I hate asking this but...

My friend knows a couple that have two children with a rare genetic disorder. The cute kids probably won't live past twelve years of age, and be a burden even though they are cute and seem normal now. My friend has been pushing all her friends to vote for a PEPSI funded research grant, and at the moment they are in first place inn the grant contest. Just squeaking by though. I would like anyone interested in helping out, to vote each day. i think you can vote twice a day even.

Thanks


http://www.refresheverything.com/curesanfilippo

The Big Snow Blog

"A blizzard in the forecast" - http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_1a3e9212-2d53-11e0-8b4e-001cc4c03286.html

National Weather Service Blizzard Watch - http://forecast.weather.gov/wwamap/wwatxtget.php?cwa=mkx&wwa=blizzard%20watch - "NEEDLESS TO SAY THIS COULD BE A HISTORIC BLIZZARD CAPABLE OF PARALYZING PARTS OF SOUTHEAST WISCONSIN."

Are you ready?

Are you afraid?

Or are you eagerly awaiting it?

Then we're supposed to drop into the deep freeze again.

Personally, I hope they've overestimated the snowfall amounts.  But I'm resigned to whatever happens because it is winter in Wisconsin, so there's not a lot you can do but make sure you have enough food and whatever else you need  for a couple of days.  And try to think spring.

Open Blog - Monday

Me, too.

St Paul Winter Carnival

http://spwc.smugmug.com/popular/1/462218661_VbdZK#462218661_VbdZK
These are pictures from the St. Paul, MN Winter Carnival. The snow sculptures are amazing!! We didn't get there to see them in person, but this is a good place to see all of them without freezing your tootsies off!
Check out #2! Is that SER??

This link has some pictures of the ice sculptures.
http://www.365twincitiesmn.com/day-264-ice-sculptures-at-the-st-paul-winter-carnival/

Catapot

No, that's not a typo. Drug smugglers have recently been using a catapault to send bales of marijuana over the U.S.-Mexico border.



When will they learn to build a trebuchet?

Be My Valentine?

I'm so glad that you allow my strange mind to flourish without too much ridicule.. 

I had a bunch of stuff floating around up there: my band's cd/album cover, Valentine's Day, poetry and limericks, and Sassa's naughty valentine. It all gelled into this overnight. 

Now I see that there is a poet laureate contest?  Hmmm... Somehow, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be interested. :D

"Apply by Feb. 15 to become poet laureate of Racine or Kenosha"

"Racine and Kenosha Public Library systems have extended the deadline for submissions of the poet laureate program to Feb. 15.

"Poets are encouraged to submit applications to become the poet laureate of their respective communities. The poets laureate will be crowned in early April during National Poetry Month.

"The honor also includes publication of the poets’ work and a $500 award, given to each poet, from the Friends of the Kenosha Public Library and Friends of the Racine Public Library.

"Poets must be age 18 or older and a current resident of Racine or Kenosha counties in order to apply. Application forms and more information are available at all library branches in Racine and Kenosha counties. Forms and information are also available on the Web at www.mykpl.info and www.racinelibrary.info"

More: http://www.journaltimes.com/lifestyles/faith-and-values/article_1cd1563a-2a57-11e0-8f34-001cc4c002e0.html

Bittersweet Valentines

Still time to place your order to arrive in time for Valentines Day.....

Touted as the option for the rest of us. How did they know? :(
http://despair.com/bittersweets.html

A challenge!

I got this in an email. I thought all of you irregulars would be up for the challenge and to share this.
CALLING ALL PACKERS FANS

The Greater Green Bay Convention & Visitors Bureau has been challenged by the Pittsburgh Convention & Visitors Bureau to prove we have more fans than they do. We know that Packers Fans are all over the country, and we need your help to reach out to them.

Both CVBs have put together a contest that not only counts the number of fans we have, but there's an awesome prize... (2 Packers tickets for next season's opening game, hotel and dinner). We'll draw a winner after the Super Bowl.

The Packers Nation contest is located at www.greenbay.com . Click on Packers Nation Ticket Giveaway and enter!

Please share this with all your friends. Help us prove that Packers Fans are the best Super Bowl fans!

What If Teachers Graded Parents?

That's a proposal being put forth by Florida state rep Kelli Stargel. Teachers would be required to grade parents as satisfactory, unsatisfactory or need improvement. The bill contains three criteria for the grade:

• A child should be at school on time, prepared to learn after a good night's sleep, and have eaten a meal.
• A child should have the homework done and prepared for examinations.
• There should be regular communication between the parent and teacher.

Now I might add that the students comes to class with everything they need (paper, pencils, textbook, calculator, etc) to the list.

Not everyone thinks this is a good idea of course. It will take extra time for teachers (and I don't see anyone offering extra pay for extra work in education). The other arguments against it seem to be of the grading parents will cause confrontation and bad feelings (as if grading teachers, which many support, would never do this).

I know there are some teachers on here (and I am a former teacher) and there are parents I would have LOVED to grade. I had a student that missed 35 days of class one semester yet his parents insisted that his grade was somehow all my fault. You know, I can't teach someone who isn't there. It's not uncommon for parents not to return or respond to repeated phone calls and emails, although they sure respond to a low grade on a report card! If your student can't stay awake or keeps trying to bring breakfast into class, well, there is a problem happening before the student walks in the door that the teacher doesn't have any influence over yet is expected to overcome these issues. If you come to my class with no book, no pencil, no paper and no calculator, you are going to have a tough time. All of this before the teacher even gets a chance to do the job.

