Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my fiddle-faddles!  How are you?  Well, we officially have a new mayor: Cory Masonite.  I'm sure he'll be just as tough on deal makers as our previous excuse for a mayor.  Just follow the money, Cory, just do what you're told to do and everything will be alright.

Uh, the Packers lost.

Here are the standings from the Irregular Football League:

Omg!  How did Mr. OrbsCorbs get past me?  Oh no!  This can't be!

Our Chowder Head in Chief is on an Asiatic tour.  I'm sure he's being surrounded by followers at least two people thick.  Just don't start a nuclear war, please.  Chubby Cheeks is sensitive to criticism.  That's something you have in common with him.  If Trump has balls as big as he claims he does, let him slit Chubby Cheeks' throat.  Donald, don't forget to wear your body armor.  We can hide a fully automatic AK47 and ammo behind the podium on the stage.  Let him spray it, not say it.

Trump may have to be taken into custody by the Secret Service.  Nobody knows where the fuck he is then, except probably out in the desert somewhere.  Those fuel cells on the roofs of all of the ATVs are filled with gasoline.  Fuel for the vehicles and a generator.  The vehicles are armored.  An explosion on the roof would have little effect on surrounding vehicles or the vehicle below.

A rocket-propelled grenade at the right spot might do the trick, but why chance it and call in an air-strike, instead. "Good night, Irene, good night, Irene..."

We have trouble finding Mr. Gov. Scooter sometimes.  I think he likes to get together with his frat buddies there and sing and drink until broad daylight.  Then he makes laws.

Does he know of the vast number of drinking establishments we have downtown, with more on the way?  It's a drunk's paradise.  Let's call Machinery Row, Drunkard's Row instead.  I wonder how many drunks will fall into the river and drown?

OK, my children, I love you and pray for your protection all week long.  The nut jobs with rifles seems to be on the rise.  What a world we have made.

Turkey Day is on the march towards us.  A day devoted to gluttony.  We know how to celebrate a holiday in America.  Eat well.  Spend well.  Love well.  Oh yeah.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Its Scott Walkers fault the packers are losing.
And besides, it doesnt matter anyway, the NFL is a dying league.