Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my odds and ends!  How are you?  I love this weather.  Someone must’ve slipped Mother Nature a Quaalude.  Thanks, whoever you are.  These are the golden days of summer.  Grab what fun you can. 
I’m totally freaked by Packer talk.  I haven’t kept up.  Their first preseason game is tomorrow night against the deflatable New England Patriots, current reigning Super Bowl Champs.  You never know who or what you’ll see in a preseason game.  It might be a real snore or a big roar.  6:30 PM at Gillette Stadium on TMJ4 TV.

Junior is conflicted over returning to school: he hates schoolwork, but loves all the girls in school.  He’s a B+ average guy.  His teachers’ tell me he could do better by applying himself more to his schoolwork.  I think every teacher in the world has used that one a few thousand times.  Remember when your hormones were raging?  How much did that make you feel like “applying yourself” to your schoolwork?

Señor Zanza’s thinking of starting a volunteer club of people to patrol nearby parking lots on hot days, looking for children or pets sweltering in the heat.  He’s also thinking of applying for a grant to pay for some sort of conveyances for volunteers to use.  Maybe golf carts or Segways.  I don’t know why, but I always feel like I’m being judged by people who use Segways.  Then there’s DRC’s “Ambassadors” riding around on Segways to keep the riff-raff out of downtown.  Certainly anyone can volunteer to check lots for baking babies.  A bicycle would work, too.  AND SO WOULD THE BOOM CARS!  When they patrol the lot, everyone would wake up.  Or they could turn up the volume even more and shatter everyone’s glass.

Can we talk?  I hate those cars.  I wish there was some kind of device like cell phone jammers that could turn off the boom cars from a distance.  There’s a few in my neighborhood and everything starts rattling when they drive by.  I just don’t get it.  Like the pants half-off trend.  WTF?  Why would you want to walk around with your underwear partially showing?  Things get nuttier every day.

“Los Angeles dumps 96 million plastic balls into a reservoir:”

Maybe we should fill Lake Michigan with balls.  Then we could walk across the lake every winter.

Thank you all for reading my blog today.  I appreciate that your time is valuable and I appreciate that you spend some of it here.

What else can you do with balls?  Ask

Enjoy the weather.  Play nice with others.  Don’t forget to thank God everyday.  I love you.


lizardmom said...

boom cars make my ear drums hurt, I don't get it... that will be the next generation that goes deaf...

kkdither said...

At first, I thought, why not colorful balls? Then I wondered wtf?, why are they dumping these balls. Also, Tom Selleck was recently named and charged with receiving truck loads delivered to his home that were stolen from a nearby fire hydrant. People are crazy....

I have a neighbor, a couple blocks down, who either owns a boom car, or has a friend who visits on a regular basis. It shakes my huge picture window to the point that one day, it is going to shatter.

Football? At least it will be a distraction from all this political stuff.

Thank you for your column, Madame. Exercise patience. It is all we can do.

Toad said...

The ball are an Ingenious idea for a pond as such. I don't think a lake would be too easy, BUT think of the recycled plastic these ball use. Being black they absorb the heat, and perhaps even create some water In doing so? Now all they have to worry about Is people stealing them for the swimming pools.

OKIE said...

There is a car that goes through the parking lot behind the house with the bass so loud we have to think for a minute whether it's the car or an earthquake starting.

They have no idea what it's doing to their hearing. Crazy.