I have never once had a parent say they sucked at parenting yet I know many to whom that terminology applies. Parents don't tend to be a very self-critical lot and maybe turning the tables and grading the parents would be a good way to get them to wake up and smell the toast burning.

Slideshow: Southeastern Wisconsin Mug Shot Hall Of Shame - Photos - WISN Milwaukee

Slideshow: Southeastern Wisconsin Mug Shot Hall Of Shame - Photos - WISN Milwaukee

They live amongst us. How do their lives get so out of control?

See Venus During the Day: January 2011 Edition

I know that this topic interests people since I see a slow but steady stream of searches that land on my blog that mention this topic. Therefore, since we have a good chance to see Venus during the day this weekend, I'll review how to go about it.

Venus is best seen during the day when it is far from the Sun in the sky. We call this greatest elongation. Venus passed greatest western elongation on January 8th and is still nicely separated from the Sun. Venus is hard to find during the day and it helps to have a nearby landmark to find it. The Moon provides a nice guide and makes a nice pass by Venus on January 29th. The Moon a waning crescent and sets late morning/early afternoon (depending on your location and time zone) so check sometime mid-morning is your best show. Here is a finder chart made for Tucson at 9:00am MST tomorrow.

The Moon moves about a half degree every hour (which is conveniently about the same as its diameter) so if you look earlier the Moon will be farther to the west of Venus and if you look later the Moon will be farther to the east of Venus. You can use the free program Stellarium to make a chart for your time and location.

Find the Moon and then slowly move your gaze toward Venus. Slowly scan the sky. There are a couple of tricks to finding Venus. First, you have to keep your eyes focused at infinity. When you look at the Moon, your eyes will focus at infinity. If you are conscious of your eyes focus point, you can keep it from changing. It may take a little practice, but it can be done. Looking at a blue sky, your eyes have nothing to focus on so the focus may drift if you are not paying attention to it!

Second, you have to look DIRECTLY at Venus. You want the image of Venus to form on your fovea, the part of your retina responsible for sharp central vision. You can't spot Venus out of the corner of your eye! It is amazing that you won't see it at all and then suddenly Venus pops into view when it his your fovea and is so bright and obvious you wonder how you missed it before. Don't be fooled...you only get this view when you look directly at it!

Another trick is to stand near a building. You want to stand in a place where the building blocks direct Sunlight but you can see the Moon and Venus. Blocking the bright glare of the Sun helps.

If its your first time trying to see Venus during the day, you might try picking it up just before the Sun rises and track it over the course of the morning. That practice will help you in the future. The Moon will still relatively close to Venus on Sunday, so you can give yourself a test then!

If you have clear skies, there is no reason you can't see Venus anytime it is up and away from the Sun.

You can try this again next month as the Moon makes an even closer pass to Venus on February 28th.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

25 Years Ago...

January 28th, 1986. The day the Challenger lifted off on a chilly morning in Florida. 73 seconds after launch, the main fuel tank exploded in a spectacular fireball and the orbiter broker apart. Seven astronauts were lost int he accident.

I was a senior in high school. Kristin came in late that day for some reason and I saw her between classes. She is the one who told me the space shuttle exploded. A couple of years earlier, a joke went around about the space shuttle exploding. I forgot the punch line (but remembered I thought the joke was funny) and thought she was going to tell me that joke. The punch line didn't come and my heat sank as I realized she was delivering news and not telling a joke.

I had a schedule that let me leave school at noon since I had no afternoon classes. I went home and had the television on watching the coverage until I had to go to basketball practice later that afternoon.

I was not born at the time of the Apollo 1 fire (January 24th, 1967) which had its 44th Anniversary yesterday. For a good personal account of this tragedy, read Gene Kranz's excellent book Failure is Not an Option. It captures both technical and personal aspects of the Apollo 1 fire that almost derailed the Apollo program.

The 8th Anniversary of the Columbia accident is next week, February 1st. I heard about it on NPR listening to Weekend Edition. I was living in Racine at the time and remember the publicity surrounding Laurel Clark, a Horlick high grad (I was performing in a show at the time and remember driving by Horlick and seeing all the news trucks around it that evening). One year the Kiwanis Club sold Christmas ornaments honoring the Columbia astronauts at Zoo Lights. I bought one even though I never put up a Christmas tree.

NASA holds a Day of Remembrance each January since its major accidents are clustered at this time of year. I definitely remember all the NASA astronauts we have lost.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Can't believe it's Friday already! This week sure flew fast. This week's topic is about television.

1) What have you been watching lately?

2) What is your all time favorite TV show?

3) What was the last movie you watched or rented?

4) What was the last movie you saw in the theater?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Weekend

Today, apparently, is a day to honor cowardice. 

Check Out my Band's New Album

Someone mentioned the piano in the water would make a good album cover. It reminded me of something I found on Facebook. It was fun to play with and thought maybe you would like to give it a try... You create a first album cover for your new band by following the instructions below. The photo  to the left is my result.


