I'm sorry this blog is late, but our basement is flooded. At first I heard Junior's whoops of joy, soon to be replaced by Senor Zanza cursing. He's been in the basement for hours now. What could he be doing? Fishing?
Mayor lying John has announced his last day on the job: July 16, which also happens to be Mr. OrbsCorbs' 66th birthday. I can't think of a finer gift to give Mr. OrbsCorbs. Although he's toned down the rhetoric in recent years, Mr. OrbsCorbs used to taunt the mayor daily.
I wonder if lying John has left an orderly plan for this transition? LOL. Not. I wonder how much money his comrades stand to make? We've given away millions already. What's a few million more?
I'm not at all impressed with the three people who have announced their candidacy for mayor. If this is the best Racine can scrape up, then we deserve everything we get (or don't get). I can understand, though, an honest person's reluctance to walk into a cesspool. Most Racinians are blind to lying John's machinations. No one cares as long as their belly is full. No one cares until the taxes are due.
This is a real chance to put someone who is ethical and has the community's best interest in mind into office. I'm sorry to say that I think we'll blow it. It's like we have a death wish. We'll elect some Dickert stooge, and not much will change. Everyone keeps following orders. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.
Oh dear! More swearing from the basement. That doesn't sound good. I told him to beware electrocution. I'm not even going to ask him how it's going. That would just get me involved in the madness. When he's had enough, he'll come upstairs. I can make him a sandwich then and we can discuss the situation.
Obviously, we're not the only household that's flooded. The county has declared a state of emergency. I think that does little to help me. I'm not "connected." No one is going to come here and pump out the water unless I pay him/her to do it. I'm not even going to ask why our sump pump failed. It simply has. There's nothing to do now but deal with the damage.
Thank you for reading my blog. I love more readers. Mostly, we're a merry bunch, except when our basements are flooded.
Enjoy the warm temps even if it does rain too damn much. Wet and warm is better than wet and cold. We had some beautiful days last week. They'll return, I hope.
__________________________ Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at email@example.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order. Thank you.
listen, I’m back from my so-called vacation—can’t
believe President Orange Circus Peanut didn’t give Alaska back to the Russians
at the G20 Summit—just in time to land smack-dab in the middle of this
so-called Bastille Days Downtown Drink Beer in the Street and Oui-Oui in Les
Boulevard Fest. Focking swell.
again this fest coincides with the running-of-the-bulls-shit they got going
over in your Pamplona, Spain, which reminds me of an idea I had some years back
on how our Frenchie-palooza could attract a more culturally diverse patronage
(other than young white people walking around in circles)—a patronage that
would be brave, not cowardly, in pissing away their spend-able francs on
parlez-vous and what-not, what the fock.
suggested our Downtown French shebang could garner the annual international
attention and fervor like the “running of the bulls.” So why not during the
Bastille Days we periodically let loose a couple, three rampaging bulls at the
swell corner of Jefferson & Wells so as to attract the wealthy
international traveler bent on confronting death? Hey, you tell me.
yeah, I took a week off and now I’m back from my focking vacances, excuse my French. And why I go on a vacation, I can’t
tell you. All I get from a vacation is a reminder of a definition for insanity:
You keep repeating some kind of stupid-ass dead-end behavior, each time
thinking: “O Lord, please let the outcome be a little better just this one
time, would you, for christ sakes.” Yeah, I know that’s also the definition of
newspaper-column writing, but I’ll deal with that another time ’cause I got
other fish to fry.
betcha, my vacations never turn out the way I’d prefer. You want to know what
my vacations are like? I’ll tell you what they’re like. They’re like what
happened to this guy I know. Here:
One day this
guy I know is on his way to lunch and walks right by a snazzy travel agency
with a sign in the window that says, “Four-day cruise down the Murray River—$40
He can’t believe
the price, and a nice relaxing river cruise was exactly what he had in mind for
vacation that year. So he races into the agency, slaps two Jacksons down on the
counter and tells the agent he wants to book a Murray cruise. Agent says, “Very
good, sir,” whips out a baseball bat and knocks the guy stone-cold out.
So he comes to
and finds himself strapped to a floating log racing down a white-water river. A
little ways down, he sees another guy strapped to a log rolling down the other
side of the river.
Murray cruise?” he shouts out. “Hey, you betcha,” says his fellow cruiser on
the other side.
