a new name now, too? I don’t know the latest appellations for the trendy neighborhoods in Racine. Until I read the article about the rubber sidewalks, I didn’t know that area in downtown is called Crosswalk Park. A long time ago, I knew some people who lived across the street from there, above the storefronts. Bohemians, or artists, or something like that. They were all nuts. Oh dear.

Speaking of nuts, my ex-brother-in-law recently reared his ugly head in my life again. Marko (I know – Polo – tee-hee), my ex-husband’s youngest brother, usually shows up when he has worn out his welcome everywhere else. I don’t want to imply that he is dishonest, but he is a thief, a liar, and a scoundrel. He only appears when he is in need. And whatever he needs, someone else is expected to pay for it. He was waiting for me when I returned home Saturday. Junior wisely had not let him in - he knows Uncle Marko. I, too, refused him entry, but his passionate pleas for a place to sleep led me to allow him to spend the night on our enclosed porch. Of course, in the morning he needed to use the bathroom. I had no choice but to let him in. And like any Zoltar worth his salt, once his foot was in the door, it was impossible to remove. He’s been sleeping in the spare room. I’ve hidden every valuable that I can think of and Junior is under strict orders to observe Uncle Marko at all times when I am not there. I do have a business to run, and it is only made more difficult worrying about what a freeloader might do to my home when I am away.

I know that I should stick up for myself and just tell Marko to go away, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s not that I’m afraid of him or anything like that. It’s more like I feel a little fondness and a lot of sadness for him. He’s not a particularly good influence on Junior, but he is family, what’s left of it. He usually stays for a week or two, then is on his way, to “visit” someone else. I don’t mind helping out, I just don’t want to be taken advantage of. Balance, again, moderation. Sometimes a difficult discipline to attain.

Well thank you for taking some time out of your day to share with me. The JT Irregulars are the best bunch of people since the founding fathers of our great nation. I mean that. They come in different sizes and persuasions, but are all united in their common independence. I’m so proud to be a member of this group, and so proud of each and every Irregular. Thank you for being you.

Please send your comments and questions (and threats to Marko) to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

I can predict that we will have a glorious summer. It’s just a mater of how many days it lasts: one or two. Oh dear. Enough jokes. Be careful out there. I love you Irregulars. Dymaxion!

Open Blog - Wednesday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFD7KGBUtKI

Why do people post such personal stuff on Facebook?

I'm a member of the Facebook community and I do post silliness there quite often. However, I am astounded by the number of people who post such personal information. They are upset with friends. They put it out there for the world to see. Well, at the very least, for all their friends to see. They are upset with their fellow employees, well, by all means, post it on f/b!

I have a 'friends only' privacy setting and have had no issues. And, golly, if I'm mad at someone in my family, I'll pick up the phone and tell them what is bugging me before I'll put it out there for my entire friends' list to see. How can you mend a fence later on? Do these people think beyond the moment???

Yesterday, I saw a posting where the guy is cussing out someone who was simply teasing him. His post simply showed the world that he had anger management issues and not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. Well, I guess that is only my opinion. But have I ever been known to be wrong? (oops...a little humor sneaks in!)

This post is read by everyone on his friends' list, and depending on his privacy setting, could be read by friends of friends, etc. Do folks really want such information spreading like wildfire?? And now that's it out there for everyone to read, how do you mend your relationship?

When I read about all these privacy issues people are having, I keep wondering why they put out such drama for the world to read? Am I out of touch here? Don't you have a responsibility to yourself to keep some things private? Why is the world always at fault if you tell every sordid detail of your life to F/B? Do you really think the entire community cares if you have minor health issues? Major ones, we care...little aches and pains, nope...buck up and live life.

What do I post on F/B? I shamelessly beg for anyone to send me WI Cheese! I ride my pink bike almost daily! I see turtles, snakes, gators. I love my family! Gee, that is certainly stuff you didn't know about me! Oh and did I forget to say that I'm a happy person?

Magnificent Artistry from Dead Trees

All the old cottonwood trees in the area of a Craig, Colorado , park had some disease and needed to be removed. So they had a chainsaw competition in the park and offered a prize. The following pictures are a result of the competition. Great artists!




These photos where taken by DamnedifIknow's camera.