My new band
1- Go to wikipedia and hit random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use photoshop, paint or similar (sumopaint.com is a free online photo editor) to put it all together.
5 - Post it, or post a link to the image.

 Here is my second attempt.  I blurred it a little to give it a more artistic effect.....Oooohhh.

Beautiful Sun

I was out at Old Tucson Studios today for Ted Walker Day, an annual event for students in Tucson. I was showing off the Sun with a Personal Solar Telescope. The Sun did not disappoint today!

Sunspot #1149 just departed over the limb of the Sun. However, it is going out with a bang sending huge plasma bursts into space. Here is a pic from the Solar Dynamics Observatory.

Now my telescope is much smaller and on the ground, but I couldn't help but holding up my cheap Sony point and shoot camera to the eyepiece and here is what I got. I could only fit in the limb of the Sun near the action. The camera has very few controls on it...I turned the flash off, put it in auto mode, lined it up with the eyepiece and held it as steady as I could.

Okay, not a great shot, but it's a nice way to remember this spectacular site! If you have a solar telescope, dig it out now!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Just coincidence?

"Social networking leads to sex faster?"

"(Reuters Life!) - Nearly four out of five women and three of five men say they believe texting, Facebook and other social networking tools cause new couples to jump into bed faster, a survey released on Monday showed.

"But only 38 percent of women say they have actually slept with a date any sooner because of digital intimacy, according to the 1,200 women and men who participated in the third annual sex survey by Shape and Men's Fitness magazines.

"Smart phones and laptops are the new toys that lead to the bedroom, it said, with nearly 80 percent of women and 58 percent of men saying social media tools leads to sex faster.

"Texting is the No. 1 way lovers stay in touch, the survey found, with men texting 39 percent more often than phoning and women 150 percent more.

"Even before the magic begins, 70 percent of women and 63 percent of men use Google and other online tools to screen potential dates.

"Sixty-five percent of those polled said they had been asked out by text and 49 percent through a Facebook message.

"Once the relationship clicks, 72 percent of women report scouring a current partner's ex-girlfriends' Facebook pages.

"Even in the heat of passion, some people just can't get enough of their digital devices, the survey found. When a call or text comes in during sex, 5 percent of respondents said they glance to see who is calling and 1 percent say they stop to answer the phone."

More: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE70O4IJ20110125

I don't text, I don't even have a cellphone. And I don't use Facebook or MySpace, or instant maessaging of any kind. Well, I guess that explains a lot.

We All Suck

What is your state worst at?

I am disappointed Massachusettes is home to the worst drivers. Bostonians take pride in that. For fun, tell someone fro Boston somewhere else has worse drivers and watch the veins in their neck pop out as they start frothing at the mouth trying to convince you that Bostonians are the worst drivers that are now, ever were and ever will be.

And Again From Florida....

Video here:

http://news.yahoo.com/video/odd-15749658/piano-bar-mystery-intrigues-miami-23972698

Beejay.... a piano purchased in Milwaukee ends up on a sandbar in Florida?  Sounds a little too coincidental. You did mention you were a party animal! :D

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my poignant penguins! How are you? My, what a difference a week makes. Last week it was snow and then the deep freeze. Now it’s slush-o-rama. This is not a good time of year to stand out near the traffic lane while waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk. You could very easily get splashed with a dirty mixture of ice, salt, and snow. I know that from experience. It’s a good thing that I wasn’t wearing any “dry clean only” clothing that day or a certain driver might not have made it home that evening. Oh my.

Of course, of course, I do not have to report what we all already know: the Green Bay Packers triumphed over the Chicago Bears last Sunday to win the NFC Conference Championship and a trip to Super Bowl XLV in Dallas on February 6, 2011 to face the AFC Champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Oh my, indeed. I feel terribly sorry for the bad press that Mr. Jay Cutler, quarterback of the Bears, has received for leaving the game early in the third quarter. (That’s him on the right in the photo, meeting with our Mr. Aaron Rodgers after the game.) I’m sure that he will overcome it. Just like our glorious Packers will overcome the Steelers in the Super Bowl! That’s my prediction and I’m standing by it.

In response to that prediction, I was honored that Ms. kk composed a limerick featuring me in the comments of her recent Packer Poetry blog: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/01/packer-poetry.html
Here it is:

A prediction from Madame Z
How accurate will it be?
How good it would feel
To put a hurt on some steel
And send home the Lombardi trophy!

Oh thank you, Ms. kk, for writing about me. I would do anything I can to help our magnificent Packers win. Awhile back, a commenter was ridiculing our Packers for their name, mocking them for deriving the name from meatpackers. Which makes me wonder: do they even produce steel in Pittsburgh anymore?

And as long as I’m already a little on edge, I would like to most stridently state that the dreaded Zoltar® Curse has been placed upon the perpetrators of the hacking attack on Racine’s beloved “Racine Uncovered” news/blog site (http://racineuncovered.org/). You can run and you can hide from the law, your family, or even yourself, but no one escapes the dreaded Zoltar® Curse, no one. It is difficult for me to believe that some people are so hateful as to destroy the work of others done for the benefit of our community. Poor parenting? Lack of morals? Lead poisoning? I don’t know, but the shrinking of your genitals shall soon overcome you. Oh dear.

