Thursday, October 10, 2013

"Firefighters rescue man's penis from toaster - then warn people to start using 'common sense'"

"'Fifty Shades of Grey effect' has also seen 79 'victims' freed from handcuffs after sex games went wrong."

"Firefighters came to the rescue of a man in distress when he got his penis stuck in a toaster.

"It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to, but fortunately London's finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device.

"Unbelievably, another adventurer rivalled his ridiculous antics by somehow getting his member lodged in a vacuum cleaner.

"And the ultra-professional London Fire Brigade staff have had to free 79 people from handcuffs in the last three years alone.

"These embarrassing incidents are just some of 1,300 involving people being trapped or stuck which have been attended by London Fire Brigade since 2010.

"Each rescue mission costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning they have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000 in total.

"Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: 'Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense.

“'I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.

“'I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them.

“'I’d like to remind everyone 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such.

“'When firefighters are out attending to some of these avoidable incidents, someone else could be in real need of emergency assistance.'”

Read nore:

Oh. My. God. The toaster?  Was it plugged in?  How long before someone tries to make love to a garbage disposer?


OKIE said...

Okay, I'll say it. Shocking!

SER said...

Sack nut roasting in the toaster tonight....

kkdither said...

I'm feeling warm and tingly... get your mind out of the gutter, my pop tart is ready. lol

Toad said...

Yup "to go where no man's gone before"

OrbsCorbs said...

Maybe he has a small appliance fetish and regularly makes love to the toaster, coffee maker, blender, etc.