Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my luscious peaches! How are you? Are you enjoying our wonderful summer weather? As usual, there are lots of things to do in and around Racine this week. We may be in a recession and out of work, but that doesn’t stop Racine from having a good time. At right is a screenshot of upcoming events from the usual source, the Journal Times, http://www.journaltimes.com/lifestyles/leisure/article_ff8c2baa-7672-11e0-88b9-001cc4c03286.html Click to enlarge.

That Ironman competition on Sunday sounds interesting. I like to watch a lot of buff men competing against each other. The sun, the sweat, the bulging muscles, oh my! I have Senor Zanza, but he is not exactly what I would call an iron man. Or maybe it’s just some rust . . . hmm, I had the same problem with my ex. Anyway, don’t be surprised if you see me checking out the beefcake in Racine this weekend.

I was a little sad to read that the Zoo beach was recently closed because of E. coli. I know that this happens occasionally, and much less than it used to, but our lake and beaches once were such pristine places. Do you suppose it could have anything to do with the poop that Milwaukee sometimes pumps into Lake Michigan? Oh dear! How disgusting. It’s miraculous that we have award-winning drinking water.

Finally, here’s a joke that Junior told me:

“Debbie visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the crystal ball before her, the fortuneteller delivered the bad news:

“‘There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt – prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.’

“Visibly shaken, Debbie stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

“She simply had to know. She met the psychic’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:

"'Will I get away with it?’”

Oh my! Thank you for reading my blog this week, my dears. Regular or Irregular, I love you all. Our time together is wondrous and uplifting. Whee!

Who will win the Ironman? Find out here: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy the summer, my lovelies. This is why we tolerate winter’s wrath. Have fun, be safe, be happy. Hircismus!

8 comments:

jedwis said...

Mme Z...be sure to wear tinted glasses.

zanza said...

My lovely, my dearest, even though there may be some snow on the roof, the fire still burns deep inside. I am confident enough in my "powers" to let you look all you wish. I will douse any burning embers when you return to your abode, you divine, diviner.

My visions forebode great heat in many ways on Sunday. The participants will find the Racine area especially challenging when the heat and humidity reach their, um shall I say, climax.

Please take caution if you take part in extracurricular activities. Keep a bottle of that clean (feces extracted) Racine water nearby. Save your Zoltar™ stress potions for when you return to an air conditioned setting. I've found they are quite delightful mixed with a little orange or cranberry juice.

jedwis said...

Way to set the mood, zanza. Mme Z...Let me know when the bikini contest starts.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Senor Zanza, I just love it when you speak suggestively!

OrbsCorbs said...

That's a great psychic joke, Mme. Z. I bet you've heard this one:

What did one psychic say when she met the other psychic?
"You are fine. How am I?"

Anonymous said...

That's a good one Orbs. Here's another: What did one psychic say when she met the other psychic? We've met before haven't we?

I think that should be enough, lest a lightening bolt smite us in the arse.

kkdither said...

Whooeeee.. Madame, that is one hot tamale you found there!

It is gorgeous out there today. Hard to believe that M. Nature will hit is with her best shot again this weekend.

My psychic joke: (I love his dry humor)

“I almost had a Psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” Steven Wright.

SER said...

That kills me that Zoo beach is messed up. It is far from Milwaukee and Root River. I'll go along with blaming Milwaukee!!!