Finally, for our edification, I present, “The Illusion of Peace!”



“All we are saying is give peace a chance.” I’m just an old hippy at heart.

Peace to all of you, my dear readers, irregular and otherwise. Thank you so very much for stopping by to peruse my blog this week. I so enjoy spending time with you. Tell your friends: “Madame Z, she’s for me!”

Please send your queries, comments, and Nigerian bank scam emails to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy your week, my dear friends. Believe it or not, the days are growing longer. Slowly, but surely, old Sol will rise again in the sky. Outshine him with your smile. Velleity!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Aww, now you just have to have a good day. 

Saleman gets fired!

THAT'S COLD .......

AP News : vcstar.com : Ventura County Star: "OAK LAWN, Ill. (AP) -- A car salesman in suburban Chicago has been fired for refusing to remove a Green Bay Packers tie that he wore to work the day after the Packers beat the Chicago Bears to advance to the Super Bowl.
John Stone says he wore the Packers tie to work Monday at Webb Chevrolet in Oak Lawn to honor his late grandmother, who was a big Green Bay fan.
The sentimental gesture did not impress his boss, Jerry Roberts.
Roberts says the dealership has done promotions involving the Bears and he was afraid the tie could alienate the team's fans and make it harder to sell cars.
Roberts adds that Stone was offered five chances to take off the tie but he refused."

Racine Uncovered Hacked

Local blog site Racine Uncovered (http://racineuncovered.org/) was hacked last night according to a comment in our Monday open blog. Beth, who runs the site, prmosises prosecution to the fullest extent of the law if the perpetrators are caught.

Racine Uncovered covers the local crime scene, and covers it very well. The site has been a thorn in the side of the city of Racine's administration since its inception. Whenever our mayor opens his mouth to spew another lie, Racine Uncovered has been there to dispute it. Recently, the site endorsed Eric Marcus for mayor of Racine. I have little doubt that Beth's politics played a major role in this attack. Who would orchestrate an assault on a small, local, volunteer-run site that providies such a service to the citizens of Racine? I can think of no one other than our own lying John, the dirtiest piece of garbage to slime his way into City Hall in decades. This is filthy, lying, dirty politics - the kind that pigs wallow in.

Oink on, lying John!

5:30 PM - I've re-thought the situation and kk is right (see comments): I don't know for sure who hacked Racine Uncovered, so I shouldn't point fingers.

"Caught up in a cycle of sin."

So this Air Force Chief goes on an adultery and sexual harassment binge, and at his court marshal he claims that he was "Caught up in a cycle of sin." It's like the Race Card Christians use as a get out of jail card. I've been asked more than once the question of "If you don't believe in a god, what keeps you in check?" Well, the golden rule. I treat everybody or try to as I want to get treated myself. Anyway, an old comedy skit hit me from years gone by. I bring you Flip Wilson at the Ed Sullivan Show doing his skit, "The devil made me do it."

Party at Bee Jay's!

What can I tell you...we know how to party???? Well, the Packers were playing and it was the dog's birthday??? Decisions, decisions! All turned out well!

Google is so Smart

Open Blog - Monday

Monday is better when the Packers win the NFC Championship the day before. 

Game Day Blog

NFC Championship Game - 2:00 PM CST - Soldier Field - TV: Fox (Channel 6), Radio: AM-620

Name that color and scent

Here's to a strange post -
if you had to give a color and scent to things, what would it be?

Examples for me -

Happiness would be yellow and the scent would be lilac. Someday I would love to have an area of lilacs with a table set inside just surrounded. To me, it is the most beautiful scent there is. I love vanilla but something about lilac tops it all.

Sad, I guess would be gray and smell like dirt?

what do you think?

What scents make you feel something? good? bad? reactions to colors?

ah yes, a tired mind at work, indulge me here :)

WOW, so pretty!!

I know there was no way to get a picture of the beauty that was outside at 3am this morning, but the new snow shimmered as if covered in diamond dust, mesmerizing and absolutely gorgeous, I just wanted to keep driving to keep it sparkling, it was the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. Please tell me I wasn't the only one to see that incredible site!!

Ok, yes, I - ME - I was actually excited by the beauty of the snow, it really isn't ALL evil, just the driving in it part when there are other people on the road, but this morning was the best drive to work I've ever had!! :)

Johnny Cash & Bob Dylan - "Girl from the North Country"

This is one of my favorite songs.

OK, let's just call it Poetry

A couple of weeks ago, I had the idea to start an irregular feature entitled Poetry Corner:

http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/01/poetry-corner.html

As it turned out, the JTI already had blogs featuring and/or about poetry published with the labels Poetry, Poems, Poetry Corner, and Poem. In an effort to simplify matters, I've decided to go with just the label Poetry. That's what the feature will be titled in the sidebar and previous labels will be amended. If you post a blog containing poetry and/or about poetry, please add the label Poetry when you are composing it (lower right corner of the composition form). Thank you.

Live Black Bear Den

This is a live webcam for Lily, a black bear in Ely, MN. She had a cub last year (Hope) and has just given birth to two cubs this afternoon!
It's kind of cool to watch. I didn't see the births, but I did just see her face!
Check it out!
http://www.bear.org/livecams/lily-hope-cam.html

Giffords Leaves Tucson

You may have seen on the news that Gabrielle Giffords is leaving Tucson today to continue her physical therapy in Houston where her husband is based as an astronaut. The move makes sense from the perspective of her family.

