Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my butterflies!  How are you?  Keeping cool? I was talking with a friend the other day and we both agreed that this has, so far, been a normal summer for us.  We do need rain, but we’re not at drought levels, yet.   It’s been pretty hot a few times, but nothing abnormal.  Let’s hope that next winter is the same.  Cold, but not arctic cold.  Of course, ever since Mother Nature went insane, nothing is for sure.  She’s off her meds and on the prowl.  I also think that she likes to make meteorologists look bad by not following their predictions.  She’s such a screwball.

And speaking of screwballs, what a bunch are running this country?  Too bad that we can’t just hit a reset or reboot button to start all over. When did American politicians go bad?  I’ve lived a few decades, and I don’t remember it like this.  Why does a difference of opinion now lead to hate?  Maybe it’s time to add some tranquilizers to the water.  And lace the booze with truth serum.  Heck, I do that for breakfast.

My hero, Señor Zanza, may have saved a life the other day.  We went to Wal-Mart.  (I know, but the prices are so low.)  In the parking lot, Señor Zanza spotted a young child in a locked car parked in the sun.  Windows rolled up.  He immediately got the store to announce the type of vehicle and where it was parked.  A sheepish-looking woman finally showed up.  He gave her a tongue-lashing.  He told her we were moments from calling the police and throwing a brick through the car glass to let in air.  She agreed it was the wrong thing to do, but she was “just going to run in and quickly get a few things.”  Huh!  There’s no such word as “quickly” in Walmart.

Now, Señor Baby Saver acts a little snooty.  There’s talk of giving him some sort of civic award.  That scares the poopy out of the little snooty.  “He doesn’t want to appear on TV or video of any kind.  He refuses to allow his face and/or portrait photographs of any kind to be shown.  He is adamant!  And probably guilty of 40 major crimes,” said the TV producer.

“Do you have any proof of that?” I asked the producer.

He said, “This is TV.  You don’t need proof on TV.”

I can’t think of Señor Zanza, my partner for years, guilty of any crime, I think.  Yes, no, I don’t know.

You know, a scandal about him might easily spill over into my business.  “Don’t worry,”
the Señor says.  “Everything will be alright.”

And speaking of things spilling over, I have a client to attend to later today, so I won’t be able to make it to the get-together. I apologize.  My client ha$ i$$ue$ he need$ to re$olve.  I still love you all, every last one.

Here’s a heartwarming story for us dog-lovers:

Aww, good dog.  I tried practicing what Mr. OrbsCorbs said about rubbing noses with online pets.  I didn’t get bit or anything, but now my screen is greasy.

I hope that you enjoyed my blog this week.  You know I love the company.  You’re my pals!

Who’s snooty and who’s poopy? Ask:

Thanks again for stopping by.  Get out and have some summer fun, but don’t get hurt.  (“Yes, mother.”)  Whatever else you do, don’t forget the sunscreen.  Mr. Sun has caused a lot of Big C in baby boomers.  I told you Mother Nature is insane.  I love you all.


Toad said...

I LOVE the story about the child In the hot car, AND the story of the Pit Bull, that to ME, looks like part English Mastiff. The face just Isn't right for a pure Pit Bull, which BTW, I am NOT afraid of. I have NOT met a Pit Bull yet, that I can't approach, and give some good ole lovin too. WELL, I take that back. One of the "Good ole Boy's" up here was obviously training his to be mean, and when I was petting her, he yelled for her to jump In the back of the truck. He was playing with a knife. Hopefully he will stab himself In the Femoral Artery.

OKIE said...

Who runs into Walmart for a minute. You might find your item but you won't get checked out that quick. Idiots.

As always thank you Madame.

OrbsCorbs said...

Thanks, Mme. Z. for another great blog.

kkdither said...

Thank you, Madame. I read, but forgot to comment. You would thing that people would start to get the hint about leaving an animal or a child in the car. There has been so much in the news and online about it. I even heard that they are looking to install a sensor in cars that would alert if a car seat had an occupant sitting when the car is turned off.