Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my electoral collegiates!  How are you?  Yesterday was the big vote day.  As I write this, Mr. President Obama has been re-elected.   Of course, I knew the outcome.  Unfortunately, it would have been unethical to reveal such information before the results were official.  Mr. Mitt Romney has conceded. Too bad they both didn't.  Ha-ha, we can only wish.

I saw some small patches of snow on the Wisconsin weather radar.  Yuck.  I’m OK with a white Christmas, but I’m no fan of blizzards, ice storms, snow drifts, and deep freezes.  Last winter was perfect from my perspective, but I know that the landscape suffered for it.  Because of the drought, many foods have risen in price.  So, let there be snow this winter, but, please, no monster storms.  And no accumulations above 6 inches.  Please?

Our phenomenal, sensational, stupendous Green Bay Packers slaughtered the Cardinals last Sunday.  Hip-hip-hooray!  I love Green Bay!  For their efforts over the weeks, the Pack has earned a well-deserved bye week.  Their next astounding performance is scheduled for November 18, noon, against the Detroit Lions in Ford Field.  May the Pack maul them.

I received another delightful e-mail from the ebullient Mr. SER.  He wrote:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

With the end of the world coming on or about 12/21/2012 what’s the chance of having you work your magic and move Christmas from December 25th to November 22nd, Thanksgiving Day?

The only real problem I see is what will happen with all the Christmas trees….


Dear Mr. SER, thank you for contacting me.  Personally, I’d like to see Christmas moved to the Friday after Thanksgiving, thus giving us two big holidays in a row and two days to recover.  Or we could go pedal to the metal with Halloween II, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year in one weekend.

In any case, I’m not sure that my “magic” is up to such an undertaking.  There would be a lot of ticked-off merchants besides the tree salesmen.

The best way may be to just tell everyone you know that you are celebrating Christmas along with Thanksgiving this year.  I mean, certainly if we can have Fesitvus Poles, then we can have Christmas any darn day we want.  Experts agree that December 25 is probably not the date of Jesus Christ’s birth.  It was put there to coincide with the pagan solstice activities.  So let’s get creative with Christmas.  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  The world will end?  Ha!

Enjoy our brisk days and longer nights, my dears.  The end of Daylight Saving Time always seems like the beginning of winter to me.  It’s the darkness earlier in the evening.  Remember to change the batteries in your car flashlight and key ring light.

Forget the presidency, who’s gong to win the Super Bowl?  Find out:            

Keep your eyes peeled for children getting onto and off of buses.  Soon we’ll be slip sliding down the streets.  Be careful, my loves.  Hippophile! 


legal stranger said...

You should have warned about no bedtime games and 4 more (t)(y) ears.

OrbsCorbs said...

If a lover of horses is called a hippophile, what is a lover of hippos called?

SER said...

That would be nice to get everything done right in a row.

After 3 days we could all be fat little piggy's with full tummys.