Saturday, October 12, 2013

Useless Information


Did you Know:
 
One of my favorite candies is “Smarties”.
 
Smarties are produced by Smarties Candy Company Union Township, Union County, New Jersey, and produced by their Newmarket, Ontario, plant.
 
Certain times of the year, such as Halloween, the US plant cannot produce enough for the candy lovers here so they import them from their Canadian plant.
 
The only differences between the two are the candies made in Canada it says “Made in Canada” under the name Smarties on the wrapper

Welcome to the USA

My parents arrived in New York City in 1949.  My three-year-old sister was with them.  I didn’t exist yet.  They were “DPs” (Displaced Persons), refugees from World War II.  In my parents’ case, their homeland, Latvia, had been invaded by the Germans, then the Russians ‘liberated’ it, but they stayed there.  The same fate befell the other two Baltic States, Lithuania and Estonia.

At war’s end, as an “Iron Curtain” drew down on my parents in Riga, Latvia, they had to make a decision: stay or go?  If they stayed, they would live under Communist rule.  If they went, . . . ? 

They left and ended up in a refugee camp in Berchtesgaden, Germany. Yes, that’s where Hitler’s retreat was, but that was up in the mountains.  My parents lived in plain wood barracks.  My sister was born there while they waited for their opportunity to immigrate to another country.  They almost were accepted by Australia, but were finally offered a sponsorship into the United States of America.

There were so many immigrants then that someone in the US had to guarantee you a job and a place to live for a year in order for you to get in.  My parents were sponsored by a family in Ohio.  They were farmers.  My father was a machinist and hated farm work, but he put in a year.  He had never seen corn until the first time he fed it to the pigs.  Thereafter, he called corn “pig food” and wouldn’t eat it.

Back on the docks of New York City, my parents were amongst hundreds of other DPs.  All of them had meetings, trains, buses, or other schedules to make.  A nice guy expressed interest in my father’s gold wedding ring.  He asked if he could hold it to see it better.  My father gave him the ring.  Somebody bumped into my father and he turned to see who it was.  They were gone.  When he turned back to the nice guy and his wedding ring, they were gone, too.  Welcome to the United States of America.

Open Blog - Weekend


Savor some down time.

Friday, October 11, 2013

"Shutdown Makes Craft Brewer Taps Run Dry"



Our leaders are derelict.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! It's the first thing in the morning, Four for Fridays! It has been a busy, busy, busy week and I'm getting behind in things. At I least I have some time this weekend to catch up. (I hope) Anyways, your questions....

1) If you could bring one thing back from the past to the present day, what would that be?

2) What is your favorite Disney movie?

3) If you were a police officer for a day, what would you do with your authority?

4) What event do you think signifies (or you identify with) the '90's?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday


I'll take all the hugs I can get.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Caledonia Patch and Mt Pleasant -Sturtevant Patch to Close

Heather Asiyanbi
From Mount Pleasant Patch:

"Farewell, Mount Pleasant-Sturtevant Patchers"

"Mount Pleasant-Sturtevant Patch is coming to an end on Oct. 15. What we created together was important and means more than you could ever know."

"Firefighters rescue man's penis from toaster - then warn people to start using 'common sense'"


"'Fifty Shades of Grey effect' has also seen 79 'victims' freed from handcuffs after sex games went wrong."

"Firefighters came to the rescue of a man in distress when he got his penis stuck in a toaster.

"It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to, but fortunately London's finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device.

"Unbelievably, another adventurer rivalled his ridiculous antics by somehow getting his member lodged in a vacuum cleaner.

"And the ultra-professional London Fire Brigade staff have had to free 79 people from handcuffs in the last three years alone.

"These embarrassing incidents are just some of 1,300 involving people being trapped or stuck which have been attended by London Fire Brigade since 2010.

"Each rescue mission costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning they have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000 in total.

"Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: 'Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense.

“'I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.

“'I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them.

“'I’d like to remind everyone 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such.

“'When firefighters are out attending to some of these avoidable incidents, someone else could be in real need of emergency assistance.'”

Read nore: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-rescue-mans-penis-toaster-2346520


Oh. My. God. The toaster?  Was it plugged in?  How long before someone tries to make love to a garbage disposer?

