Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my friends and lovers!  How are you?  Well, we finally got some heat.  In typical Wisconsin weather, spring lasts for two or three days and then the firebomb is dropped on us.  “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.”  Actually, it’s both.  But, as I noted just a few months ago, I’m not going to complain about the heat because of how darn cold it gets in winter.  I’ll take 80 or 90 degrees or more rather than the below zero death trap winter days and nights.  I haven’t turned on the air conditioning yet, but I’ve used its fan.  I also sleep with a fan blowing on me almost every night, summer or winter. 

I remember a place I lived in before I met Junior’s father.  It was steam heated and I had an apartment directly above the boiler room.  On the coldest winter days, I would have both of my radiators turned off while the ceiling fan blew.  Opening windows was the best way to deal with it, but my landlord at the time warned me he would fine me if he saw my windows open.  Meanwhile, apartments in the far corners of the building had all their radiators on and they were still cold.  I considered living in my underwear (or less) at home during the winter, but the apartment was right next to the parking lot.  I didn’t want to put on a show.

I’m not sure where in the process the proposed raise for Mister City Administrator Tom Freidel is, but I liked what our Mr. Toad had to say.  Don’t give him a raise.  Let him walk, if he dares.  Where else is he gong to find a job that pays so well, with so many perks?  And if he does walk, that would be a perfect time to reconsider the need for the position.  We didn’t need one until Mister then-Mayor Becker decided that being a pedophile was a full time job.  So he hired Mr. Ben Hughes to do his job for him.  Mr. Hughes promptly resigned after Mr. Becker’s arrest.  So why does Mr. Mayor Dickert need a city administrator?  So Mr. Mayor can fly to Paris with his friends and have a good time.  There are a lot of similarities between Racine and Paris, such as, uh, such as . . . its light during the day and dark at night. 

I can hardly wait for Machinery Row to save us from ourselves.  I asked Señor Zanza and Junior if they’d like to live down by the river.  Junior asked, “Will it smell like fish?” Señor Zanza just snorted.  So I guess not.  I don’t think I’d like it, either.  There’s something to be said for green space around your home.  We don’t have much of a yard; it’s an old city lot, like most of the homes around here.  I like having a picnic table and grill.  We can do that.  We can even have a small party on our lawn, or hold the overspill from a larger indoor party at home.  Please, no peeing on the neighbor’s shrubs.  And watch out for the garden.  And no tormenting the neighbor’s dog, Flash.

Here’s a song in the vein of today’s blog:

I’ll always be on your side, Irregular or not.  I love my regulars and irregulars, Irregular or not.  Thank you for reading my blog this week.  Be on my side.

Enjoy the warming trend, my dears.  May the heat help heal us all from winter’s indignities.  Get out there and enjoy it, because you know your time is limited.  Before you know it, you’ll be shoveling snow again.  I love you all.  Fruitjzka!


Tender Heart Bear said...

Madame- Let Junior know we live two blocks away from the lake and we do not have the fishy smell here.

I will take the warm weather compared to the cold below 0 weather.

OKIE said...

We too went from rain to high heat. Today the heat index is going to be 104. But rain is in the forecast for the weekend so that should cool us down for a bit.

As always thank you for your post Madame.

Toad said...

Madame, Looks like the Common Council listened. The POOR guy will just have to live with the tiny wage he receives now. Waa, Waa. BTW, I know his brothers Mike, and Tony, and they BOTH worked for a living. They are TWINS.

kkdither said...

Thank you for your blog, Madame. Visiting late, still enjoying despite the delay.

OrbsCorbs said...

Mme. Z., Friedel didn't get his raise. I gather from comments on the Journal Times site that lat night's Common Council meeting got rather raucous. Let him walk if he doesn't like it, but I think he'll stay, under the protective wing of his cousin.