The route from the hospital to the airport passed about two blocks from my office so I walked down there this morning. News chopper flying overhead and some media photographers on the sidewalks as well as members of the community coming out to wish her well.

The police at the front of the procession.

The ambulance in which she was riding. Obviously she couldn't wave to the crowd or even see them, but that didn't seem to matter to the people lining the street.
Some motorcycles from the local VFW brought up the rear of the procession. I was kind of surprised they didn't lead it (at least after the first wave of motorcycle cops cleared the way).

I was watching the twitter feed as I was waiting to see if they were on schedule (they were) and was happy to see many people from Texas welcoming her and saying she would be well cared for there. The only negative thing I saw was some people complaining that their local station cut into the Price is Right to cover this and a few people criticizing them for publishing the route of the procession.

On a slightly lighter note, has anyone else seen the coverage of her using an iPad? Apple must be thrilled with the free publicity they are getting from this!

One Day at Gurnee Mills

A Chicago family went shopping at Gurnee Mills. The son asks to go into the Sports Authority. As he is there he is pondering a life change. The spirit of St. Lombadi enters the boy. He grabs a Aaron Rodgers jersey and walks up to his mom.

"Mom?" "Yes Son?" "I'd like to become a Packers fan and would like this Jersey. His mom whacks him in the head and says "Go see your Father!"

The kid walks up to his Dad, Packer Jersey in hand.

"Dad?" "Yes Son?" "Dad, I am now a Green Bay Packers fan and would like this #12 Jersey." The Dad whacks him on the head, takes the jersey away and states "No son of mine will ever ever wear this! Go go get in the car!"

On the way home, the Dad turns to his Son and asks him "So I hope you have learned something today Son"

"I sure have Dad! I've only been a Packer fan for one hour and I already hate you FIB's!

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! It's Friday again? Whoa...Either I've been sleeping the whole week or the week flew fast. This week's questions are about the big game.

1) Are you going to watch the Packer/Bear game this Sunday?

2) Who do think is going to win?

3) What your prediction for the final score?

4) Are you doing anything special in preparing for the game?

Enjoy your weekend!

Hale Bopp, about the speed of light

You are standing still and a train goes by. You notice it's speed. Now you're in a train car with no windows, and a glass smooth track so you don't feel the clacking jars as the wheels pass over the rail joints. You toss a ball between you and a friend, and the ball to your present perception is just moving at the speed it's thrown.

A jet is moving through the air at Mach 3. it's gotten quieter in the cockpit, because the jet is moving faster than the noise it is producing. The pilot keys his mic and talks to the tower. His voice is being spoken in a bubble of air (interior of the cockpit) that is moving at Mach 3 so the sounds he makes seem normal in that enclosed environment.

A space ship is flying near/at the speed of light. Light as we know it is perceived far differently depending upon which direction an observer is viewing. Blue shift red shift. An observer inside the spaceship however turns on a light and views his surroundings with no problem. I understand the Doppler affect of a train whistle as it goes by, but wonder what exactly happens if a search light were aimed forward of the speeding space ship. Would the photons/light energy be amassed near the front of the space ship? Sort of a "Photon torpedo," or would it become a different form of energy that travels faster than the speed of light. Because everything gains in mass the nearer it approaches the speed limit of light, why don't photons have annihilating properties? They are traveling at light speed, so they should ave infinite mass. Their mass is used for solar sails and move space craft with light pressure

I'm curious and want to know. I hate junk science in sci-fi and want to write a good one.

Open Blog - Friday

With the current temperature, this doesn't look half bad...

What Should I Do?

First, there was the Nike commercial featuring professional basketball player Lebron James:



Now comes the Brett Favre parody commercial, made by Tony Yacenda and Dan Perrault, featuring Sean Carrigan as Brett Favre: [Adult Language & Situations]



Personally, I don't care what he does.

Simulating a Curious Landing

The next generation Mars rover, named Curiosity, is scheduled to launch later this year. Construction is nearing the final phases and lots of tests are being conducted on Curiosity. The latest test is a test of the landing system. JPL released a short video of the test.

Curiosity can't use the airbag system of previous rovers as it is too big and heavy, hence the sky crane concept. Curiosity will be the first spacecraft to use this system so the testing has to be rigorous. You can see from the video, a platform has small rockets on it that hovers while the rover is lowered to the surface. The rockets won't be able to make this craft hover for long since they carry very limited fuel so they only get one shot at it. Everything has to work perfectly the first time without intervention from us on Earth (Mars is much too far away...round trip light travel time varies from about 8 minutes to over 20 minutes depending on their positions in their respective orbits).

If you want to watch curiosity under construction, JPL has a "Curiosity Cam".

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

The "I'm too stupid" files

Another case of "The coffee is hot, be careful" idiocy. Lawsuits. anyone can play if they're stupid. This gal is suing the mall for not coming to her aid. I'm going huh? She was drowning? She needs to dye her blond. She does a disservice to brunets.

