'Deranged', 'staggering', 'incoherent': Papers react to Trump's UN speech • FRANCE 24 English

Woman LOSES Her Mind After Innocent Fender Bender

What a waste of skin that this person is. Obviously, she's never been held responsible for her actions before.  How do the police keep their cool?

Redneck Plunger

http://www.ltdcommodities.com/Home-Improvement/Household-Helpers/The-Redneck-Plunger/prod1140079.jmp

" Police: Man Tries To Hide Drugs in His Butt"

From Racine County Eye:

http://racinecountyeye.com/police-man-tries-to-hide-drugs-in-his-butt/

You read the story.  I'm stunned at the stupidity of our criminals.

"Racine woman charged after going to the bathroom in public at Kmart"

From RacineUncovered:

"Melissa A Jacobson, 50 of Racine has been charged with one count of Disorderly Conduct and two counts of Resisting or Obstructing an Officer after she allegedly she urinated and defecated by a register at a local Kmart Store, after making her initial appearance in Racine Circuit Courts this afternoon. She was given a $500 signature bond"

Read more: http://racineuncovered.org/2015/03/racine-woman-charged-after-going-to-the-bathroom-in-public-in-a-kmart/


I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Chocolate Martini

This is my kind of Martini:

 



 

Chocolate Covered Strawberry Martini....2 oz vanilla vodka 3 oz chocolate liqueur 1/2 cup frozen strawberries, (about 5 or 6 whole) thawed 1 cup half & half Puree thawed strawberries with their juices in a small food processor. Combine all ingredients in a shaker and pour into martini glasses !

'drag queens'

Not every person in the photos below is a 'drag queen,' and that there's a big difference between a transgender person, a transvestite and a drag queen. A transgender person is someone who does not identify with their assigned sex and would most likely not want to be referred to as a 'drag queen.' A transvestite is a cross gender male who enjoys wearing women's clothing. A drag queen tends to be someone who dresses in women's clothing more for performance or entertainment.

Some of these dudes really know how to dress like a lady....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lgbt-news/10-historical-photos-and-_b_6625060.html
Photos credit of Huffington Post.

Tell Me About Your Stinky Story

Here is mine. Back in the mid 70’s my wife (at the time) we went up to Florence County Wisconsin. During deer hunting season there was an old farmer who would rent us his cabin.  Huge cabin, slept like 15 people.

Anywho, we went up a month early to check on some places to hunt and stayed in the cabin. The day we left the farmer gave us a big bag of Rutabagas. This was in October. Got home and took them in the house, no biggie.

Come summer my car is starting to stink. I looked everywhere, in the trunk, under the seats, even took the back seat out.

Finally, after a couple of weeks it was so bad I looked all over again and decided to take the spare tire out. I had a ’69 Plymouth Roadrunner and the spare was mounted in the back of the trunk on a slant.

I pull the tire out and there it was. “The runaway rutabaga, sitting there pulsating”!

It had rolled out of the bag and came to rest behind the tire. Then came the cleaning…

Safety Ad

Great Way to Peel Apples

This is too good........

Click here to see   How to Peel Apples for a Pie

Are you pooping right??

This guy makes me laugh, the things he comes up with,

enjoy!

"School worker accused of having sex with cow"

Edit: I found a second video.





http://wtnh.com/2014/02/25/school-worker-accused-sex-cow/

“Two men are in jail, one cow is dead, and three cars are totaled.”

I'm still laughing.

Which video is real? Are they both real? Does it matter to the cow?

One Advantage to the Extreme Cold Weather

I can think of one advantage to the extreme cold weather; that is, you can get a nice cold drink of water right out of your kitchen faucet.

Crow Kills on the Highway

This is very important to know about the CROW KILLS on the highways across the nation.

 

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

 

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

 

However, during the detailed (and probably very costly I might add) analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

 

Did you know that paint is different on trucks than on cars?

 

I don't know how do they know that stuff? ... Scary Hey?

 

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

 

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause:

 

when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah",

 

........... not a single one could shout "Truck."

 

Absolutely amazing!

"Black Friday Shopping Chaos [Super Cut Compilation]"

Thanks to Racine Community Media for posting this video: http://racinecommunitymedia.tumblr.com/post/68618066660/black-friday-madness-a-video-montage-capturing

What have we become? 

"Black Friday bargain hunters pitch tents outside of Ohio Best Buy 10 DAYS early"

"A group of hard-core bargain hunters has already lined up outside at least one Best Buy for Black Friday sales.

"The dedicated shoppers set up three large tents outside the big-box store in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, a whopping 10 days before the annual post-Thanksgiving shopping spree that sends hordes of customers scrambling for deals.

"They’re waiting in comfort, with tents rigged with generators, flat-screen TVs, microwaves, heaters and mattresses.

"Jonas Allooh had the honor of being in first in line on Monday, the Akron Beacon Journal reported.

"The next day, he was joined by Tony Avitar, who was first in line last year."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/black-friday-bargain-hunters-line-10-days-early-ohio-article-1.1525737#ixzz2lQejS6Fr

I don't understand people.

"Woman loses her mind at McDonalds"

Wow! That's why I don't use the drive-thru.

"Firefighters rescue man's penis from toaster - then warn people to start using 'common sense'"

"'Fifty Shades of Grey effect' has also seen 79 'victims' freed from handcuffs after sex games went wrong."

"Firefighters came to the rescue of a man in distress when he got his penis stuck in a toaster.

"It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to, but fortunately London's finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device.

"Unbelievably, another adventurer rivalled his ridiculous antics by somehow getting his member lodged in a vacuum cleaner.

"And the ultra-professional London Fire Brigade staff have had to free 79 people from handcuffs in the last three years alone.

"These embarrassing incidents are just some of 1,300 involving people being trapped or stuck which have been attended by London Fire Brigade since 2010.

"Each rescue mission costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning they have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000 in total.

"Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: 'Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense.

“'I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.

“'I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them.

“'I’d like to remind everyone 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such.

“'When firefighters are out attending to some of these avoidable incidents, someone else could be in real need of emergency assistance.'”

Read nore: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-rescue-mans-penis-toaster-2346520


Oh. My. God. The toaster?  Was it plugged in?  How long before someone tries to make love to a garbage disposer?

"How The 1% Twerk"

Jerking your butt to classical music puts class in your ass.

"Spooky clown mystery grips Northampton"

From the Northampton Herald & Post:

Written by STEVE SCOLES
 
"A spooky clown has been scaring Northampton residents in full costume and make up.

"He is red haired and white faced and has appeared in several locations in the Abington and Kingsley areas.

"A Facebook page has now been set up for the clown called Spot Northampton's Clown which has already achieved over 3,000 likes since it went live yesterday.

"The clown has proved a sensation on social media and has its own Twitter hashtag #northamptonclown.

"According to reports it has knocked on someone's door and offered to paint their sills despite having no painting equipment.

"Let us know if you see it too. Here are some Tweets about the clown so far:

Had to look out my window to check for a clown. No clown. Phew. #clownwatch #northamptonclown
— Matthew Whitehouse (@matt_whitehouse) September 13, 2013"

Read more:  http://www.northampton-news-hp.co.uk/News/Northampton-News/Spooky-clown-mystery-grips-Northampton-14092013.htm


Clowns scare me.  The clown in this story is a dedicated bozo to put on a costume and all that makeup just to spook people.  If he did that in the USA, he might be shot.