Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my glimmering gladiolas! How are you? The shift back from Daylight Saving Time always takes a little out of me. What did you do with your extra hour? I slept. I needed it after Madame Esmeralda’s Halloween blow out. I can party with the best of them, but Madame E. takes it to a new level. Everyone was in disguise and the drinks were flowing freely. The evening turned into a blur and the next thing I knew, I was on a couch being pawed by old man Mysterio, the retired magician. I threatened his crystal balls and he backed off. The nerve of some people! I had a wonderful time overall, but I had to leave around 3 a.m. (astral standard time). I guess I’m slowing down a little as I enter the latter half of my 20’s. ;)

No message in a bottle or other communiqué was delivered to my desk this week.

Racine has been relatively quite this past week, too. There have been some more shenanigans at City Hall, but that’s business as usual. The real mischief is just about to begin nationwide with the census. Trust Madame Zoltar on that one.

I really don’t know what to say about our precious Packers defeat at the hands of Mr. Favre and his Viking cohorts. It galls me all the more because he still has not made good on the rubber check he gave me for the last potion he purchased. When it runs out, I hope he doesn’t think he can charm any more out of me. I’m on to your game now, Brett, and I don’t think Deanna would appreciate the statistics. Pay up or lose your edge. Maybe it’s for the better if you don’t come up with the money. It’s beginning to look a little suspicious how a 40-year old hillbilly addict is throwing the ball so darn well.

If you go to the H1N1 vaccination clinic at Case High School this Saturday, I predict a long line. It’s only for specific people and age groups, so don’t attend unless you or someone you are taking is eligible. More information is available on the City of Racine’s Health Department website: clinics website info.pdf. They don’t want you there if you have a fever or are sick. Please don’t spread the germs in public. They will have about 5,500 doses to distribute. I don’t understand how Kenosha got more doses than we did, and earlier, too. I am sure that there is some logical explanation involving red tape and submitted forms and deadlines and so on. Every time that I try to penetrate the mysteries of the bureaucratic universe, I am reminded of my trips to Hades - but at least those were educational.

Speaking of the government and hell, I was hoping to give my Irregulars some predictions on the health care reform, um, process that is currently fermenting in Washington, DC. I have peered and peered, my dears, into the future on this one, but each time that I do, it’s completely different. I’m seeing everything from teeming masses of healthy, robust Americans to legions of lepers and zombies swarming and spreading disease across the land. Until they stop tinkering with the works in Washington, it’s impossible to call it. I hate to say it, but our representatives seem to always lean more toward the zombies than health.

The following video is a request from Mr. OrbsCorbs’ cat, Charlie. Charlie, of course, cannot post videos (because he is not an author on this site). He contacted me as I am sensitive to communication with nonhuman life forms. Charlie hopes that this short video is in keeping with the start of the Thanksgiving holiday season. He also wanted to make the point that it’s not always the cat, Mr. OrbsCorbs. Thank you, Charlie, for “Happy Thanksgiving:”

That’s my blog for this week, my dear Irregulars. Thank you so much for reading it. I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you. Please don’t hesitate to send me your latest gossip or surgical horror stories:

Indian summer or arctic blast ahead? Mother Nature isn't telling me. I hope for the best and plan for the worst. Emporia!


Why Not? said...

well it's an Arctic blast.. it's been snowing all day and very cold..

kkdither said...

Poor picked on Charlie!