Retroactive Political Correctness

"Radio stations told to censor Dire Straits"

"(Reuters) - Canadian radio stations have been warned to censor the 1985 Dire Straits hit 'Money for Nothing,' after a complaint that the lyrics of the Grammy Award-winning song were derogatory to gay men.

"A St. John's, Newfoundland, station should have edited the song to remove the word

'faggot' because it violates Canada's human rights standards, according to ruling this week by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council.

"A unnamed listener to OZ FM in the Atlantic Coast province complained to the industry watchdog last year after hearing the song, which features Dire Straits frontman Mark Knopfler and fellow rock star Sting.

"The council said it realized Dire Straits uses the word sarcastically, and its use might have been acceptable in 1985 when the best-selling 'Brothers in Arms' album was released, but said it was now inappropriate.

. . .

"The ruling comes in the wake of an uproar sparked by a U.S. scholar who decided to publish an edition of Mark Twain's novel 'Huckleberry Finn' that would remove the word 'nigger' to make it less offensive to some readers."

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE70D3WE20110114

It's sad that some people feel the need to impose their notions of what is "proper" not only on their contemporaries, but even on the past. What's next? Putting clothes on nudes in paintings and sculpture? Shakespeare's work is full of bawdy material. Ban the bard!

Personally, I thought Dire Straits' "Money for Nothing" was kick-ass then, and I still think it's kick-ass today:

"i carry your heart with me"

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-- e. e. cummings (1894 -1962)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._E._Cummings

"Burglars snort man's ashes, thought it was cocaine"

"(Reuters) - Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said on Wednesday.

"The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.

"Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.

"'The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine,' the sheriff's report said."

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE70I6KR20110119

That is funny, sad and macabre, all at the same time.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my pert Packer backers! How are you? The big chill is supposed to be upon us this week. Oh my, I really dislike it when the temperature gets near zero or below. I may have to give Ms. Beejay a visit in Florida, or perhaps Mr. hale-bopp in Arizona. I’m willing to go anywhere that is warm. (Mind you, hell is hot, not warm.) Maybe I’ll astral project myself to someplace tropical. Aruba? Mr. logjam just returned from Cancun – perhaps there? Oh, I don’t know, but if it gets too cold, I may take off for a few days in the sun.

Of course, if I do go, I’ll make sure I see the Green Bay Packers play. (Astral television now comes in HD.) Wasn’t the spanking that the Packers gave the Atlanta Falcons last Saturday something? The game started so ominously for the Packers, and the crowd noise was unbelievable. However, the game was already over at half time. Mr. Aaron Rodgers displayed a superb command of the game, as did the rest of the Packers. Now our green and gold gladiators face the infamous Chicago Bears on their home turf this Sunday for the NFC Championship, and a trip to the Super Bowl. Oh dear, this will be a battle that scribes will write about for ages. Songs will be sung and poems will be written about this game. The legendary Packers-Bears rivalry will explode on Soldier Field this weekend. Don’t miss the Packers beating the Bears in their own backyard. Onward, our Wisconsin warriors, to the Super Bowl!

I hope that all of you made it safely through the snowfall we had on Monday. It seems to me that the winter drivers get worse every year. If it isn’t someone who has no idea of how to drive in this weather, then it’s Mr. Overconfident, blasting along in his 4 wheel drive Conestoga wagon, rushing past everyone else. A tow truck driver once told me that he likes 4 wheel drive vehicles because they get stuck deeper in snow or mud and then he can charge more to free them. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t clean the snow and ice from their car. While they drive, snow blows off or breaks loose and hinders others drivers. Meanwhile, they can’t see a thing around them because they’ve only cleared a little space to look out of the windshield. And their lights are blocked by ice, too. Oh, that steams me! One of these days I will find myself behind such an ignorant driver and they may feel the wrath of Zoltar power.

As a public service, I thought I’d post a video of winter driving tips. As it turns out, there are a lot of winter driving tip videos out there. After watching about a dozen, I still had not seen one that covered all of the bases. I finally settled on the one below, “Safe Winter Driving Tips from The Hartford.” Of course, it contains a plug for Hartford insurance at the end. (Almost all of the videos were sponsored by some company or the other.)



And this video concerns one of my pet causes for winter:



Thank you one and all for taking the time to read my blog today. I do so enjoy having you visit. Quality time, spent with quality people - is anything better?

I predict that your future awaits you here: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Be very careful driving and walking out there. Stay alert and you won’t get hurt. And bundle up for the deep freeze. Brrr! I love you all. Umquhile!

Epic Escalator Man

You know it's a slow day in the funny video business when Epic Escalator Man is the best that you can come up with.

Open Blog - Wednesday

This is Wednesday.

This time I agree with the DNR!!!!

A new tag has been issued by the Wisconsin DNR:

Do Cats Land On Their Feet in Outer Space?

The answer lies below...

WHY THERE WERE NO FITNESS CENTERS IN THE 50's

Open Blog - Monday

Happy Monday - is that a contradiction in terms?

The Weekend After in Tucson

I was out of town and today is the first chance I had to go visit the various sites you have been seeing on the news the last week.

First outside her office. I pass this corner near the turnaround on a 12 mile running route I do.

Now to University Medical Center. This is an easy walk from where I work and where I was taken after my auto accident and where I have said goodbye to a couple of friends.
Finally to the Safeway (which is open again).