Fire safety exam


Open Blog - Thursday


Pretty butterflies.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Hump Day


Relationships


A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.


The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."

The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response.
Here are some of the replies:


1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's up with you??
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the f*ck did you do now?
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she??

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my autumn angels!  How are you?  So sorry that I took last week off.  I had to do something, but I can’t remember what.  Even though I’m psychic, my memory is getting bad.  I can see what’s coming, but not what’s gone.

The weather has been seasonably crisp.  Good-bye summer 2013.  Boo hoo.  More and more trees are changing color and losing their leaves.  Nature’s beauty can be so stunning, yet so transitory.  Now’s the time for burning bushes to burn their fierce red.  Now’s the time for jumping into piles of leaves.

Hooray, hooray! Our chivalric and magnanimous Green Bay Packers defeated the whimpering Detroit Lions this Sunday past.  This coming Sunday, the sublime and transcendent Packers meet the lowly Baltimore Ravens.  “Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore!’” I believe that refers to their chances against our majestic Pack.

Unfortunately, my Screaming Psychics in the Irregular Football League are currently in last place.  On the other hand, the Orbliterators are in first place and remain unbeaten.  Speaking of this, I know, Mr. OrbsCorbs, that is you telephoning me after each of your wins and yelling, “Booyah!”  One more time, turkey, and you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.

I keep reading and seeing stories about the latest scandal swirling around Mr. Mayor Dickert: the possible sale of a Native American burial mound.  Talk about some bad joojoo, even I won’t mess with Native American curses.  Those are some mightily ticked off spirits.  You would be, too, if your land and way of life were stolen from you.  I have no advice for Mr. Mayor because he never asks for it.  He’s now claiming to be part Native American himself.  Which part, I wonder?  Is it for sale?

The federal government is shut down because of bickering over the Affordable Care Act.  This has a detrimental impact upon untold areas of government and society, rippling out to the furthest reaches.  Who are these people in Washington, DC?  Today, Congress has an 11% approval rating: http://www.gallup.com/poll/165281/congress-job-approval-falls-amid-gov-shutdown.aspx  It doesn’t seem to faze them in the least.  I don’t understand the people who do these things.

Here’s a prank in a coffee shop involving “telekinesis.”  Boo!


Oh my.  And I thought I had some bad days.  How can she repeatedly scream like that?  (By the way, why do YouTube videos now start silent?  They used to start with the sound on.  Now I have to turn it on.)

Thank you, my dears, for reading my blog today.  You are the sunshine of my life.  Shine on, my friends.  Feel the Irregular love.  It makes me tingly and shivery.

The government shut down, but will it ever shut up?  Find out: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the weather while we have it.  Soon comes you-know-what.  That makes me shudder.  Be kind to each other and help those in need.  I love you all.  Tachydidaxy!

Open Blog - Wednesday


Happy hump day!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Life

Life

Perhaps the most profound philosophy in recent times:

"Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free, it's women who make it hard."

Open Blog - Tuesday


Why is that zebra gaping at me?

Monday, October 7, 2013

"New $100 Bill Touts Added Security Features"



It said that half of all $100 bills are not in the US.  That's because the drug cartels have them.

Useless Information

Did you Know:

It all started in a small drive-in restaurant in San Bernardino, California in the late 1940′s. The restaurant was owned by the two brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald’s.

In 1963 McDonald’s sold one million hamburgers per day and the same year hamburger number 1 billion was served.

Today McDonald’s has more than 31,000 restaurants worldwide. They serve 47 million customers daily. Revenue of around $24 billion.

As a note:
Even though the McDonald’s Brother had a great franchise concept they had no ambition to take the franchise nationwide. Ray Kroc, a local sales man saw the potential in the franchise and was the driving force to make McDonalds what it is today.
 

The Seven Wonders of the World

Warren Zevon - "Lawyers, Guns & Money"



This is a partial repost: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/09/early-labor-day-musical-double-feature.html

I personally met the Werewolf of London in the hallway outside of a Zevon concert.  I was pouting/having a cigarette and he was waiting to make his appearance.

Open Blog - Monday


No one loves Monday.