It had been a really crazy week with the heat, humidity and the rain. Up north had tornado's and a lot of flooding. We will not see no relief from the humidity until next week. I hope everyone is staying somewhere that is nice and cool.
1) What are your plans for Father's Day?
2) Do you have to travel for Father's Day?
3) Do you remember one very special gift you gave to your Dad?
4) Did your family make a special day for your Dad?
Bump. I had two technicians over here. Check my comment.
I called Spectrum today with an internet connection problem. The guy said he had to reboot my modem. That knocks me offline until the reboot is completed. He said, "Talk to you in 15 minutes." That was over two hours ago.
This is the second major problem I've had since upgrading to Windows 7. Actually, it was a clean install, so none of the problems on the old operating system should have migrated to 7.
The other thing is that 7 is slower than XP. It takes 7 longer to perform the calculations necessary to an operation than XP did. I find that very demoralizing.
Hello, my sons and daughters of anarchy! How are you? Summer has arrived a week early around here: hot as hell and raining like crazy. These are the perfect condition for your garden plants. Unfortunately, they're also the perfect conditions for weeds. We've had so much rain and more is in the forecast. Oh boy. The farmers must be using drones to plant their crops. It's a muddy mess. Did you know that some seeds have to pass through the stomach acids of birds before they become fertile.
As I write this, some members of a Republican baseball team were shot this morning. I decry this cowardly act unless we get to take shots at the Democrats, too. This is just further evidence of the decline of our society. I knew they would start shooting elected officials, it was just a matter of when. Look for shooters to go after bigger targets. Mr. Trump, watch your ass. You might wake up to terrorists in the White House soon. They won't be impressed with your huffing and puffing. Most of is aren't.
I was sorry to read that Mr. OrbsCorbs continues to have computer problems even after upgrading his operating system. It just makes me that much more squeamish about updating my system. I'll probably buy a new computer instead. I'll just have to borrow a thousand dollars from Senor Zanza. Ha-ha! When hell freezes over. When I die, I want them to bury my computer with me. Or at least the hard drive. I don't want any Zoltar secrets being made known.
Look at this:
Cats stuck on the top of a bank. I bet they're tunneling in. I hate Chase, dear kittens, so please destroy the place for me. From the story:
"On Tuesday, El Segundo Animal Control
and city fire department officials tried and failed to rescue three
kittens that have been stranded on the roof of a Chase Bank for nearly
"For weeks, volunteers
from three separate animal rescue groups have been going at night to
feed the kittens by tossing food up to the roof of the building, located
on Sepulveda Boulevard in El Segundo.
bank, which is leasing the building, said the property manager has been
denying roof access to everyone thus far due to liability concerns — except for fire department officials, who first responded Tuesday but were unable to locate the kittens"
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a
world, ain’a? And yes, I hear we got Father’s Day coming up this Sunday and
I’ll tell you’s, with the bad rap fathers have got in the press and on the TV
for far too long, I’m surprised the day is celebrated at all. Cripes, why don’t they just go ahead and change
Father’s Day to Deadbeat Dad’s Day, or Workaholic
Dad-You’re-Never-Around-The-Focking-House-When-We-Need-You Day, what the fock.
And yes, I’m too
busy to serve up an essay here again this week. Foremost, I’m about to leave
for the Uptowner tavern/charm school where me and the fellas shall gather to
make our Polish Fest plans for the weekend. Yeah yeah, perhaps “she’s too fat
for me,” but you can bet your buck two-eighty that never not ever is “she too
drunk for me,” you betcha.
And yes, I am
reminded that June 16 is to celebrate the 113th anniversary of the novelistic
day that took an Irish guy by the name of James Joyce practically 10 million
pages and who knows how many gallons of whiskey to write about, lo, those years
ago—perhaps the greatest focking novel nobody’s never not ever read all the way
And yes, I’m
reminded of a little story:
upon a time and a very good time it was, there was an Irishman, an Italian and a
Polish guy in a tavern, sitting around and enjoying a couple, three rounds of
cocktails. James, the Irishman, says, “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I
come from, back in Dublin, there’s a better one. At Lucky’s, you buy a drink,
you buy another drink, and Lucky himself will buy your third drink!” The others
agree that it sounds like a nice place.
Dante the Italian guy says, “Yeah, that’s a nice bar, but where I come from,
there’s a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there’s this place, Pozzo’s. At Pozzo’s,
you buy a drink, Pozzo buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Pozzo buys you
another drink.” They all agree that also sounds like a very great bar.
the Polish guy, let’s call him Kumbalek, says, “You’s guys think that’s great?
In my neighborhood, there’s this place called Godotski’s. At Godotski’s, they
buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your
third drink, and then they take you in the back and get you some action!”
other two guys are smithied with wonderment. “That’s fantabulous! Did that
actually happen to you?” they want to know. And Kumbalek, the Polish guy, says,
“No, but it happened to my sister!” Ba-ding!
And yes, then
later, Kumbalek approached a lady named Didi wouldn’t you know, sitting
solitary at the end of the bar. A man of direct address, Kumbalek said he’d
been waiting to meet an attractive gal such as she was, and told her he’d like
to get into her pants, if that were to be copacetic. Didi says, “No thanks,
there’s an ass in there already.” Ba-ding-ding-ding!
yes, about the state of today’s health care: Guy goes to the doctor. Doctor
says, “I have some bad news, and some very bad news.” The guy says, “Might as
well give me the bad news first, I guess.” Doctor says, “The lab called with your
test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.” Guy says, “24 HOURS! You
got to be jerking my beefaroni. So what the fock’s the very bad news?” Doctor
says, “I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.” Ba-ding!
yes, if you are to see dear old dad come Sunday you’re too focking cheap to spring for a gift for the old
fart, how ’bout you bring him a nice little story?
One day, during a lesson on
proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the
word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Molly,
who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she
looked beautiful in it.”
“Very good, Molly,” replied
the teacher. She then called on little Stephen.
“My mommy planned a beautiful
banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.
“Excellent, Stephen!” Then,
the teacher called on little Leo.
“Last night, at the dinner
table, my sister told my dad that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful.
That’s just FOCKING beautiful!’” Ba-ding!
yes, of fathers, of sons, this time of year, I’ll be seeing you, as the song
goes, in all the familiar places, in every lovely summer’s day, I remember you, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek, and I told you
Every Wednesday, Madame Zoltar responds to your queries and comments in her blog, Dear Madame Zoltar. Are the stars in your favor? What to do with that 401K? Find out by sending your questions and thoughts to: email@example.com
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