Packers Versus da Bears

The Sea Hawks aren't going to manage spanking the Bears it looks like. Now that Buckets is non-smoking, I might enjoy the game over there next week. Unless my neighbor is having a party.

Are You Watching the Packers Game Tonight?

I am. This one is for the North Division Championship of the NFC.  I'm normally not much of a football fan, but the Green Bay Packers have been very exciting this season.

Are you watching the game at home? Having a football party? Going to one? I'll watch it at home. I have a TV tuner card in my computer and can watch as I surf online.

Go Pack! Take down the Falcons!

http://www.packers.com/

Some Disturbing News....

I was just checking though the JTI comments awaiting moderation and those marked as spam by the filter. I was surprised at the vast number of comments we received for penis enlargement. Were any of you aware that we had that problem? I just wish they would have had the nerve to tell us that to our face instead of posting it anonymously!  ;o

Greenland's Early Sunrise

The latest thing going around the internet today is that the Sun rose on in a small burg called Ilulissat in Greenland on January 11th. Ilulissat is north of the arctic circle so it experiences 24 hours of darkness for several weeks. Nothing unusual there.

The unusual part is that the Sun usually rises again on January 13th. Therefore, the Sun came back two days early and the question is why.

The first thing to do is to verify the claims is true. I checked out the NOAA Sunrise/Sunset calculator (after finding what I think is the lat/long of Ilulissat. There are lots of places with similar names in Greenland!) and the US Naval Observatory. Sure enough, January 12th, no sunrise. January 13th, there is a sunrise and a very short day. Okay, NOAA and USNO agree with the prediction and they are pretty reputable in such matters.

The next thing is to verify the observation. This part is much trickier. The story has gone viral on the web. The best I can tell, it started with a story in the Daily Mail. Read it and you can see the details of who made the observations and where are pretty sketchy...okay, non-existant. No mention of the time of the observation, how long the Sun stayed up, location of observation, azimuth of the Sun (I don't consider the stock photo they used in the story to have any bearing on anything) or who made the observation. A photo of the sunrise with an identifiable landmark would have been REALLY useful!

Now on to the possible why (assuming it really happened).

First, let's get rid of all the crackpot theories. Earth's rotational axis has not changed. Astronomers use telescopes every night and measure the positions of stars down to tenths of an arc second (or finer) resolution every night. If something had happened like that, everyone around here would be totally whigged out about now, yet calm prevails at observatories around the world. This is not related to the bird deaths, 2012 non-sense, magnetic pole shifting, etc.

The idea that is getting the most play and traction is that global warming is to blame. Greenland has been well above average this year by about 3 degrees Celsius. The running idea is that the glaciers are melting and the horizon is lower. A lower horizon lets the Sun peak above it a little earlier. If this is the case, surveying crews should be able to make some measurements and confirm or deny this rather quickly.

I decided to play around a little bit and see what I could find out. Checking out the NOAA Solar Position Calculator , I found the center of the Sun was only 0.68 degrees below the horizon at local noon. Since the Sun has a radius of about .27 degrees, the center of the Sun was only .41 degrees below the horizon. Converting to radians gives an angle of about .007 radians. So now I have a pretty good idea of the the angle the tip of the glaciers must have descended to let the sun rise two days early.

But how many meters of melting would have to take place? The math is easy, but knowing the numbers to use is difficult. The answer depends very much on how far away these glaciers are located. Looking at Google Earth and Google maps is of limited utility since you I would need to know exactly where they were looking!

However, I can still make some general calculations here. Let's say the horizon is 10,000meters away (about six miles). The height the glaciers must have lost is simply the angle times the distance to the mountains (using the small angle approximation here and the angle is small enough that works pretty well) or 10,000*.007 = 70 meters or about 220 feet! Of course, if the glacier is much closer, the amount of ice lost could be much smaller. If you were 1000 meters away, it would only need to lose 7 meters (about 22 feet) off the top. However, without information on exactly where the observation was made, there's not much you can say about it (although that hasn't stopped any of the whackos out there!)

Now I should also point out that it could also be due to the ground rising. As glaciers melt, the ground will rise as there is less weight on it. I doubt this could rise enough in one year to create the effect by itself, but if the glaciers fell a little and the ground rose you might be in business.

However there are other explanations. Accuweather proposed an unusual concentration of methane in the atmosphere may have changed the index of refraction of the atmosphere at let the Sun be visible a couple of days early. I find this implausible as the amount of methane needed to do this would be huge! Volcanic eruptions can release enough pollutants into the atmosphere to give colorful sunsets, but even they do not change the atmosphere enough to affect the time of sunsets!

Much more likely is an atmospheric phenomena. A certain rare but understood shape of ice crystal (called a pyramidilly-terminated hexagonal prism for those following along at home) can produce a halo with a radius of 4 degrees. This halo would extend a little above the horizon giving the illusion of a sunrise. I think it is fairly safe to say that Greenland is cold enough for atmospheric ice crystals to form at this time of year. These are pretty rare but then again this doesn't happen every year! Again, a good picture of this would be amazingly useful.

