Saturday, September 17, 2011
I drove past Brew Fest today on my way to and from mom's. I have never seen so many people converge on the Zoo. N. Main Street was almost impassable at points. Cars and buses were parked everywhere. Lines of people snaked down N. Main and Goold Streets, waiting to get in. There had to be thousands. I snapped some quick pics as I drove past:
Meanwhile, this was the scene at Home Expo:
Congratulations to Dickert and the Journal Times for once again ignoring the will of the people of the City of Racine, Wisconsin.
My friend said, you must be some outdoors man!
No, I replied, I'm just a shitty golfer.
Friday, September 16, 2011
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."
So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like shit."
The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper."
So........... Don't mess with old people.
1) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
2) Do you remember your dreams?
3) What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
4) What are your best physical features?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
"Kenosha - No one tried to kill Scott Welch on Thursday afternoon - no German Messerschmitts dived toward him with guns blazing, no anti-aircraft guns shot deadly flak his way, and there were no bombs to drop over enemy targets.
"Otherwise, it looked much the same as the Flying Fortresses Welch piloted over Europe.
Welch flew 32 combat missions in B-17 bombers in 1944 in the skies over France and Germany, including the D-Day invasion. He earned a Purple Heart when shrapnel tore into his plane, through his seat and into his backside, and a Distinguished Flying Cross for piloting his plane and crew back to safety while wounded.
"Until Thursday he had not flown in a Flying Fortress since he was a skinny 21-year-old kid. So he jumped at the chance to fly in a B-17 restored in the markings of the 398th Bomb Group.
"'It's very heavy on the controls. When you wanted to roll the wings, it took quite a bit of force,' Welch said before Thursday's flight at Kenosha Regional Airport. 'I weighed 135 pounds, and my shoulders looked like a wrestler.'
"Welch, 88, of Silver Lake, climbed into the EAA-owned B-17 Flying Fortress dubbed 'Aluminum Overcast' along with a few other World War II B-17 veterans for a quick flight over Lake Michigan. Also on the trip was Carl Nielsen, 89, of Racine, a B-17 navigator who was shot down over Wurzberg, Germany, on his 31st mission and was a prisoner of war for nine months.
"Asked if he was anxious to fly in the B-17 again, considering his last trip ended in a bailout over Nazi Germany, Nielsen smiled.
"'I got 800 hours already. Why should I be nervous about another 15 minutes?' said Nielsen, who proudly wore his red, white and blue Distinguished Flying Cross pin on his jacket."
Read more, including pictures and video: http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/129926883.html
From The Onion:
Finally, a Social Security reform bill that makes sense.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I remember the Oasis before it was the Oasis, when it was a beat down rat hole infested by druggies and gangbangers looking for trouble. It had been that way for years. Then Mr. Curtin had an idea. He proposed to the city that he open a business there and once again make it a safe place for people to patronize. They agreed and he started in. He had to fight off some of the scum who thought it was still their private piss hole. He worked and worked against the troublemakers, and he worked and worked to build his business. Soon, the Oasis became an integral part of North Beach's rebirth. Today, it is a smashing success.
So, of course, the city wants to mess with that. After one person's five year effort to build a flourishing business, the city intends to take it away from Mr. Curtin, because they want 5% more of the profits that they never earned in the first place. By "city" here, I, of course, refer to the high and mighty muckity-mucks in our local government who have never operated a successful business, but tell everyone else how to run theirs.
I know that the real city, the people of the city of Racine, Wisconsin, are better than that. We would never reward success by taking away someone's way of making a living. We would not demand 5% more of the profits unless we delivered 5% more in services. We are honest, forthright people. We don't treat others like that.
Of course, "we" are not the "city." The "city" is a force made of the select few who do as they wish with little regard to what we believe or think. I'd just like to apologize to Mr. Curtin on behalf of the people of the city of Racine, the real people who live and work here, and who patronized your Oasis. I am ashamed of our "leaders," sir, and I apologize for their greed. (GS Avarice LLC - look it up in your Funk & Wagnall's - they're spitting it right in our faces.) They do not represent us, only their own interests. Best wishes to you, sir, in all of your future endeavors.
Make your best guess and.... GO TO BED!
Answer revealed tomorrow.
Have at it.... first correct answer wins the virtual big check, the mirror ball trophy, or anything else we've stored in the musty JTI clubhouse closet! (your choice) ;>
See y'all tomorrow evening with the zoomed out picture.
Don't forget that this Friday and Saturday, Sept. 16 & 17, Great Lakes Brew Fest takes place at the Racine Zoo: http://www.greatlakesbrewfest.com/main.html Also this weekend, Fall Harvest Days take place at the Racine County Fairgrounds: http://www.fallharvestdays.com/fhds.html
Of course our exalted Green Bay Packers reigned triumphant over the New Orleans Saints last week. It was a very thrilling, back and forth game, but there was never any doubt in my mind as to the outcome. Madame Zoltar sees all. This coming Sunday our distinguished and most honorable Packers meet the Carolina Panthers. (Excuse me, but are they really a team? Really? Gee, I don’t remember them…) Our titans from Green Bay will declaw and defang the Panthers promptly. They will make nice house pets. Meow.
Speaking of being catty, have you heard the latest news out of Hollywood? Good, me neither. Meow, meow.
Honestly, the news from everywhere seems depressing. I suggest a case of my Blues-B-Gon elixir and a funny movie or videos, like the short clip below, which should serve as a warning to all amateurs trying to perform magic tricks without the proper training:
Oh my. I hope that young man was OK. Now remember, there are good reasons why you shouldn’t try magic unsupervised at home. Knocking over an entertainment center onto your little brother is hardly the worst thing that could happen. What if you unintentionally opened a portal into another dimension, or accidentally turned a family member into a frog? Then what? If you want me to undo the damage, it’s going to cost you, and big. It’s much better not to dabble in the dark arts in the first place. If you’re interested in such things, hire a guide or a teacher, like me. My rates are very reasonable and are on a sliding scale for those on a limited income. You can contact me anytime at email@example.com.
Thank you for reading my blog today, my lovely Irregulars and regulars. It’s wonderful of you to take time from your busy day for me. Thank you, again. I’d like to say that "we are strangers but once,” but the fact is that with the Irregulars, things get stranger all of the time.
[Confidential to Ms. Why Not?: Relax, you and the girls will have a smooth trip home.]
Enjoy the bucolic days of mid-September. Summer lays recent and warm in memory, winter is still but a dream. It’s a lovely time of year. Go, Pack, go! Repristinate!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
something in the air
something this afternoon leaning on a receptionist’s counter
the west sun warming the room
she was so pleasant I was hypnotized
I felt great for hours
I sense spring in autumn
something stirring in September
a shift, perhaps
a sudden spill towards hope in fall’s fading light
--OrbsCorbs, September 13, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
I was up at Kitt Peak Friday night with our Project Astro teachers and the weather wasn't totally cooperative. However, I grabbed my camera to get some shots.
My first shot is from the visitor's gallery of the Mayall Four Meter Telescope. The Sun is getting low in the sky and filtering through the clouds. Okay, I took this shot just because it reminded me of the appearance of God in Monty Python's The Holy Grail. For the record, God did not appear in the clouds and give us a quest that evening.
Rain moved in and we had a nice thunderstorm. The storms moved out and I went outside and tried for some lightning shots. The storms were generally farther away when I took these and the nearly full Moon was breaking through the clouds helping light up the landscape. That is the McMath-Pierce Solar Telescope in these shots. The storm was far enough away I wasn't worried about being struck!
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.