Saturday, January 12, 2013

Buckwheat




It was announced today that Buckwheat, Of Our Gang fame, has converted To the Muslim faith and changed his name to:

Kareem of Wheat...

I just hope he doesn't become a cereal killer.!!

Open Blog - Weekend


Enjoy the weekend, wherever you are.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Flu



In the first few minutes of that video, Dr. Nancy Snyderman says that this year's flu vaccination is spot-on for this year's flu.

I received a vaccination.  So did my neighbor.  We got them from different places, and we both got the flu. How come? 

My sister and her family got their vaccinations, too.  When I spent a holiday meal with them, I was just coming down with symptoms.  I figured that they would all get sick, but my sister says no one is ill.

I know about a half dozen people who received the flu vaccination, but still got the flu.  If the vaccine is a perfect fit for this flu, why does this happen?  Is some vaccine expired, or less potent than others?

I get a flu shot every year. I normally do not get the flu.

Please partake of my unscientific survey below.

surveys & polls

My Garmin


I have a little Garmin
It sits there in my car
A Garmin is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are

I have a little Garmin
I've had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My Garmin is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counseling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off

Remembering how it used to be.


Teaching Millennial Math

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took
my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my
pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3
pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her
discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she
hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction
to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of
the evolution in teaching math since the 1960s:

1. Teaching Math In 1960s(when I was in school)
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No

4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number
20.

5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).

6. Teaching Math In 2010
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la
producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a
front for his pot farm. Grin

Why they don't have school shootings in Israel.

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody, welcome back to Four for Fridays! The week seemed to go by rather quickly didn't it? What if feels like....Anyways, some questions for ya!

1) Do you feel like there isn't enough time in a day to get everything done?

2) What part of your daily routine can you not function without?

3)  What was the last movie you saw in the theater?

4)  What is your favorite Disney Movie?

Enjoy your weekend!

"Asian Squat Toilets"



God bless the Internet.

Open Blog - Friday


Happy Friday, everybody.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Is This a Mean Mom?

Bronchitis

Dead crows near Halifax N.S.,

They just recently found over 200 dead crows near Halifax N.S., and there was concern that they may have died from the Avian Flu virus.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.

However, he was also able to determine that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with large trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact.

The Province of Nova Scotia hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine the disproportionate percentages for the large truck versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.

When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out Crow
in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."

Now you know!

"Sex Offender Placement Moved Because It's Too Close to Victim"

From Mount Pleasant Patch:

"The state Department of Health Services confirmed Wednesday that convicted sex offender Michael Fink will not be moved to a home on Lathrop Avenue in Manree Park.

"In an email to Patch, DHS spokeswoman Claire Smith said the reason Fink's release is being relocated is because one of his victims lives in the area.

"'I can confirm that we will not be placing Mr. Fink at the location that was proposed,' she wrote. 'We make every effort to ensure that individuals who are placed in the community are not placed near their victims. Had we known that a victim lived within a block or two, we would not have chosen that location.'

"A public information meeting had been scheduled for Thursday at Fratt School to help explain to neighborhood residents the conditions of Fink's release from Sand Ridge Secure Treatment Center, where he has been since 2008. That meeting is canceled now that Fink's placement is being re-evaluated."

Read more:  http://mountpleasant.patch.com/articles/sex-offender-meeting-cancelled


Where should we put these people?

"Learning to Cuss"

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.

The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.

WHACK!

He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"


I got that one in an email from Toad. Thank you, Toad!

"MPD - Clerk pulls gun on knife wielding robber"

From RacineUncovered.org:



Read more: http://racineuncovered.org/2013/01/clerk-pulls-gun-on-knife-wielding-robber/

Well, that should add more fuel to the fire.

Open Blog - Thursday


She's everywhere.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

5 surgeons!

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York, says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second, from Chicago, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.'

It's Only January

It's only January and my tree is starting to Bud out!
 
 

Hooded Merganser

Has anybody been down the harbor lately? If not, you should! Between now till spring is a great time to see a wide and diverse collection of waterfowl along the lakefront. Now that many of the inland lakes and ponds have frozen up many species of ducks have taken to the open waters of the Great Lakes. The Hooded Merganser is one of them.