Although I need more info, I would put my money on the small halo. The amount of ice that would have to fall off the top of a glacier is pretty large and a fall of that size probably would have been noticed so let's see some evidence of it (I know this just happened and in a pretty remote place, so I am willing to give them a little time to get the info here).

As regular readers know, I love photographing sunsets...maybe someone will fund me to go to Greenland next January and take some pics to get to the bottom of this!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Thank God, it's Friday! It's been a long week of overtime... This week's questions are about vacations.

1) When was the last time you took a vacation?

2) Where did you go to?

3) If you could just take a vacation right now, where would you go?

4) Where and when was your favorite vacation?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

How casual are you today?

Always Be Polite

Powdering My Nose!

A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.

At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.

So he turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose."

And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.

When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"

"Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.

"Well then," says the little girl, "You'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."

Snow Falling in the UK - Waist Deep!

I just got off the phone with a friend in the UK.

He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Heidi the Cross-Eyed Opossum

I think she looks scary. I may have trouble sleeping tonight.

Homemade Implants - Frances Dilorinzo - Chick Comedy

Some comedy for the ladies...pretty funny.,

Ornery winter time blahs

Sometimes you just need to blow something up. The kid in me laughed hard at this video. Hope you enjoy it too.

More Bird deaths reported

Officials have discovered more mass bird deaths reported. The latest was found in Philadelphia. Officials found 53 dead eagles. They are now worried about a group of falcons located in Georgia, and have dispatched a team from Wisconsin to check on them.

Officials are expecting to find more destruction on Saturday night.

More on this story as it happens.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sassy snowballs! How are you? We received another blanket of snow to grace our homes and streets. Just lovely, isn’t it? On my personal calendar, winter starts December 1 and ends February 28 (or 29). Spring: March, April, and May. Summer: June, July, and August. Fall: September, October, and November. So this Saturday is January 15, which means winter will be half over. Huzzah! Huzzah! It will be downhill from then on. I don’t care what Mr. T.S. Eliot said about April being the cruelest month; February can be a b-i-t-c-h. At least it’s short. I know it snows in March, dears, just like it sometimes does in November, but green buds peak up through the snow in March and that’s all the encouragement I need.

Also encouraging, even intoxicating, was our exalted and majestic Green Bay Packers’ win over the Philadelphia Eagles last Sunday. Our glorious Pack has been devastated and dilapidated by injuries this year, yet somehow they keep coming back to win. Now, on to the Divisional Championship game against the Atlanta Falcons this Saturday night! Please, most noble Packers, please pulverize your opponents so that they may know the might of cheese head power.

I know that we’re gaining a minute and a half of daylight with each day since the solstice, but the skies are still so glum this time of year. I think maybe I’m getting a case of the winter blahs, or blues. I noticed that a couple of other Irregulars mentioned that in their comments, too. As a public service, and in an effort to cheer myself up, I’ve “researched” the subject online (i.e., on YouTube). Here are my findings:



Or you could just take some antidepressants, which keep your serotonin levels high. Here are some suggestions for chasing away the winter blahs with Feng Shui:



Oh my, keep your doors clear so that when opportunity comes to knock, it doesn’t slip and fall, suing you for everything you’re worth. Finally, here’s a Today Show segment with Katie Couric on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):



Well, I hope that some of the above helps you if you have the winter blues. I have a special potion, Madame Zoltar’s® Blues-B-Gon™, but it has not yet been approved for sale in the United States (or anywhere else on the planet). I’m also considering marketing it as a gasoline additive.

Thank you my wonderful friends for visiting with me this week. I love spending time with you. How can we have the blues for long when we have each other? Our friendship warms us through the winter.

It’s tax time – contact me for “special handling” of your returns: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Hugs and kisses to you all. Keep warm, drive safe, take care of yourselves. Bullimong!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Pay no attention to the thermometer!

Ketchup Robot Fail

It's good to know that researchers and scientists relentlessly seek new ways to improve our lives.

Funny, Offensive or both?

The story that goes with this ad is that Pepsi had a contest to produce and ad and people would vote on the best one. The winner would air during the Super Bowl. This ad was supposedly ahead and the Catholic Church got it pulled (and have been trying to get it pulled from everywhere so we'll see if that's true and this link dies).



It made me laugh. I put the disclaimer on there since the only references I can find are really other blog sites...I would think Advertising Age or someone like that would have an official story on this if it were true, so enjoy, but take it with a big old grain of salt (and if you find confirmation of the story, feel free to post it).

15th Disney Marathon, Complete

Yep, just a quick happy update. Did my fifteenth consecutive Disney Marathon yesterday after getting back on my feet from the accident in September. Ran better than I expected. I lost a lot of training. I thought I would finish, but that the speed may be down quite a bit. Only a few minutes slower than last year, much closer than I expected. Good training next year and I could go even faster.

Weather was wonderful. Mid-40s and calm wind at the start. Mild breeze at the end, but it warmed up enough by then that it was still comfortable. Lots of characters on the course this year...maybe I could have come closer to last year's time if I didn't stop so much for pictures!

For the first time ever, they gave marathon finishers a free ticket to the parks for "Marathon Monday". You had to bring your finisher's medal, so just entering the race didn't get you the tix.

Good days. Signing up for #16 as soon as registration opens.

personal ad

AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Bur berry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 ...45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you, but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex