Friday, February 14, 2014

Olympic Scoring

I’ve been watching the Winter Olympics for at least 30 year and this year is the first time, when it comes to ice skating, each judge has a certain function to watch; I never knew this.
One judge will watch the skater’s feet, his/her ice skates and how they work on the ice.
One will watch the timing of the skater
One for technical value; how difficult the skaters program was.
I forgot the rest. I watch the program of pairs for instants, and I’m thinking they did pretty good and when the scores come up they suck.  Well I’m trying to watch the ‘whole’ skater and really do miss a lot of the little screw ups which can happen.  They run replays and sure enough, the landing was off, the timing was off.
No wonder you have to be so damn good to get to the Olympics.
My hat is off to all of our 2014 Olympians.


When you are over sixty who gives a shit

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.  She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose  patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, “Yesterday."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone and welcome back! It has been a busy, busy week..... Today is going to get much more busier. Looking forward to a quiet weekend.... Anyways your questions for the week.

1) Do you like to use post-it pads?

2) Who do you prefer, Leno or Letterman?

3) What kind of winter activities did you do when you were a kid?

4) Have you ever won a contest?

Enjoy your weekend!

Mother Nature doing her thing!

Amazing pictures up around Mackinac Island!!!
Michigan  has had the coldest winter in decades.
Water expands to freeze, and at Mackinaw City the water in Lake Huron below the surface ice was supercooled. It expanded to break through the surface ice and froze into this incredible wave.
This wave phenomenon occurs in Antarctica, but in Michigan? Yes, it's been quite a winter


Baby Blues

I, too, possess this superpower. I can use it only for good.

Open Blog - Valentine's Day

That's true love.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

"Star Wars OL"

Well that certainly makes things more interesting.

"Experts predict price increases after cable merger"

From The Journal

"RACINE COUNTY — The planned Time Warner-Comcast merger won’t impact Racine County customers right away, but changes will certainly be felt if and when the deal becomes final.

"What exactly those changes will be remains to be seen, experts say. A lot depends on whether Time Warner’s Milwaukee operations are consolidated with Comcast’s in Chicago, said Barry Orton, University of Wisconsin professor of telecommunications.

"Doing so could save the company money, but might not benefit consumers, he said.

“'Customer service is probably going to get worse' under that scenario, Orton said, though he added that Comcast and Time Warner generally get high customer-service marks compared to other cable companies.

"Orton and Marquette economics professor Abdur Chowdhury agreed that costs will likely go up. The merger will grow Comcast’s customer base from 22 million to 30 million, which gives it a higher national market share and will lead to a price increase locally, Chowdhury said.

“'In the long run, we will see an increase in price,' he said.

"Orton said the cost of Racine County residents’ cable will probably go up because, well, it always does. It has gone up consistently since Congressional action in 1992 dropped cable rates by 10 to 15 percent, he said.

"Orton has a saying about cable rates: 'You have to look at the natural order of how things go. Snow falls down, rates go up.'”

Read more:

"Snow falls down, rates go up." Wtf does that mean?  Do rates go down when the sun shines?

Never forget, the "natural order" of cable companies is to gouge their customers as deeply as possible.

The video below is a re-post, but the message is important.

Speaking of Lucy and Desi . . .

I had thousands of hangovers, but I stupidly blamed them on alcohol.

Open Blog - Thursday

Hi, Lucy!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

"What is Synchronicity? The Universe Conspiring Cooperatively to Create Your Reality"

I was looking for a video on synchronicity and found this one where the guy spends the last half of the video talking about Wisconsin. Is that synchronicity?

Actually, I consider that a rather poor definition of synchronicity, especially the New Age overtones.

Here's one about the man who invented the word.  Pay attention.  There'll be a test afterward.

Here's the test: describe an example of synchronicity from your life.

"Scum Cleaner"

From Milwaukee County Corruption:

“Only their hairdressers know for sure”
Take Notice John Chisholm
click on below to view court case

"Take notice M.P.D. Dean Newport and A.D.A.Megan Williamson

"The following is according to a confidential informant from craigslist:

"Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett’s hairdresser, Universal Allah (Yeah that’s his real name) was involved in the Stradivarius violin caper.

