Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Dear Madame Zoltar
The last I heard, it's supposed to storm up. Poop. One more time I must summon the strength to face winter. It gets worse every year. The constantly gray skies overpower everything else. We are locked now in winter mode. Let's hope the supposed "climate change" makes it better for us. The polar ice caps are melting. I wonder how long that will go on? If you live along the United States' coastlines, you better buy a boat.
Well now, our multi-million dollar baby couldn't save the Packers from defeat. I wouldn't even play him in the next two games. Let him heal for next year. I know that he plans on playing and that he wants to play, but can we afford to expose him to the possibility of more physical damage in two meaningless games? Does he need to make a cameo appearance? We love you, Aaron, and we know you want what's best for the team. Hey, look at this: http://www.packersnews.com/story/sports/nfl/packers/2017/12/19/packers-shutting-down-aaron-rodgers-season/964245001/ It's official. He's on injured reserve for the last two games. Sorry, Aaron. We love you and want what's best for you.
Here are the Irregular Football League standings:
Look at that. After dominating the league all season, the Half-Astrophysicists have been knocked out of first place by The Mighty Bears. The Mighty Bears will face the Racine Irregulars for the championship. Meanwhile, the 3rd place game features the Half-Astrophysicists against the Orbliterators. There's more drama here than in the rest of the Packers' season.
Foxconn. That's all, just Foxconn. Let the search engines find this page.
The western part of the county will be in constant turmoil if Foxconn comes here. It will be more like a multi-ring circus than a construction site. I'll enjoy watching whatever happens. They should post a camera there so people can watch the action from their homes. Just keep me out of it.
All I want for Christmas is the love and joy of my family. You're part of that, you know. We're a family and you're a member. I love you all. Go forth and spread our propaganda around the world.
If you're traveling for the holidays, be extra careful and lay off the booze. Remember what this is all about: the birth of the Savior of the World. So who cares if you're cut off by a car: the Christ is born.
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