Saturday, May 18, 2013

80 YEAR OLD MAN

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Uh oh!"

The man asked the doctor what the problem was.

"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke " "No," replied the man.

"Do you drink in excess?" "No," replied the man.

"Do you have a sex life?" "As a matter of fact, I do!"

"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life."

Looking perplexed, the old man asked, "Which half...the LOOKING or the THINKING???"

Dream Ticket


Democrat's 2016 Dream Ticket



My name is Barney Frank and I approve this ad...

Open Blog - Weekend


You, too.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Warblers

It's that time of year.... The warbler migration has finally reached its peak, sending flocks of birders into the woods with hopes of tallying up their life lists.

Wisconsin is the host to 42 species of these highly active and colorful birds. Personally, I have only seen 24 of these species. They spread across the state in a wide range of habitats with a majority of them taking a liking to dense woodlands. Finding them is not easy.

If found, photographing them can be a nightmare. They flit from tree to tree, branch to branch-always in motion..... It goes something like this: See bird. Focus in. Snap picture. Get a wing. Try again. Get a blur. Try again, miss it completely and get branches. Try again, bird gone. Pull hair out and cuss. Repeat process until you get lucky.

However, I have gotten lucky... The top picture is a Yellow Rumped Warbler taken at Shoop Park on 5/13/2013. The first one below is a Common Yellowthroat taken at Shoop Park on 5/17/2013. The next one down is a Yellow Warbler taken on Carver School near East Troy on 5/11/2013. The bottom one is a Black Throated Green Warbler taken at Grant Park in South Milwaukee on 4/30/2013.






If you wish, NOW is the time to see them! That is, BEFORE the leaves finish covering up trees, making them really difficult to see. One of the state's hotspots is Racine's very own Colonial Park, located on West High Street by the Root River. Presently, the Hoy Audubon Society is having warbler walks at Colonial Park on Wednesday nights at 5:30 during the month of May. That's were I have seen most of my warblers. I'll leave you with a picture of a Palm Warbler taken at the "Ponds" Subdivision in Caledonia on 4/23/2013.

Happy birding!  


     

The Last Party of the School Year!

We could not believe this when we went to Whitewater University to pick my daughter to bring her home. Driving down the main street on the college campus the garbage in the yards from the kids having a party the night before. You can say it usually is going out with a bang but for the kids it is going out with a hangover for the school year. When I seen the yards I told Drew I had to get a picture and write a blog about this. I was just wondering how many under age kids got fines for drinking. Here is the picture from the kids partying!


FOOTBALL SEASON


I KNOW YOU  ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO FOOTBALL SEASON.  WELL, HERE'S A LITTLE RECAP OF LAST YEAR.........
 
Alabama beat Arkansas
and Arkansas fired their coach
 
Alabama beat Tennessee
and Tennessee fired their coach
 
Alabama beat Auburn
and Auburn fired their coach 

Then Alabama beat Notre Dame, and the Pope resigned....... 

I sure wish the White House had a team

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody and welcome back! It has been a week of ups and downs, (mostly ups), but I survived and looking forward to a weekend of getting away. Anyways, some questions for you....

1) How many e-mails (on average) do you get a day?

2) What summer camps did you go as a child?

3) What is the most enjoyable experience your family has done together?

4) What topic of discussion did you find boring?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday


If you get a paycheck like that, I want to be your friend.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Power Outage

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The
house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old
girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped
deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi
pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The
paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor
began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the
wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the
first place......... smack his butt again!"

Open Blog - Thursday


That's great.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my fluid friends!  How are you?  The weather has kind of gotten warmer.  We’ve had a long winter and I’ll grab at any scrap of hope that I can, even if it’s just a few degrees.  I’ve seen daffodils and tulips flowering, so it must be spring.  If you go by the calendar, it’s spring.  If you go by the weather, it’s a schizophrenic mess.

Oh my, oh my, oh my! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!  I was reading in the newspaper about the toddler from Mount Pleasant who was tortured to death.  Apparently, it was done by his mother’s boyfriend.  I don’t know the words to convey my loathing for child killers.  Unfortunately, Racine’s Circuit Court does not share my opinion.  The last child murderer we had tortured Brian Haws to death.  That killer received only two years.  I believe that Racine County Criminal “Justice” System is sick and getting worse.  They regularly dismiss the value of a child’s life.  That’s another “pattern or practice.”  Sometimes I’m ashamed to say what city I live in.

What does it do to a city’s psyche when one of its most prominent, and richest, members is accused of child molestation, charges are filed, and then the case just sits for month after month?  I think it wounds us.  We need healing STAT.

This is the time of year when the parties are just gearing up in Racine.  I can’t keep track of them all, but the JournalTimes.com calendar has complete info on what is happening around town: http://journaltimes.com/calendar/  Thank you, JournalTimes.com, for all that you do for us.

I predict that we’ll see this sooner than later:


Thank you for stopping by, my irregular and regular readers.  I love spending time with you.  You are why I blog.

Become a psychic:  madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy whatever good weather we get.  I’d advise you to pray for warmth, but then it might zoom up into the 90’s.  This is better sleeping weather, not hot and humid.   Leptodactylous.

Open Blog - Wednesday


I wish I had wings. And x-ray vision.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Useless Information


Did you know:

Basketballs come in four sizes. They are usually measured by their circumference, but this can be converted to diameter and radius easily enough. 

Size 3: circumference 22 to 22.5 inches, weight 10-11 ounces, recommended for small children (age 5-8). It has a diameter of 7 to 7.16 inches and a radius of 3.5 to 3.58 inches.
 
Size 5: circumference 27.25 to 27.75 inches, weight 16.6-18 ounces recommended for boys and girls under 12 years old (junior league). It has a diameter of 8.67 to 8.83 inches and a radius of 4.34 to 4.42 inches.
 
Size 6: circumference 28.5 to 29 inches, weight 20 ounces, recommended for boys and 12-14 and girls and women age 12 and up. This is the official game ball for women's high school, university and professional basketball. It has a diameter of 9.07 to 9.23 inches and a radius of 4.54 to 4.62 inches.
 
Size 7: circumference 29.5 to 30 inches, weight 22 ounces, recommended for men and boys age 15 and up. This is the official game ball for men's high school, university and professional basketball. It has a diameter of 9.39 to 9.55 inches and a radius of 4.7 to 4.77 inches

Open Blog - Monday


Never say never.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The difference


The difference between the Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan is that the members of the Supreme Court dress in black robes and scare white people.

Happy Mother's Day!




We would like to wish all the Mom's a very Happy Mother's Day today and we hope you have a wonderful day!