The smallest of the three mergansers found in North America, the Hooded Merganser male sports an inflatable head crest of feathers that is used to attract the females.Adult males are a sight to behold, with sharp black-and-white patterns set off by chestnut flanks. Mergansers are fairly common on small ponds and rivers in Canada and Northern United States, where they dive for fish, crayfish, and other food, seizing it in their thin, serrated bills. They nest in tree cavities; the ducklings depart with a bold leap to the forest floor when only one day old.

I've seen a quite a few Hoodies around here this winter, mostly in the calmer waters by Carre Hagel Park, the Festival Park Lagoon and the Pugh Marina. In fact, I saw a dozen of them last weekend.

The top picture of the male was taken at the Festival Park Lagoon on 1/6/2013. This guy was just drifting along with a few females when I took this picture from my car on the Causeway. The bottom picture the female was taken at the Pugh Marina on 12/29/2012. Even though it's a little obscured from the falling snow, I like it because a fish can be seen dangling in her beak.


Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my no snow angels!  How are you?  I’m still not completely over the flu that Mr. OrbsCorbs gave me. What a holiday present that was.  The gift that keeps on giving.  The strangest part of it is the spacey feeling that overcomes you.  As I approached home the other day, I thought to myself that I should compliment the driver on doing such a good job.  Then I remembered that I was the driver.  Oh my.

Our superlative Green Bay Packers brushed aside the Minnesota Vikings in the first round of playoffs last week.   Next, the Packers meet the San Francisco 49ers this Saturday, January 12, at Candlestick Park, 7 p.m.  Onward, Wisconsin’s sports soldiers!

It’s early in the season, but I think I already have a case of the winter blahs.  After the hype and hoopla of the past few months, January’s dreary tediousness sets in. The gray, gray days and long, dark nights can affect us.  To counter this, I recommend as much Madame Zoltar’s® Liquid Sunshine™ as you can drink.  Be careful.  It’s powerful stuff.  It may make you so happy that you become insufferable to friends and strangers.  All sales final. No refunds.

I don’t know if I’ve had too much Liquid Sunshine™, or not enough.  I’m getting that woozy sensation again.  I think I best lie down for awhile.  It’s two steps forward and one step back with this flu.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my blog.  I appreciate your efforts.  I hope you find things enjoyable.

Contact me on any matter, great or small: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

There should be more snow on the ground. Personally, I hate the stuff, but the landscape needs moisture badly.  And, no, peeing outdoors does not help. Take care of yourselves, my dears.  Uranism!   

Open Blog - Wednesday


You, too.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Help me I’m confused…

Rock samples from a proposed iron ore mine in Ashland and Iron counties should be made public so citizens and lawmakers can judge the potential harm that waste rock could have on local waters, Bad River Tribal Chairman Mike Wiggins Jr. said Tuesday.

I don’t understand it, maybe someone can explain it to me.

A mine; they dig up the ground to find the ore….Uhmmm, I guess that means it’s already in the ground.

NOW, they dig it up and put it on top of the ground and it becomes a pollutant.

What am I missing here?

Click here to read the full article for Jsonline.

Nice Quote

See what the guy who wants to ban guns think about his safety.
His is really important, but your's is not.
 

My New MedicAlert Bracelet


You can't be too careful.

Open Blog - Tuesday


Have an explosive day.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Woodkid - "Iron"



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodkid

I like this kind of stuff.

Snowy Owl

I'm going to try something here and see how it goes.... One or twice a week, I'm going post a "profile" on a creature that I have photographed in the past year. My goal is to increase awareness of the wildlife around us.

Many of us are familiar with Hedwig, the Snowy Owl of Harry Potter Fame. Little do many know that Snowy Owls can be found around here. Snowy Owls mainly breed in the northernmost regions of the Arctic tundra of Alaska, Canada and Eurasia. Some will migrate southward during the winter depending on their food supply of mice and lemmings. These highly nomadic birds will often feed other small mammals and birds.

Although they are rare to uncommon in Wisconsin, you find them in open fields,airports and harbors that have the tundra like appearance. Scan the posts, hay bales, rocks, silos that would give them high ground for them to search for prey. They'll often sit there for hours.

This picture was taken at the South Shore Yacht Club in Milwaukee on December 14, 2012. I had been reading reports on her sightings at the club. She has been hanging around in the area for about week. (She still may be there) Tender Heart and I decided to try our luck. When we got there, we had no trouble in finding her. We just followed all the photographers that were there already. One guy had traveled all the way from Madison just to take pictures. I had spent about a half an hour there taking many pics.

Oh yeah, the heavy barring suggests this is a young female.