I’ll bet we don’t even get breakfast,” he yells. “I don’t know,” says the other
guy, “we did last year.” Ba-ding!
my “week off” wasn’t to be one of those vacation
vacations where you just sit around on your cushy butt spending dough in hopes
to convince yourself you’re having a good time, no sir.
as a candidate to be your next governor of America’s Dairyland, I’ve heard tell
that our Badger State is one of these so-called “swing” states that could flip
either way, especially for a presidential election. So I thought it would be
wise for me to tour outposts like your Ladysmith, Cadott, Cornell, Black River
Falls, Solon Springs, Town of Barnes, and bamboozle the bumpkins with my
glad-hand just like a regular would-be governator.
I’ll tell you, “swing” is not the first word that comes to mind during a jaunt
through these hinterland haunts, unless come Saturday night you hang yourself
from a beam in the basement, just for something to do.
it’s a mystery to me that candidates for office believe that a quick stop here,
a pop-in there, can do very much to jack-up the opinion of elected
representatives held by the bucolic wing of the electorate. Cripes, I remember
a story from some years ago that shows just how much work needs to be done to
improve a would-be statesman’s standing with the cornfield crowd. I don’t know
if this story’s true but here it is anyways, what the fock:
On Friday afternoon, the entire state legislature of a state
located not-even-close to either coast was aboard the official state bus
touring a remote rural area when the driver lost control and crashed the bus
into a ditch. Sometime later, a local farmer sauntered by and upon finding the
politicians lying in the road, buried them.
It was reported that county sheriffs then arrived on the scene
just as the farmer finished tamping the dirt down over the last member of this
state’s legislature. Upon questioning the farmer about the wreck, a sheriff
asked, “So you buried ALL the politicians? Were they all dead?”
The farmer reportedly answered: “Well sir, some said they weren’t, but
you know how them politicians lie.”
Ba-ding! And thanks again to reader
Ingrid Mae. When I’m governor, no taxes for you ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
This is a documentary about a man who is often seized by aliens. He is often beat up and he doesn't know why, but he wakes up on the kitchen floor a lot, bloodied and disheveled. He also receives messages from the outsiders, sometime on his TV. So I'm watching this documentary when suddenly I see this:
There's a shart moment for you. I dropped my sandwich. Then I realized that this is the introduction to a part on orbs that follow Mr. Romanek around, often for miles.
Whew. For a second, I thought ET was coming for me.
Every Wednesday, Madame Zoltar responds to your queries and comments in her blog, Dear Madame Zoltar. Are the stars in your favor? What to do with that 401K? Find out by sending your questions and thoughts to: firstname.lastname@example.org
"The famed Bald Eagles from Decorah, Iowa are back on their nest and ready to start a new family! World famous and live streamed via the internet by the Raptor Resource Center, anyone can view the parents raise their eaglets from egg to fledglings from the comfort of their homes. Using infrared cameras and microphones, the eagles can be seen around the clock during the nesting season, which starts in January or February and runs till June."
PLEASE BE SURE TO READ OUR DISCLAIMER AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE
This website exists for entertainment purposes only. The reader is responsible for discerning the validity of information posted here, be it fictional or based on real events or people. The content of posts on this site, including but not limited to links to other web sites, are the expressed opinion of the original poster and are in no way representative of or endorsed by the owners or administration of this website. The posts on this website are the opinion of the specific author and are not statements of advice, opinion, or factual information on behalf of the owner or administration of JT Irregulars. This site may contain adult content and if you feel you might be offended by such content, you should log off immediately.
Not all posts on this website are intended as truthful or factual assertion by their authors. Some users of this website are participating in internet role playing, with or without the use of an avatar. NO post on this website should be considered factual information on face value alone. Users are encouraged to USE DISCERNMENT and do their own follow up research while reading and posting on this website. JT Irregulars reserves the right to make changes to, corrections and/or remove entirely at any time posts made on this website without notice. In addition, JT Irregulars disclaims any and all liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of a post on this website.
This site is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You should not assume that this site is error-free or that it will be suitable for the particular purpose which you have in mind when using it. In no event shall JT Irregulars be liable for any special, incidental, indirect or consequential damages of any kind, or any damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of use, data or profits, whether or not advised of the possibility of damage, and on any theory of liability, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of this site or other documents which are referenced by or linked to this site.
Some events depicted in certain posting and threads on this website may be fictitious and any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental. Some other articles may be based on actual events but which in certain cases incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. Certain characters may be composites, or entirely fictitious. We do not discriminate against the mentally ill!
Administrators may close an account, remove any post or comment and cancel author accounts as they, alone, deem necessary. You may contact the administration at email@example.com to report inappropriate use or to ask for the removal of specific material. The administration retains the final decision of what content constitutes appropriate use and what content is displayed.
Fair Use Notice: This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Users may make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of issues relating to civil rights, economics, individual rights, international affairs, liberty, science & technology, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.