Monday, August 17, 2015

"Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Televangelists (HBO)"

Don't you go ripping on my favorite televangelist, Robert Tilton. He speaks in tongues. I don't know whose.


OKIE said...

I watched this and he was spot on. We can heal you, just send us $49.95. Didn't get it done the first time, just send us another $49.95. Sadly, people believe this crap.

kkdither said...

I love John Oliver and Rachel Dratch. John's commentary is so intelligently put together. What a fricking despicable racket these so called people of God have, pointed at those who are the most desperate, and sadly, less intelligent.

So, with that being said... the Church of JTIrregulars needs some paperwork filed before you can send us your seed. We meet here daily, we have a mission of kindness. We ask you to silently meditate on all that is wrong in politics, laugh every day, and leave your comments to proclaim your allegiance to the sheriff.

We are Irregular. We are different from the rest. Along with your tithe, we also want the seed: marigold, spinach, jalapeno. Just don't send corms, bulbs, and cuttings. They get squished and dried out.

OrbsCorbs said...

You don't have to send money to Tilton to get all those crazy pieces of mail. I collected his junk mail for months once. I finally stopped responding and they stopped coming. Really wild, nutso stuff. "Sleep on this prayer cloth and then send it back to me (with money)." One of those damn oil packets burst in the mail and made the contents an oily mess.

As for the Church of the JTI, I'm already a minister of the Universal Life Church. I sent in a couple bucks and became "ordained" back in college. I'll gladly change sides if we can get some money, I mean, "seed," sent to us. It didn't look that hard to establish a legal "church" in the U.S.

How do you become a televangelist? Are there schools? I'd love to speak in tongues with Tilton, also known as "The Farting Preacher."

OrbsCorbs said...

Of course, the best church of all is The Church of the SubGenius. Look, my avatar is now a registered trademark. Someone on Hate.con took a dislike to me and complained about my avatar to the Church of the SubGenius. The Church said everything I was doing was in line with their religion and gave me a pass.

kkdither said...

Orbs, that is hilarious! Your avatar will always be OrbsCorbs in my book!

THB, every day should be a little better. Hang in there. It will be worth it!