"Universal Allah was arrested along with Salah Jones for the tasering of master violinists Frank Almond and the theft of the Lipinski Stradivarius violin.

"Mayor Tom Barrett’s hairdresser purchased the taser used in the violin heist last summer from a company in Texas.

"Universal Allah bought the taser online, an ILLEGAL straw purchase for the guy that actually stole the Stradivarius violin.

"The MPD searched Universal’s residence and found information regarding the taser purchase.

"MPD further found premium Marijuana, scales and more. Universal Allah,  Mayor Barrett’s barber, then confessed all he knew, and that subsequent information led to the arrest of another individual and the recovery of the violin."

Read more:

Any story with a guy named "Universal Allah" in it has to be good.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my vivacious Valentines!  How are you?  Have the winter blues got you down?  Then try some of Madame Zoltar’s® new wonder drug: NTPS™ (Nerve Tonic and Paint Stripper).  With Madame Zoltar’s® NTPS™, you can exhale the years of paint off of any object, even your house or car. 

[Please don’t smoke while using our product and stay away from all possible sources of ignition.  Ingestion of NTPS™ in significant quantities may lead to explosive flatulence which will literally rip a new asshole.  Urination may be caustic to urinals, toilets, and other fixtures.]

Or, you could just get rip-roaring drunk.  In either case, the ennui returns the next day, and you have to deal with a hangover, and possibly the police.

Mr. OrbsCorbs and I have discussed this and previous winters.  We’re both inclined to agree that this winter is like the winters we remember from our youths.  What I think has been the anomaly is the twenty years of relatively mild winters that we’ve had prior to this one.

Hurray, hurray!  The salt ship has arrived in Milwaukee.  We can hardly wait to get back to rotting car and truck bodies while poisoning the soil. Oh shame on me.  I’m just as guilty as anyone of wanting salted streets and roads.  Safety first.  If you’re going to plant a tree or shrubs near a street that gets salted, be sure to plant a salt-resistant variety.  If you’re spreading salt on your sidewalks and driveways, use it sparingly, please.  It attacks your cement and slowly destroys it.

My comments to clients on the Olympics: “How about those Olympics!  Aren’t they exciting?  So many upsets.  What about the big thing last night?  Wow.”

In fact, I don’t watch them.  I have nothing against the Olympics or sports.  They just don’t interest me, but I pretend to be interested for business purposes.  Hurray for your nationality!

Finally, I want to thank Ms. kk for her marvelous suggestion of Madame Zoltar’s® Prediction Cookies™.  Each batch will include a large quantity of my nerve tonic.  All of the predictions will read: “You’ll soon feel better.”  The more you eat them, the better you feel, until blindness or psychosis occurs.  Tee-hee, my dears.  You know I’d never hurt the Irregulars or anyone else.

Thank you for reading my blog today.  I always feel better on the days my blog appears.  I think it’s because of the love that I am showing and that is being shown to me.  Thank you.

All you need is love.  And

Stay warm in the cold or cool in the heat wherever the Irregulars are.  I can tell that the days are getting longer because now it’s no longer dark at 5 PM.  Drive carefully, my friends.  Kalokagathia!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Open Blog - Tuesday


Sorry. Somehow this blog stayed in draft form rather than a scheduled post.  I was asleep at the wheel.

Just a reminder

There are only 2 more days until Valentine’s Day for you to get my present.

Please no diamonds, I dislike diamonds they are way to over rated, I would rather have a nice bottle of tequila (Jose Cuervo Gold) or Hennessy Cognac

De Beers Company has so many diamonds “squirreled” away that if they put them all on the market you could go to any 7-11 or Open Panty and buy a 3 or 4 caret diamond.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Local Loyalty - Smoke'd on the Water

Welcome back to this week's instalment!
Today's feature is  -

"The oasis on the right side of the bridge, closer to down-town", 
"pinched between Festival Hall and the lake", 
Smoke’d is located at the boat launch, 
where Salmon-a-rama is held, and is a truly hidden gem.

