Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sweets!  How are you?  It looks like our temperatures are finally hovering around seasonal.  Still a little cool sometimes, but that’s better than hot and humid.  I’m sure we’ll have plenty of those days, too.  That’s summer in Wisconsin.  Very high heat and humidity I can usually stand, but 26 below zero with 50 mph winds I don’t like at all.  One of the great things about this time of year for us “old folk” is no ice or snow to slip on while walking.  Foot freedom until next December, or so.  I can walk normally, even run.  But when the sidewalk or parking lot is full of snow and/or ice, it gets harder to deal with every year.  It’s almost like my bones know they’re more brittle, so I’m reduced to mincing, baby steps.  I hate it.

Now really people, how are you?  Are you OK physically, mentally, and spiritually?  The comments section below is a good place to complain if things aren’t so good.  It helps to get it off of your chest.  I’m beginning to feel arthritis in my hips and knees.  Sometimes it’s so bad, especially in my right hip, that I have to take an extra dose or two of my Madame Zoltar’s® General Purpose Pain Reliever.  I must be careful, though.  Five or six doses of that have put me on my butt.  However, I was feeling no pain, or much of anything else.  It’s good to know that my Pain Reliever is a multi-purpose product that will also remove paint, power your car, and get your clothes stunningly white again, all of them, even those that were colored.  That is, assuming that the Pain Reliever/detergent doesn’t shred your clothes to pieces.

“Pain Reliever/detergent” reminded me of a news story I read today: “Man dies after waiter accidentally serves him glass of detergent instead of wine” - But, how was the meal otherwise?  Oh my, I’m so nasty.

Guess who I heard from?  My ex, of course, after I published this:  He said “The Shaman” was cutting deep into his revenues.  “Good,” I said.  Then he started his regular spiel and trying to hypnotize me.  I reminded him that I’m quite good friends with Señor Zanza.  “I have nothing more to say to you,” I said to him.  “If you need to contact me, do it through Señor Zanza.”  I’ve not heard a word from him since.  When I asked Señor Zanza if my ex has contacted him, he said, “You need to rest.  Don’t even think about him.  I take care of everything.”

That’s reassuring, I guess.  I’m not used to not being the boss and it’s hard for me to let go control of some things.  The Señor can bring home the bacon for awhile if he so desires.  I don’t mind relaxing a little.

Want to see something relaxing?  Watch this:

Oh, wuggums, who’s a good boy, huh, who’s a good boy?

Enjoy the outdoors as much as possible, my lovelies.  Things are still changeable, but I’ve finally put away my winter coat and boots for the season.  I hope it won’t snow for awhile.

To buy Madame Zoltar’s® General Purpose Pain Reliever, contact:

Stay loose, kiddos. Summer hasn’t even officially started.  When driving, keep a lookout for motorcycles and bicycles and kids running into the street.  You never know when a child may dart out.  Protect your eyes and skin from the harmful rays of the sun.  I love you all!


OKIE said...

We had a parrot once. He was mean but had his nice moments. He would have loved this, but would not have let us do it.

As always thank you for your blog Madame.

Why Not? said...

I'm a bit sad and lonely, I sent my family off to the states before me.. I will be in Racine from July 11th.. This is the first time I have been separated from my girls ever.. The house seems so small and quiet... I'm sure I will find things to keep myself busy as we are moving when we get back.. We are buying a house finally.. So there is a lot of packing to do.. Busy season starts at work as well so that will keep me busy.. I've recently been promoted to head of housekeeping and hotel rooms... So it's exciting.. Lots to do..

SER said...

dang weather is out of control that's all I know..

kkdither said...

Congratulations on the promotion, Why Not! You might be running the place, soon! We really should plan a summer picnic or get together? Do you think we can talk Ms. Beejay and Biggie D. into joining us?

Madame, it is so good and proper for Senor Z. to take care of things. Sometimes a man can be just the right thing to set another man in his place.

Just finished planting, mulching and trimming bushes. No electricity behind those chops. My arms got a workout. I'm sure I'll be stiff tomorrow, but at least I won't have to worry about a gym membership. So much more to do, so little ambition.

OrbsCorbs said...

Why Not, it sounds like a time of big changes in your life. Congratulations on the promotion and the house. Maybe we'll see you soon.

Mme. Z., thanks for another great blog.

OKIE said...

Congratulations Why Not. You have a lot of great things going on.

lizardmom said...

Congrats, Whynot!
This weather is crazy, one day hot and so humid the air is crazy thick, to nice and cool and comfy, old ma nature seems to definitely have hit menopause!