As you may have guessed, by the picture, 
Smoke'd is owned and run by Caleb, of Top Dog.
Smoke'd is open from roughly mid May thru mid October.
The hours are 10am-8pm, but will be extended with the summer season. 
The menu includes some of the favorites from the Top Dog menu, but also features smoked meats like pulled pork and chicken, and other goodies. 
Smoke'd on the Water opened the summer of 2012. 
His goal for Smoke'd is to get back to what it used to be at the boat launch. 
There will be live music Friday nights and during the weekends. 
I look forward to checking it out this summer.
His 3 words for this summer spot - 
1. Hidden - don't let that stop you from finding it!
2. Beautiful - on our lake
3. Upcoming

Let's help him get this place on the map, 
we may have to have a shin dig down there this summer. 
Watch Facebook for daily specials. 
Don't forget to tell them you saw it here!

Know Your Labs

From our email:

"Subject: Hello

"Remember me! Yes it’s the Racine News guy and yep I am still around! I am happy to see your community has grown and you have all stayed together. I am sure you know I still manager the Racine Uncovered & We are Racine web sites For Beth David it’s no secret

"I just wanted to stop in and say hi and let you know I revived the domain as a portal of links to some of the independent news sites and blogs around town. I hope you don’t mind I linked you guys in from your RSS feed. If you would rather not be featured just let me know and I will stop linking to you. Hope all is well send my love to Madame Zoltar!

" News Links and Feeds for Racine Wisconsin Racine Wisconsin Scanner (Live Audio) Internet and Security News For Nerds"

Welcome back!  Thank you for the link.

Racine News is now listed under Local News sites on our sidebar and Racine Scanner is in our Local & Area Blogs & Sites list. 

"Lobbyist or Mayor? Will the Real John Dickert Please Stand Up!"

From Racine Exposed:

"John Dickert  is a Senior Advisor to the Heartland Solutions Group and is currently serving in his second term as Mayor of Racine, Wisconsin."

"John Dickert is a very busy man – because he is also a Political Advisor at TrendPo."

Read more:

Say it ain't so, John.

Open Blog - Monday

Happy Monday!

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Seminar on how to live in a loving relationship

  A  group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship  with your husband.
The  women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All  the women raised their hands.
Then  they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved  him?"
Some  women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't  remember.
The  women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their  husband:
"I  love you, sweetheart."
The  women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read  aloud the text message they received, in response.
Here  are some of the replies:
1.    Who the hell is this?
2.    What’s the matter, are you sick or what?
3.    Yeah, and I love you too. What's up with  you??
4.    What now?  Did you crash the car again?
5.    I don't understand what you mean?
6.    What the hell did you do now?
7.    ?!?
8.    Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9.    Am I dreaming?
10.  Who’s the guy that you meant to send this to, he’s going to  die!
11.  I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the  day.
12.  Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't  she??
Sponsored by Mary...

"Olympic Commercial From Norway Is The Greatest Ever"

"Racine's mayor reacts to SC Johnson layoffs"

From WISN12:

"RACINE, Wis. —The mayor of Racine called SC Johnson's new round of layoffs 'a bump in the road.'

"The company is reportedly cutting as many as 400 employees, about twice as many as it announced in October.

"'I think what many companies are doing right now is they are shrinking a little bit of their company size to gain a little more economic strength and then come back in the future even stronger. And that's what we're hoping out of the SC Johnson company,' said Mayor John Dickert.

"Dickert said the job losses will offset big gains with new employers and current employers expanding in the area.

"He also said the city has been working with schools to get young people into job training programs.

"Racine's unemployment rate is around 11 percent, Dickert said."

What's he talking about?  "Dickert said the job losses will offset big gains with new employers and current employers expanding in the area."  What "big gains"?  What "new employers"? What "current employers expanding in the area"?  It's all lies.  That's all he does. 

Useless Information

Did You Know:
The fortune cookies were made by a San Francisco bakery, Benkyodo. David Jung, founder of the Hong Kong Noodle Company in Los Angeles, has made a competing claim that he invented the cookie in 1918. San Francisco's mock Court of Historical Review attempted to settle the dispute in 1983.
And each one contains a lie!  :)